Thursday, December 4, 2014

Into the Woods

Happy start to your Glittermas, friends!  I hope you had a happy, meaty day last week and your bowels are back on schedule.  I had a lovely houseful of guests and pie.  I also accidentally stepped on an earring post and completely pierced my foot with a gold stud and then I slipped and fell in the shower in full shower curtain-grabbing, feet-over-the-head cartoon style.  So like a normal weekend.  Good thing I got that tetanus shot recently.  

I quickly forgot my tortured body because I soaked some frozen peaches from this summer in Fireball and sweet baby Blue Ivy that shit was good.  Put them on ice cream or pie or on a spoon and then into your mouth immediately.

Now the shower bruises are fading, the drunk peaches are gone and I finally froze the rest of the Thanksgiving leftovers so I guess we're fully committed to the celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior, Capitalism, right now.

Just kidding I fucking love Christmas and already have all my presents bought!  Sadly my tree and house aren't even decorated yet because I've been busy this week prepping for a presentation tomorrow.  I'm going to teach a group of local 6th grade girls about design principles!  First I had to teach myself what the principles of design are so this should go great. 

Once I've learned those young, impressionable minds I can get back to the true reason of the season: CRAFTING!  I'm already knocking out my winter bucket list!

My major crafting goal this holiday season is to make a wreath.  
Cute lookbook here
Just like this future selfie I took of my beautiful future self and gorgeous wreath I future made.

Or maybe a swag if I realize I suck at making circles.
Kinfolk via sfgirlbybay
But I'm going to aim high first.

Geomorphic Designs Etsy
Or aim for SLEEPING DEER AND MUSHROOMS SO ADORABLE.  I feel like I would err on the side of zombie Santa Claus over deer but we're just gathering ideas.

Nicole Franzen
This is cute and simple - I think I could fake boxwood for privet?  I have lots of those.  I don't have a cute black door but I'm working on it for Spring.  Christmas 2015 here we come!

But I think I want to go even more natural and foraged straight from the best craft store: the forest.  That way if it looks like shit I'll just say it was on purpose because I'm going for that hipster vibe.

Twine is fine.

This looks super cute and relatively easy.  But why do I feel I'll be crying and trying to make a noose out of floral wire soon?  

This looks like sage and lavender and leather which is amazing and the new name of my desert perfume store and saddlery. 

I also like this look of just throwing together a wreath in an abandoned warehouse.  There's probably a used syringe just waiting for you in there.  Merry Christmas you have a dangerous bloodborne pathogen but isn't the bow nice?!

designlovefest DIY
I most definitely do not have the skills for these but I bet one of you do and you should do it and show me how.

Fox Fodder Farms via Nicole Franzen
I think I want to do something like this - it's wonky and random and looks like it came through the washing machine already.

Last two via Amy Merrick
Put a limp bow on anything and it's immediately hip.  Wire edge ribbon is so fifteen years ago.  You know who likes wire ribbon?  The same people who keep doing these live action musicals on NBC I mean damn.

So limp, wonky and foraged is definitely the hot way to go.  In wreaths and in personalities.  

I'm going to a friend's foresty property this weekend to gather all the limpest and hippest greenery I can find and tame into a round shape.

But if it fails I can always just tie some rosemary together and call it a day.

Wish me luck!  I'll show the hopefully sad and wonky results next week.


  1. You have inspired me, I might make all of my wreaths out of ivy this year. Kill two birds with one stone. And I just bought 5 rolls of wire edged ribbon from the dollar store,sooooo, yeah I'm one of "those" people with a dash of cheap on top. :)

    Merry Glittermas!!

  2. You are always such a scream and sketch!

  3. i made a wreath once (got free clippings from the ground at a tree lot, but i doubt the give that stuff for free anymore; that was 17 yrs ago), and the thing that worked best for me was just some green dental floss.