This makes me exceedingly happy.

We had a snow day last week and it threw me off so much I can't even form a coherent blog sentence.  Please accept these chairs as evidence.

I've also been busy crafting but nothing I make can ever be this terrifying important.

Margarita Sampson's Infectious Desires via Dark Silence in Suburbia

We're expecting a snownado tomorrow so I'll probably be fucked until 2016 with that mess.  

Stay warm and lucid, saucy friends!

This makes me exceedingly happy.

There is a slim - we're talkin' Spanx on Spanx on Spanx slim - chance I'm going to get to redo my office at work.  I'm trying not to get too excited about forces beyond my control.  If I can't get my day space redone then maybe it's time to get my home office looking legit.  Not that I really use it but I'll FEEL more productive and that's all that really matters.  

Either way, there will be some useless paperclips put into a stylish home sometime soon, gawddammit.  I must corral the office supplies.  Sweet, sweet, useless office supplies...

While looking around for fun office ideas I stumbled across this little desk/nook/bill-paying station and think it's pretty much perfection.  Like Wes Anderson's accountant works here.  The lighting, the reclaimed wood that's not from a pallet, the mix of art and materials, the industrial tape dispenser, the faux (?) marble top...  it's all perfect. Right down to the trash can.  

Funnily enough I HAVE a trash can very similar!  The can itself is brass but maybe it needs some spray paint...?  I dunno, 'live and let live' has always been my philosophy regarding trash receptacles.  

I also have a trophy... because I'm a winner!  (It was an ironic trophy but I'm still a winner because it has my name on it.)  

I'm pretty sure my final space wherever it is won't look anywhere near as cool as this but it's okay.  I have that ironic trophy and that's all that really matters.  

This space is home of owners of Schoolhouse Electric in Portland.  The whole house is great but don't mind me, I'll just be right here making sculptures out of useless paperclips and industrial tape.

Because I'm a winner.

This makes me exceedingly happy.

Unknown source but I would really like to know for obvious reasons...

May you enjoy a robust Thanksgiving or Friendsgiving or normal Thursday that's as glorious as this once great emu.  

Ostrich...?  

FIREPLACE BIRD GOD.

This makes me exceedingly happy.

You can just turn off your porch light and dive into your candy head first because your Halloween decorations are all shit.

here

I've failed a bit at Halloween this year - my front porch has two sad pumpkins on it and nothing else and I haven't even practiced my party eye makeup.  I'm not even really doing a costume because the last time I went to a "costume" party on Halloween I was the only person dressed up which was uncomfortable as fuck.  

Everyone was wearing their holiday jorts and I was at the buffet shoving sausage balls into my mouth balancing a skull in my other hand, wearing a dramatic black felt hat and looking like I just walked off the set of AHS Coven: redneck edition.

Adults, man.  Sometimes they're the worst.

Next year I vow to have a party and you can ONLY come if you dress up!

Or can carve pumpkins like a boss.

I'll probably be all alone in costume yet again...  

This makes me exceedingly happy.

Andy Harman's Owl for Jonathan Adler and Simon Doonan's
Shelter Island vacation home via Dwell

You can stop now.   This piece of macrame cannot be topped.  We've reached the tipping point of the trend and you might as well just burn that acrylic wall-hanging you bought at Goodwill last week because this owl poops that junk out on the regular.

Or you don't have to burn it. I'm very pro fiber-on-the-walls.  I had a few shaggy rag rugs I hung on my walls for years and people thought I was batshit crazy.  I eventually caved to peer pressure (also, I think I found a spider living in there) but I think it might be time to let that sad heap of textiles bump uglies with some sheetrock again.

So carry on with your Snuffleupagus wall art dreams, friends.  Let's craft the hurt away.

This makes me exceedingly happy.

I'm actually busy this week with something I call "progress."  Progress means I've half painted some things in my bedroom, acquired a metric shit ton of beige fabric samples and watched the Lonesome Dove miniseries.  Perhaps *I* am a hermit crab??

Either way, please enjoy these real hermit crabs with their designer homes while I continue to make "progress."

Aki Inomata via Rhumboogie

Things that are making me exceedingly happy but mostly 2 Chainz and Twitter.

Good things are happening around the MS Ranch this week.  Let's review:

-  a big project at work is successfully finished so I've stopped anxiety-scratching my arms til they bleed at night.  Ahhh sweet relief.

-  the excruciating and immobilizing pain I felt all weekend due to my tailbone somehow (looks at Charlemagne) getting popped out of place is now gone thanks to my chiropractor's magic hands of tough love. I can walk again and it is glorious.

-  I ran out of real pasta so I had to crumble lasagna noodles into bite size pieces to make dinner and it actually turned out not gross.

- I saw a cute elephant cuddle.  On the internet.

So...  basically my life has been upgraded from really terrible to just mildly sad and pathetic now.

VICTORY!

Let me share with you some other things that are making me happy lately.  It's the little things, y'all.  Don't ruin this for me.

here

Solitary mason bees (Illuminati bees?!) make larvae nests from flower petals that are so pretty I kinda of want to cry.  We also need to have a discussion about bees soon.  I'm turning into one of those people.

In related color coolness (it's a real thing), I've been looking at these gifs nonstop since July and can't stop.

via This Is Colassal

These are macro shots of oil, ink and soap from Russian designer Ruslan Khasanov.  You should light some candles and grab a towel and watch the full video.

Pacific Light from Ruslan Khasanov on Vimeo.

It's like pure sex.  Throw in some naked people and this is what my dreams look like.

This is what some of my other dreams look like:

Erwin Wurm via But Does It Float

Make of that what you will but it still makes me incredibly happy.

In more celebrity-centric happy Lacy news, 2 Chainz - rapper, big booty lover and 'diffrent' bon vivant - has released a cookbook called #Meal Time on iTunes if you buy the deluxe version of his latest album.  

It looks like The Colbert Report was in charge of graphics.

I haven't bought a full rap album since Dutty Rock because 27 of the 32 tracks on that album were gawddamned skits and I'd had enough.  

But for this?!

via Grubstreet

I might make an exception just for the chainz in the background.  Food bloggers, this is how you do shit up right.

vis Jezebel

You need to enlarge this recipe immediately.

2 Chainz also has other helpful tips like "Put on your Versace apron." and "Call Fergie, invite her to watch a movie on Netflix.  Once she accepts, start making green beans."  I'm not making this up.  Read more here.

In other celebrity news, I think I might be one now because of Twitter.  I recently sent this 140 character gem out into the cloud:

Obviously, comedy gold.  I think I then bantered a bit with @turnageb and @mommyboots about some weird shit (I'm not humiliating them on purpose - just to let you know it takes a village) which resulted in this:

Look, it made sense at the time.  If you're not on Twitter you wouldn't understand.

A very nice person @toddcaton then alerted a Twitter artist @lambchops1  to such fuckery and asked him to draw it because this is a thing that happens on the twitters.

And he did.

You guys.  This is probably the best thing that's ever happened to me and could only be surpassed one day if an actual tiny David Bowie goblin got freaky with my belly bloat.

My favorite part is the accuracy of the face.  Little did I know when I snapped that awkward selfie for my avatar that it would be end up being such a universally applicable expression.

I'm going to keep riding that cartoon-inspired high through the weekend because my birthday is Saturday! I turn 33 which feels like a really good year and a really good number to be.  

Maybe I'll make some recipes from 2 Chainz's (2 Chainz'?) cookbook in hopes of eating enough to summon a goblin to reenact the sketch above.  

Without the feds watching.

This makes me exceedingly happy.

Lara Christina

Next week we're talking about fashion stuffs so here's a quick teaser of the new look I'm going for.  Just replace the puppy with a white kitty and the cute girl with John Goodman and it's perfect.

This makes me exceedingly happy.

I'm not sure what happened but I think we all stepped into a wormhole and now it's three seconds before Christmas.  Motherfucking Mayan magick, y'all.

I'll be back in a few days with lots more about this little guy:

This is Daniel and he makes me squee.  He has friends that are just as glittery and you'll get to meet all of them.

As soon as I finish cooking and addressing all my Christmas cards.  

Ahahaha just kidding I'm only busy eating a lot of burritos.  HOLIDAY BURRITOS.

This makes me exceedingly happy.

Who dat comin up my path?

Here's Charlemagne chillin with some pumpkins on the porch.  I like it when everything matches at the Ranch.  

I'm still balls deep in the Financial Cleanse of 2012 and was pretty stoked about all the extra Benjamins in my bank and then I found myself on the side of the interstate with an overheating car.  Not cool, Saucewagon.  Not cool.

So now I'm expecting to hand over my piles of gold coins that I had been preparing to swim in like Scrooge McDuck.  Thanks for setting me up for failure, Universe.

What I'm saying is... expect a lot more pictures of my cat because I'm too poor to go anywhere.  

Also, I don't have a way to get there...

Even MOAR Instagrammed cat pics on my aptly named tumblr: ModernSauce.  It's 100% porn free unlike the rest of tumblr.  Promise.

This makes me exceedingly happy. And mysterious. And feverish. And aroused.

My post-vacation blogging binge I had planned has been curbed due to an oncoming disease of some kind (possibly a sinus infection, possibly Meningitis of my right kidney) and the fact that much of my free time is now spent at the Parks and Rec tumblr.  

I urge you to spend some time their too while I tend to the Quasimodo-like lumps appearing on my neck and under my arms.  They seem friendly.  I'm hoping lots of buttery toast and aloe juice will help.

Or all the bacon and eggs I have.

This makes me exceedingly happy.

I don't know about y'all but this weekend is really harshing my saucy mellow.  Thanks to NBC's schizophrenic attempts at editing, I've seen 17 hours of beach volleyball in hopes to catch the events I want to watch interspersed within and I still seem to miss them.  I must step into a wormhole on the way to the bathroom and returned 45 minutes later in a parallel universe where the tv schedule lies.  We still dominate beach volleyball in every universe though.


Also, things at the ModSauce Ranch are breaking down: the lawnmower broke after 3 passes around the yard giving my yard a fat mohawk until I could borrow my neighbor's.  The dishwasher spit out a rusty screw today (probably superfluous anyway) and makes a soothing, albeit concerning, grinding noise.  The washing machine only does its denouement spin cycle about 50% of the time and the dryer works but has begun squeaking so loudly it sounds like someone is murdering a sheep in the laundry room.  


Naturally I self-medicated my troubles away by eating shameful amounts of gluten-free, wheat-free, care-free ginger molasses cookies I found in bulk at Big Lots.  Nobody buys the organic stuff there so it's all mine.  It's called HEALTHY EATING, y'all.  The proceeding stomach ache is all mine too.   


All this HEALTHY EATING will probably do wonders for my skin which the 117% humidity is turning into a minefield of impending disaster.  You probably shouldn't yell too loudly in my direction otherwise we might have sonic-induced eruptions.  


After all this obvious tragedy at the Ranch, I needed something to light my soul on fire again.  So here's a snail taking a shower.



It's the best thing I've ever seen.  Like Flashdance but sexier.  Especially at the :23 mark.


I've been blogging for about two decades and I ramble on about all kinds of flotsam and jetsam that surfaces in my brain but I can't remember if we've ever gotten around to my love of snails...  Have we?  Because it's really important to my design psyche.


Also, the health of my soul and possibly yours now.

This makes me exceedingly happy.

via The Rushing

This is the Barcelona Pavilion and it seems to make Carolyn Butterworth exceedingly happy too, whoever the hell she is.


She seems like a lady that really gets me.


Update!  Twitter smartie @MarielaCampo sent the link to this article where the picture was taken from - a paper on "creative" architectural site survey.  See page 132 for a better picture of Carolyn.  I would like to print that picture and take a picture of myself licking it.  Then the internet would explode.  

The Sunday Set inspired by Dr. Bronner's gift of the firecrotch.

To round out this week's unintentional theme, here's an image dump of all my secret hobo hippie dreams so you too can layer on all your best jewelry and spend your Friday twirling like Stevie Nicks.  I'll let you borrow a gauze skirt if yours is in the laundry.  


Obviously that's a self portrait in the first picture...

The New Gypsies from Iain McKell

here

[MS sidebar: if I haven't told you, I have a weakness for '70s landscape photography.  If you ever see a vintage book on ebay about America's amber waves of grain or grizzly mountain shots that a poor man's National Geographic would publish, alert a Madame immediately.]

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here

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real source?

Iain McKell again

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Penabranca

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I think I've officially turned into this lady now:

here

I might actually have that scarf...  I definitely have those earrings.  I do not have that tummy.


But I am going to stop now before these images land me in some expose as an example of white people and cultural misappropriation along with Urban Outfitters and every editorial magazine shoot of the last two years.


Next week I promise no more hippies.  We'll be back to whatever it is that I normally blog about around here.  But for now I TWIRL!