Monday, December 9, 2013

Simmer down, architects. It's just Jesus' birthday.

This week is all about DIY here at the Ranch so get your glue guns cocked and your glitter bombs ready to deploy, motherfuckers!  Just kidding, that sounds dangerous and we keep things totally safe and kid-friendly around here.

If your kids are over 40 and might have served time in a federal penitentiary.

So to satisfy your criminal family members' insatiable bloodlust for architecture and sugar crafts, check out these modern gingerbread houses that will surely make them squee!

all images via Present and Correct
 I know I did.



Awww... I love all you psychotic detail-oriented freaks who have the time for this.  You make the world a better, more angular place.


So much good in this one.  I think those gumdrops are probably a new kind of solar dome that harnesses the power of the sun and hugs to warm the house and our hearts.


I'M IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION AND MELTED SUGAR.


You slay me, butterfly roof.  You slay straight into my heart with your sharp angles and gravity-defying cantilevers of delight.




Love the front and back of this beauty with its vertical blinds (?) and swag roof trim.  


Would kill for a porte cochere that looked like that.  My old porte cochere (ok it was a carport) was enclosed sometime in the late 60's judging by the paneling and is my dumping ground/room of shame.  I spent this Sunday cleaning it from top to bottom with my gay husband until I blew black grime from my nose.

Think I'd rather give back the square feet to have a LifeSaver wall instead... 


NEVERMIND I TRADE IT ALL FOR A GINGERBREAD CAMPER.


A place this cute probably has no 'room of shame.'


Is it weird that I somehow think these are real houses with tiny rooms inside of them and possibly little gingerbread people wearing nerdy glasses and carrying moleskin notebooks living inside...?

If I see anyone - full size human or tiny gingerbread fictional person - carrying a moleskin I will burn their house down.

I might snack on one of those houses first but I'll let you figure out which one...


This one is pretty much what I want my dream beach house to look (and taste) like.  I LOVE a tropical Christmas.  Not more than a trailer park Christmas but close.  

If there was a trailer park Christmas ON a beach then spank my ass and take me straight to Jesus cause there ain't no livin' left in me.   


But maybe when I'm not styaing in the beach trailer park with your former convict family members, I'd like to visit my true favorite is the VitraHaus - both the candy version and the real version.   I can't LIVE there per se but maybe I could be a stowaway there in a closet or something and come out at night for frolicking and wonderment.

If I was a good blogger I'd probably ask us all to make some modern gingerbread buildings of our own but I'm lazy and want to shop on Amazon some more.  Feel free to be inspired and then send me your results. 

For me to eat.

5 comments:

  1. This was a fine collection of candy architecture that makes me want to main line sugar and watch House Eaters International.

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    1. Out of all three, they never eat the one you think they should.

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  2. These are so cool. I think I was 10 the last time I made a gingerbread house. :)

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    Replies
    1. Are you thinking what I'm thinking.... GINGERBREAD HOUSE PARTY!

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    2. This would be an epic disaster....and I am ALL IN!

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