Madame Gravy Goes to Washington.

We know I've been a Cranky McLeafhater this Fall - a pumpkin-flavored thing hasn't touched my lips, been wearing sandals with my jackets, shaking my fist at your decorative front porch mums.  But I think I finally turned my attitude around thanks to a short vacation last week to DC.

My goal was to be spiritually transformed by some leaves and eat something pumpkin and generally be less of a jerk.  I think all of those things happened but at least I know that I Instagrammed those things that made it look like I was spiritually transformed.

However, the only pumpkin thing I've had so far was a piece of stale pumpkin loaf from an airport Starbucks which was still good I don't give a shit.  I love pumpkin and I don't care how much people on the internet make fun of white girls liking pumpkin I'M PROUD TO BE A PALE, PUMPKIN APPRECIATOR!

Well, I like pumpkin but not the part about sounding like a white supremecist...

Aaaanypunkins, I also ate some pho for the first time which makes kinda does make me sound like some kind of white supremecist hillbilly but we do not have these fancy things in Chattavegas!

It far surpassed the stale pumpkin loaf I had and was so delicious I don't even care if you make fun of me for Instagramming my food.  Us hillbillies gotta get it where we can.

To make up for it here are some moderately better pictures of places we've all seen a thousand times.  YOU'RE WELCOME.

But don't ask me what these things are because I have about the same level of tourism depth as I do reading comprehension: ZERO.

That's probably why I've been so spotty with my blogging - I barely have the reading comprehension to process my OWN writing.  Chew on that for a while ooh look is that more pho over there?!

ONWARD TOWARDS MORE PHO!

Is that pho heartburn or is that the tingle as my soul begins to be transformed by Autumn's splendor?

I want a pair of these dudes to flank my front porch.  It's a thousand times better than mums.

Look!  A place!  In another city!  I love travel.

I like DC - it's a real city that is easy to walk around in and is a short flight from Chattanooga.  This means that all the gays are going there to get married and I actually bumped into a couple I know doing exactly that on my same flight.  I'm calling this route the Equality Express now. 

Because fuck you, Tennessee.

But it wasn't all important monuments and buildings I won't remember, I got my nature on too!  I can't remember who's in that statue but I remember metro stops and that these pictures are from Great Falls.

I can't go anywhere without seeing at least SOME rocks.  If I can get there using the handicap accessible trail which I may have done.  

If you look close at the bottom in the middle you'll see a kayaker.  That's as close to I will ever get to living on the edge - WATCHING someone else kayak.  It definitely got my heart pumping.  Much like it does when there are pumpkin flavored things nearby.

Aaaand... I think I'm finally in the holiday spirit.  I had to spend a few days in Texas before going home and I couldn't even wear my sandals with my jacket there it was so cold.  It really is a different season now and Mother Nature said no takesies backsies so we're doing this.

But now that means I have to actually do something with the leaves in my yard instead of pretending magical summer fairies will come and take them away.

You know what this means, y'all?  MOTHERFUCKING CHRISTMAS IS TOMORROW.

See you at the mall.  Please leave me a slice of stale pumpkin loaf.  It's all that will sustain me through the rest of this holiday season.