Monday, May 19, 2014

Cloudy with a chance of elegance.

Time for another installment of "What's Happening In My Bedroom ReSaucificaiton 2014?"!!

I'm not gonna lie I have no idea how punctuation works in a situation like that so please just politely nod, process my excitement and continue.

First things first, to round up the week (or ten days...) of good things happening Yonce, the Shining Gawddess of Light and Wind Machines, decided to bless me with a gift.

Nicest thing ever.  I got a little teary...
Can you even believe it?!  It's a vintage Moroccan wedding blanket straight from Marrakech that's been reincarnated into a pillow and is now living at the Ranch and makes my heart burst with joy.

*UPDATE:  I was wrong!  This pillow was not FROM a wedding blanket, it was made specifically for the bride's bed as is.  It's a wedding pillow!  I didn't even know that happened so I learned something new today!  

*SECOND UPDATE: Is it weird that I smelled it?

Look, the sequins even have a wonderful patina... 

Are you dying? I'm dying.
Squeed so hard.  I love the texture and shine and hint of color and it's gonna look so flipping suh-WEET on my bed.  Which I will absolutely want to actually make now so I can look at it.

Thank you so, so much to M and y'all please check out Red Thread Souk where this beauty came from. (Not a sponsored plug of any kind, just a friend.)

Man, I really gotta step up my game now.  We's fancy up in herr!

Now onto things that I cannot rely on the altruism of others for, I've FINALLY started painting my new old nightstand.  You may remember this $3 find?

I've spent all my time and energy working in the yard lately so the last thing I wanted to do was come inside and work more.  But thanks to a rainy weekend I could get down to bidness.  

Which was this:

I mean, it was $3.  So I spent a few days patching and sanding the big holes and when I was done I discovered about a dozen more but those are staying as "character."  Sigh...

I set up shop in the corner of my living room because if I'm going to spend hours working at least I can watch tv while I'm doing it.  [Read: I'm super fucking lazy and can't spend an hour alone without being entertained.]

In addition to the nightstand I decided to paint one of those West Elm lacquer trays you see up there on the right.  (I got it at a yard sale a few years ago I think?)  It was cheap and useful but that blue color is the most awkward shade ever.  It's like cornflower meets Sesame Street but sadder.  

If Indigo was castrated, this is the color it would be.

If mold got turnt up, this is the color it would be.

Normally I don't sand shit before I prime it but since this was so shiny I figured I had to.  So I got out my orbital sander and kinda half-assed took off its shiny, smug awkwardness.

Honestly, even though I used a mask this was probably a really dumb and unhealthy thing to do.  When I was done all the dust was sparkly from all the finely-ground shellac and I probably have lung cancer forming as we speak so good job me.

Veep is on in the background and I'm still wearing pajamas because I didn't shower all day.

After I primed and put on one coat things are definitely looking sexy.  The color was kinda hard for me to choose (SHOCKING, I KNOW).  It's not white although the afternoon light makes it look that way.  It's actually a pale grey - not a cold grey favored by cheap chevron prints everywhere but slightly warmer and more sophisticated.  Like cloudy with a chance of elegance.  

I was really drawn to Farrow & Ball's Cornforth White which of course I can't get around here so I found a comparable color at everyone's favorite girl next door, Benjamin Moore, called Collinwood.  Maybe this will help you to see?

I'm almost 110% certain they copied Farrow & Ball's color because those names are both equally jumbled in my mouth in too similar of a way for it to be a coincidence. 

I tried to underexpose this picture a bit so you can see the grey but now it just looks like a shitty picture.  But there's Charlemagne so it's not a total loss.

Despite this terrible picture the color really is amazing - as the sun went down it got cloudier and elegancier and I tried to show a bit of the contrast against my very practical styrofoam floor protectors.  I might have to paint my entire living room this color.  I can't stop staring at it as I type this...

Also, I was so pleased with how my china cabinet in my dining room turned out (remember this?) that I wanted to do an enamel again.  The nightstand is going to get some abuse so I need PERFORMANCE. I ended up using BM's Advanced Enamel paint which I can't recommend highly enough.  

Normally I don't give a flying Purdy fuck about paint types but lemme school ya:  this paint is a water-based alkyd (soap and water cleanup for an enamel) with low VOC and, not to sound like a commercial, exceptional leveling.  Like, after one coat I can't even see the brush strokes.  That second coat is probably going to be panty-creaming awesomeness.  There's nothing I despise more than painting trim but this looks so pretty I might repaint all my trim in this paint. 

However, a quart of each of the paint and primer set me back $50 so fuuuuuuck.  So much for my $3 table remaining cheap but it's way worth it.  This is most certainly not a sponsored plug for BM but this is how much I like this stuff.

Now onto other details that I'm just embarrassingly throwing my money at...

I fell in love with West Elm's agate knobs a few months ago and ordered them sight unseen from the interwebz!  Well low and behold they were kinda underwhelming when I got them in and they were on clearance so I couldn't return them.  I'm an idiot.

They actually look pretty here but in person they are almost clear and kinda milky - just not what the picture was in West Elm.  I'll try to reuse them for something else?  

Anyway, after that crushing reveal I couldn't shake the desire for a mineral-y pull of some kind so in a shopping rush I bought Anthropologie's Druzy Quartz knobs.

Now THESE are absolutely stunning in person and I think they would work really nicely with the nightstand BUT... they were $24 a piece.  OUCH.  The closest Anthro is 1.5 hours away so I just bought them on impulse because it was now or never.  I was also thinking a "splurge" would be a cool high/lo detail for the furniture BUT... I just can't do it.  I'm returning them.

Do you know how big of a REAL geode I can buy for $50??  A really fucking big one!  So I think I'd rather do that instead.

Also, I didn't move the hardware holes so now I'm kinda committed to the OG hardware (or at least that style):

Which looks totally fine and I like it.  They're actually brass but so tarnished they look almost black and I'm fine with it.  My lamp might be brass so I don't want too much shiny.  I can always change it later.

I'm still sad about the Anthro ones but there are some really cool geodes at my local antique mall so I think I need to go visit those to help soothe the sting of disappointment.

Right now I'm waiting on the first coat of paint to cure on the nightstand before I sand then I've got one more coat of paint before I'm done!  And if you're wondering the tray is looking about a million times better.  I'll share the final results of everything later of course.

If you're wondering why this bedroom project is taking so long it's because I spent all my money on plants for my garden this Spring.  I also can't find a lamp for my dresser that I like for $11 because that's all the money I have left to spend on it...  


Oh yeah I also spent money on BEYONCE AND JAY Z TICKETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not ashamed even a little bit!  Ain't tryna hear none of your Elevatorgate shade neither.  

All I'm trying to do is paint some furniture and pick out an outfit for the concert.  In July.

But next week I'm on staycation so I expect my headboard and other things will be given much attention then.

Sauce On The Run!


  1. My favorite sentence: "Well low and behold they were kinda underwhelming..." That encapsulates so much of how I feel about anything I order online and, y'know, life.

    At least Beyonce won't be like that! You should definitely do a post just on the decision making process to choose your outfit. Or maybe just dress Charlemagne up like Bey? Either is acceptable.

    1. I should know by now that unless I can touch, taste, fondle it in person I SHOULD just wait but I'm stupid and impulsive sometimes.

      OUTFIT POST! I never do any of those! Sadly Charlemagne hates it when I try to dress her up which is really sad because I spent HOURS on an exact replica of Beyonce's Partition costumes.

  2. I have this cool corner bookshelf that I got for $10 that is in srs need of a repaint job and I almost feel motivated to start working on it after reading this post. Almost. (Who am I kidding, I will probably die with that bookshelf and its heinous chipped mustard-yellow paint job still in the corner of my house.)

    1. Well I hope you get motivated to do it but if you don't I certainly won't judge you. This nightstand sat in a storage room for about 4 years before I did anything with it. I have things I've carried around probably a decade and still haven't done something with so we're all in this together.