Sunday, April 7, 2013

The additional skills section on my resume includes Microsoft Office Suite and exceptional laziness.

According to my exaggerated internet resume (the only one that ever counts) I'm a design blogger but I have failed you all because I never seem to do anything to my own house.  

Other bloggers make abstract art from all vegetable paints grown from their backyard garden and reupholster furniture with dirty socks but I'm still working through junk mail on my coffee table from February so let's just call that 'master tablescaper' on my resume.

So if you've been wondering why I'm blogging less it's because I've spent more time this Spring thinking about lipstick and The Walking Dead than what manner of DIY project I'm going to fail at for my resume.

If you don't count the massive amounts of laundry I did during the 7th Generation of Holy Hell weekend 3 weeks ago, the only home-related activity I've engaged in was a little tweak to my dining room.
That being I did some shooting at the range and added my target (In Hermezz orange?) to the right side of the China Cabinet of Curiosities and Shit.  I believe in balance when it comes to decor.  

And discipline and accuracy for proper firearm proficiency. 

I should probably put some art or sconces up there but the souvenirs from the shooting range are more fun and remind to keep practicing.  What have sconces ever done for you than helpfully illuminate a space and not scare your dinner guests?

But I didn't stop there.  I pushed forward with monumental changes the internet would love  like organizing my blankets in my linen closet.

It's a shopping disease.  I'm only one person with an animal that already comes with a permanent fur blanket but I have at least two dozen throws that I have arranged into chromatic families.  Somewhere Martha Stewart queefed a butterfly of happiness.

Is it a freezing winter night and you're drunk on cheap wine and haven't shaved your legs in 6 days and want to walk around in a cocoon of fleece?  I've got you covered. 

Is it dusk during a Spring rainshower and you need a gentle layer on your extremities?  Try these chenille spreads from my grandmother.

Going on a picnic? Need to look like an Anthropologie catalog spread? Choose which vintage quilt top goes with your olive tapenade.

Other bloggers probably only have one tasteful blanket they knitted from their shaved pubes but that doesn't really work with my next picnic theme.

I may not have fancy sconces but I have a linen closet that makes me swell full of fuzzy pride and dining room wall art that I have a sneaking suspicion Martha would approve of too.

So I apologize for being a bad design blogger but I'll never apologize for my badass hobbies and OCB.  

That's Obsessive Compulsive Blanketing.


  1. Your dining room is super fun :)

  2. I need some Hermes targets! Those totally need to be framed.

    1. You're welcome to come make your own. ; )

  3. I'm reading this wrapped in a bacon colored blanket with a shooting target pattern woven into it. Does that qualify me to eat dinner at your table?

    1. Sure, if you don't mine me taking aim at your blanket...

  4. You're dining room looks so adult. I clearly need a chandelier....and non-paint-chippy furniture. Mid-century modern metal furniture only looks good if the seats haven't fallen out and the toxic paint isn't flaking off into the toddler's toys....not that that's happening or anything.

    Anyhooooo, your place looks good. You took a picture that count as design-y, right?

    1. I just used the adult filter on my iphone. If you use it on your place it'll be all "Selby-ish" or something!

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