Hello darlin', take a peek at my new jewelry drawer!

Let's talk about something that's really important and will bring light into your cold, snowy life:  COSTUME JEWELRY ORGANIZATION!

As we talked about IN 2014 I wanted to organize my mess of jewelry in concordance with my bedroom redo.  It felt right.  I'm adulting one drawer at a time.  

So in true Virgo fashion I began a downward research spiral of all the jewelry organization systems on the market until I wanted to die and then made an impulse decision.

Behold the Ampersand jewelry trays from - wait for it - Bed Bath and Beyond!  I feel so solidly Middle Class!  My 401k immediately gained 3%.  I don't think I've bought anything from BB&B in years but here we are, trying to avoid that one weird dude in a blue apron and all the good candy at the front near the checkout.  

I didn't want something plastic and these looked relatively classy and functional for my needs.  They also needed to stack inside my Malm dresser which is another reason I bought two four-drawer dressers and not one six-drawer.  Swedish space.  It's the ultimate luxury.

Not only did I like BB&B's options best I even signed up for their text alerts to get the 20% off coupon so I could get everything on sale.  I drank the Kool-Aid.  Or more specifically I inhaled that poisonous parfum they pump through their vents.  

I would get a text every few weeks and then head over and add another piece.  It took awhile but I'm not made of money.  I'm made of Cubic Zirconia and bracelets that turn my arm a little green!

The reason I went with this line was because of my bangle collection.  I have a few and if I laid them all down in their own individual compartments I'd need another Malm dresser.  So they needed to stand up like the architecture of jewelry that they are.

This collection had a good deep tray where I could stand everything up and still be able to close my dresser drawer.  [MS sidebar:  when I went to link to the products at BB&B's website I couldn't find this large three-compartment tray so maybe it's only in stores now?  I'm sorry.  That's my luck.]  

But my current setup fits perfectly in my drawer and getting ready is infinitely easier.  I'm like a real adult!

I think I could fit some smaller trays here on the right but for now it's fine with some travel jewelry bags, my sunglasses (all the cool people include them with their jewelry) and a giant bowl of pearls.  I wear them only when I'm feeling extra French vintage soooo... that one Halloween party from 2003.  

I feel like I have a lot of rings but apparently all my new rings (post 2003) have big thick bands and so they don't actually fit in the ring organizer part.  Well, damn.  But I needed those big squares so we had to make a sacrifice.

the basement level contains an even more random assortment of vintage jewelry finds and a real (?) Tiffany box.  Anytime I get too big for my britches I look at the Mr. T chain I got at Goodwill next to it and feel at home once again.

I would like to add more trays for all my earrings because although I aesthetically like looking at this mess of metal I can't actually find shit in here.  Except for my Conway Twitty pin on the middle left.  Best $3 purchase I ever made.

I have one deep tray that's half full on the bottom and is waiting for my Mema's vintage brooch collection as soon as I remember where it is...  

The weird thing is that I felt like I had TONS of jewelry but since it's been organized I feel like it's less than I thought.  So that means I should buy MOAR JEWELRY.

I wish I had this kind of jewelry horde:

Sadly, this seems to be all the way in Texas.

Like an embarrassment of fake riches but in neat orderly boxes.  What a perfect metaphor for my life.

All in all I think I spent about $80 total which was spread out over the course of a couple of months so that's not too bad.

Not only am I an organized and sparkly adult, I'm a financially responsible one!

I bet Conway Twitty liked that kind of woman.

After spending twenty minutes going through Conway Twitty pics and songs I suddenly remembered that my Mema - the same one with lots of costume jewelry I've momentarily replaced - also loved Conway Twitty!  It must be genetic.

This post wrapped up in surprisingly delightful and nostalgic ways!

And if you don't think Slow Hand is the best sexiest song ever then I can't help you.

Happy Belated Valentine's Day with that one.

Everyone else in the country wants to be tied up right now and I'm lusting after the lyrics of old country songs.  

Okay so I DID watch Secretary twice this past weekend because James Spader is JAMES FUCKING SPADER so I'm not afraid of non-vanilla things.  

Sometimes I just prefer things in nicely-lined, imitation-suede boxes.

This post has now gone further down the spiral so I'll stop talking before I drag Trent Reznor into this mess.

Velvet and rhinestones and an-easy-yet-efficient-storage-solution-for-my-accessories oh my.

Lest you think I'm a total flake I'm hear to assure you I haven't forgotten about showing you my "final" bedroom - whatever that means.  I'm fine if you think I'm lazy but not a flake.  I have personal standards.

Ok I actually keep forgetting to print a photograph to frame so I guess that does make me somewhat flaky... 

And since I'm wrapping up some things in my bedroom I'm shifting focus to other things like ORGANIZING.  Can you even contain yourself with how much excitement you're feeling right now?!

Depending on how you much like jewelry and order maybe you ARE feeling excitement.  I happen to j'adore jewelry and order so much it causes me to use phrases like 'j'adore' in sentences with no hint of sarcasm.

I have a pretty large collection of jewelry - wait, I should say shiny things I adorn myself with because none of that shit is real.  I mean, it's 'real' in the sense that I didn't metaphorically buy it from Forever21 but not real in that sometimes I still find tarnish on my finger when I take my jewelry off.

But I'm tired of shamefully storing it in ugly plastic bins with drawers.  I'm going adult!  With my plastic jewelry.

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However much I would like to casually-but-purposefully display my "jewels" with the help of antlers or Brutalist sculptures or figures from my brass menagerie,  I just don't think I want this much clutter on my dresser top.  I'm not to be trusted with artful mess.

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I j'adore 'artful mess' but the problem with 'artful mess' is that it quickly becomes j'pile of artful shit.

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No way I can maintain a curated mess like this all the time.

Now THIS mess, maybe...  I love the Chanel bag behind the bottle of Yellow Tail.  I can't tell if I love this girl or want to pee in the bag while flipping her off.

Regardless, it's a j'izzillion times better than this mess:

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Jesus crafting Christ, y'all.  

Let's check in with some professionals because this cheese grater shit is the Ebola of Pinterest.  (Creating lots of unnecessary hype in this country by middle class white people that probably watch a lot of Fox News.)

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Stylist Mary Alice Stevenson really knows how to, well, do everything in life perfectly, I'm guessing, based on how meticulous her designer jewelry collection is displayed.  See the rest of her closet here and j'weep in joy and jealousy.

We can't talk about jewelry organizing with talking about everyone's favorite/feared designer Kelly Wearstler.

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Her closet is just as impressive/fearful as you would imagine.

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Somehow I just feel a maniac lurks beneath her expensive exterior.  But I'd be j'happy with her maniac closet and jewelry organization.

But the rest of us plebes have to make do with the Container store and costume jewelry but I'm fine with that because both of those things make me squee.  Who's the middle class white lady now, huh?!?!?!?

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I'm not allowed to look at the jewelry displays at junk stores anymore.  I'm like a magpie but only for bargain sparkle.

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I have a lot of big bangles - it's my crutch signature - so bracelet storage is the cornerstone of my setup.

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Cute little storage bowls like these are fine for some people but I need architecture.

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Although one day I really would like a printer's cabinet or apothecary cabinet or flat file solely filled with glorious jewelry but I'll settle for a drawer or two of my IKE-Rah Malms right now.  

Until then, please continue to enjoy this collection of jewelry storage porn.

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So velvety, so shparkly.

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I mean, damn.

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Literal moist panties right now.  

I j'cream for tray after tray of glitz apparently.  Big surprise.

So I've been researching organization trays for my drawers and the next time you see me I'll probably be draped in powder blue silk and perched atop my Louis Vuitton luggage going through my drawers of aphrodisiacs. 

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