Monday, November 17, 2014

Squirrels, scarves and squandered time: my winter bucket list!

This summer I created a bucket list to try and make the most of one of my least favorite seasons and guess what?  It worked!  I drained the summer of all its fun times and truthfully felt more "in the moment."  

Turns out that even when I didn't intentionally set out to accomplish certain tasks they kinda worked out for themselves.  This probably has something to do with the 'power of intention' or subconscious something-or-another but I'll take it and not ask questions.

So in light of this roaring sucess, prepare for more seasonal-themed activities in my blogging future.  Like right now...  Here are my plans for this winter.  (It was supposed to be for FALL and Winter but we've already had several below freezing nights so we done passed Fall.)

[MS sidebar: this probably reads pretty boring but I actually do USE it for my own reference.  Blogging - it's like a very public to do list.]

-  Firstly, sneak into Solange's wedding pics DAMMIT THIS LIST IS ALREADY FULL OF FAILURE.

-  Secondly, to ward off the seasonal sads I'm going to BURN ALL THE CANDLES all the time.  Sometimes in December I don't see the sunshine because it rises and sets while I'm at work so to bring light into my miserable existence I'm going to burn a disgusting amount of candles and create the sun on my coffee table.  Confession: I bought a lemon mint candle from the Dollar General store for $5 and it's the best thing I ever did you're all getting one for Christmas.

- Threely, I'm finishing all of my Christmas shopping by the end of November because I want to enjoy the entire holiday month.  My list is complete and I've checked it twice and I'm getting the naughty people better gifts.

-  In this attempt to take December from 0 to 100 I'm going to spend my new non-shopping time doing superfun glitter crafts while watching American Horror Story and eating cheese straight from the block.  

I've got some oranges and cloves and twigs and shit is gonna happen.

-  See every tacky Christmas light show from here to the Mississippi River.  Cry at how beautiful America is.

- I'm going to tackle a fear and bake bread and dessert things like my middle name is Pan-fucking-era. The thing is I'm a terrible baker - I think it's the science of measuring and shit which confounds my tiny brain - but maybe this is the year I turn it around.  Pretzels and loaves and rustic rounds and, hell, maybe this is the time when I'll finally make a decent biscuit!  I will do wonders with flour and yeast!

Finnish pulla (or cardamom) bread
UPDATE: I made my Grandmother's famous yeast rolls that require yeast and kneading and rising and they turned out perfect!  So far so good!  Send me your bread recipes so I can own that shit too!

-  Become best friends with a fat squirrel.

-  I would like to bring my scarf game to the next level.  

If my infinity scarf doesn't come to below my crotch then what are we even doing, J Crew?  I should probably attempt to learn to knit or crochet for myself but let's be reasonable here - I'm better at shopping on etsy.

My scarf lust was partially inspired by Outlander and that corresponding picture hoard grew too large for this post so let's enjoy some 18th century costumes tomorrow.

-  Put a fat squirrel IN an infinity scarf.  Bonus points if I can get him in a little tiny kilt.

-  Maybe I should aim higher and just become the winter version of the White Witch.

-  I might aim for Tilda but I'll land somewhere around a 1980s Zsa Zsa wannabe on tv.  I was profoundly influenced/scarred by Shelley Duvall's Faerie Tale Theatre in the 80's but I think I've worked through the nightmares by now.  Regardless, I have some pretty deep feels about this series and feel like I must watch the Snow Queen again.


This blue glitter motherfucker had a damn acrylic snowflake ipad for chrissakes.  So fantastic.

-  Read more books.  Less Gawker.

- Now that my weekends are free of gardening chores I can devote my spare time to working INside the house.  I want to paint my hallway, repaint and spruce up my bathroom, restyle my china cabinet, sell all the shit I don't want, frame all the art I have and actually HANG it, hang said art gallery-style down my freshly-painted hallway, organize my tools/mudroom, finish up a closet overhaul and lots of other small DIY projects I'll probably get around to actually doing in 2017.  

- Set a nice table.  Maybe for Friendsgiving, maybe just for me and Charlemagne.  Who's to know?

-  I do realize that Winter extends beyond Christmas so I will devote the rest of my post-holiday months to... I don't know, sadly staring out an icy window while drinking myself stupid.

-  Pay.  Off.  My.  Kitchen.  I've been making extra payments for the past year or so on my loans and I'm super close.  I'll do a kitchen update at the celebratory zero balance milestone.

-  I'm stepping up my cozy loungewear game this season too.  No more gross tshirts and ill-fitting Old Navy pajama bottoms with saggy butts.  Everything should look like Olivia Pope just robbed a cashmere leggings store.

-  But also cashmere legwarmers...

- Trying to be better about self care as I say every year.  Make my personal care - food, exercise, sleep - my priority.  Even over blogging.  I know, so dumb.  I'm off to a good start because I just started using the Sleep Cycle app and am loving it.  But then I counteracted the good start by not removing my makeup before I went to bed last night.  Dammit.

-  At the very least all this time stuck inside should allow me some creative time to make some art or work on some calligraphy. 

Surely that's enough to keep me occupied and fantasizing until April, right?

UPDATE:  I forgot about charity!  I want to make charity - whether it's my money or time or both - a bigger part of my winter/life.  And if I write it down for the world to see you can hold me responsible.


  1. What is this Faerie Tale Theatre?! Is it on Netflix? I must see this shit, it looks amazing. My new theme for my house. I'd be happy to get my game to semi-Zsa Zsa. I can't even dream of Tilda. (Well, technically I dream of her all the time sitting in an ice throne in the corner of my bedroom and telling me to add more icicles and zombies, but that's another story...)

    Anyways, yay bucket lists and accomplishments. Scented glitter candles for all!

    1. I found the DVD collection on Amazon but then I googled and it's all on Hulu! I think it's on the DVD part of Netflix but does anyone do that anymore? I highly recommend you watch some of it - so trippy and terrible.

      Tilda is my scary faerie godmother.

  2. Hiya - I love the way you write. I developed a cashmere legwarmer fetish last winter and my husband discovered the Urban Knitta (yup) and gifted me two yummy pairs for Christmas. Not too expensive and I wore the heck out of them. Maybe you will like too?

    1. Hiya - thanks so much! That site looks amazing and I pinned for future shopping! Your husband is a very smart and generous man.

      PS I don't know if it was a typo but I love anony-MOUSE. ; )