You can just turn off your porch light and dive into your candy head first because your Halloween decorations are all shit.
Everyone was wearing their holiday jorts and I was at the buffet shoving sausage balls into my mouth balancing a skull in my other hand, wearing a dramatic black felt hat and looking like I just walked off the set of AHS Coven: redneck edition.
Adults, man. Sometimes they're the worst.
Next year I vow to have a party and you can ONLY come if you dress up!
Or can carve pumpkins like a boss.
I'll probably be all alone in costume yet again...