Sunday, May 11, 2014

Nashville: Cowboy boots, libraries and hipster WASPs.

Last week was was kinda a rough week around the Ranch - my allergies went from sniffles to sinus infection in .6 seconds, I might be living on top of a giant wasp nest because I kill some in my house every day and I have no idea how they're getting in, Charlemagne keeps bringing me dead chipmunks at 3 AM VERY LOUDLY, and my Clarisonic quit working so I have chin congestion.


I feel like I should make a WASP joke here but since I'm not Protestant does it even still apply?

But finally broke down and got some fancy doctoring/antibiotics so my attitude vastly improved.  After 7-10 days.  [MS sidebar: am I one of those people that talks about being sick a lot?  I hope not... it happens every year but somehow it always takes me by surprise. I have a short memory and constantly inflamed nasal passages so I apologize.]

So this week I'm blogging about all the happy things that are going on right now because nobody likes a complainer and also happy things are happening.  

First happy thing that happened was that I had a quick trip to our state's capital: Nashville!  Sinuses be damned!

Despite living in TN I've never actually explored Nashville.  So un-Southern of me.  First I fangirled over some lovely blogger ladies for lunch at Pinewood Social.  Thank you ModFruGal and MeYouandaWiener for your hospitality and camaraderie.

I don't bowl. Have you seen my nails?
Accio Nashville Hipster badge!

Does a Harry Potter reference negate my newly-acquired hipster steet cred?

Oil cans filled with Tender Feelings.  Because I'm the Tin Man of Faux-Hipsterdom...

We did some antiquing downtown where I bought a few small things I don't need.  

It's the American way.

Then we parted ways and I met an historic preservationist friend who was passing through the state.  This worked out well because we both love taking iPhone pictures of buildings.  Yay, dorky tourists!  Also, friendship and shit.

You know I'm a sucker for ivy on a building.  Consume us please, Mother Nature.

The back entrance.  Obviously where I felt more comfortable. (Not an anal joke.)  And no I didn't stay out late at the clubs or bars and listen to people cover Carrie Underwood songs - I had to work the next day!  Universal excuse of old, boring people.

There's a reproduction log cabin in downtown because of course there is this is Tennessee.  To the right of this building is the football stadium because of course there is this is Tennessee.

I would listen to 50 dozen mediocre Carrie Underwood covers if it meant I could see details like this.  Design nerd.

Since I only had a day, walking the typical tourist area was pretty and worth it.  I can mark it off my list.

As well as cowboy boots for miiiiiles.  It is required that every girl there - no matter what your style is in your home city - MUST buy a Forever21 floral dress and wear it with cowboy boots.  Each girl was only marginally different enough that you could TELL they all dressed each other before the trip so no one looked too close to the other one.

Of course, I shouldn't judge their outfits because while my friend and I were standing on the sidewalk some college kid took our picture on the skeevy downlow by holding the camera by his side hoping we wouldn't notice.  His giant flash gave him away and we yelled at him but the antibiotics hadn't kicked in enough for me to run him down and destroy the evidence.  I have a feeling we're on some terrible tumblr dedicated to tourist fashion.  THAT SKEEVY DUDES WANT TO FAP TOO! 

On second thought, I like being a tourist so fuck it.  But if you ever see me on a tourist-shaming tumblr please holler at me so I can cry a lot destroy that asshole.

Honestly, couldn't tell if that was Jesus or Elvis on that roof.  Does it even matter?

Obviously, Nashville is down with some murals and who am I to argue with the Man in Black?

Spent a lot of time here at the Goorin Bros hat store rubbing elbows with some guys with dramatic mustaches while looking in the mirror.  We were trying on the same hats and looking equally fetching in them.  Alas, I only left with a 100 selfies and no hats.

Nashville people hate it when you say Nashvegas.  Chattanooga people also hate it when you say Chattavegas which is why I do it.  I don't need an expensive hat to poorly practice irony.

Boring, old people get excited about library bumper stickers rather than the band directly behind it.  Sounds like me.

Despite the short stay and dangerous air quality warnings advising people to stay indoors, it was a fun little trip.  I laugh in the face of your warnings!! I took some extra nose spray and prayed those antibiotics were strong enough to help my sinuses without being strong enough to wreck havoc on my lady business while away from home.  I was 97% successful.

I hope to start making more trips to Nashville to explore the rest of the city so if you're in the area let me know and we'll hook up!  

Just please don't take clandestine photos of me on the streets.  You'll make me cry murder you.

Later this week I've got other happy things like bedroom updates and other things happening around the house!


  1. You are too young to use the "old, boring" person excuse. Oh, and you're not boring. Almost forgot to say that. By they way, I did buy the requisite cowboy boots when passing through Nashvegas the other year. Probably the pair you wanted, alas. They are in my closet awaiting a visit from any antiques you don't want anymore.

    1. Obviously you need to wear the cowboy boots WHILE you refinish those antiques... What/if you wear anything else is up to you.

  2. So glad to meet you IRL and look forward to your next visit! Love your snaps of Nashville!

    1. Thanks, lady! I had a blast and look forward to hanging out again!

  3. Nashville: Cowboy boots, libraries and hipster WASPs. Last week was was kinda a rough week around the Ranch - my allergies went from ...