Sunday, May 9, 2010

Stepping outside the bitch box.

Based on the life-changing awesomeness of my last post I wanted to be careful to not paint myself into a box of bitchitude.  I'm really like a butterfly you can't contain.  A saucy enigma.  A non-contained butterfly enigma with gossamer wings of glitter and dewdrops floating on the winds of change.  DON'T YOU CONFINE ME TO YOUR BOX GAWDAMMIT!!    

It's just that people make it so damn easy to rip apart their shit.  I mean art.  I mean... stuff.  Whatever.  I have wonderfully funny filthy and saucy opinions on a whole manner of things but I am more than just a judgmental tool for your entertainment!  I have feelings too and enjoy liking things!  Ok there's a lot of bitchy feelings in there but sometimes I like to be positive because it makes my soul glo.  On the inside I'm like the Buddha.  Butterfly outside - Buddha inside.  It's similar to 'inside peanut butter outside jelly' but with more Noble Truths.  (virtual high five if you get that reference without having to click here.  Nobody will - it's just for me really.  sigh...)

I also like liking things* because I'm very easily influenced and being snarky ALL the time quickly spirals into an ever-deeper hole filled with venom, depression and hilarious yet catty comments.  I'm easily swayed just by my own self.  

Just look at this actual conversation transcript:

Madame Sunday: Wow look at that [piece of awesomeness].  Isn't that incredible?!

Self:  I know right?!  Stunning.

Madame Sunday: It's the most glorious thing I've ever seen!  What I wouldn't give to put that in the ModernSauce ranch!

Self: Omigod my heart's on FIRE with how beautiful that [piece of awesomeness] is!!! AAAAAHHHHHH!  

Madame Sunday: But you know I don't really know where to put it and how the hell do you really clean it...?

Self:  Yeah [piece of awesomeness] does seem a little big now that you mention it...

Madame Sunday: And what's that stupid thing on top supposed to be anyway?

Self:  I HOPE YOU DIE AND BURN IN HELL YOU FUCKING [piece of UN-awesomeness]!!!!!!!

See it turns sour so easily.

But when I came across these porcelain pieces by Kate MacDowell I couldn't even convince myself of a reason to not like them!  And being a product of my generation I don't like anything unless there's an animal involved or it's in white.  Double points for anatomical references.  You can imagine my delight when I stumbled across all of them at the SAME.  DAMN.  TIME.

Of course in the comments you are always free to rip apart the things I like.  I welcome dissent!  Let's just not have a mutiny or anything... you know like that old timey book about a mutiny on a ship or something.  I think it ended bad.  I'm not really sure.  I'm also not really sure my readers could take over my blog either but I don't really understand how the internet works so just to be safe I've got my eye on you! 

Her work is about the often deadly relationship between man and nature.  How bout we just splash each piece with a bunch of oil from the Gulf for maximum relevancy.

The birds are my favorites of course, particularly this one.  I want to pet it.  I love touching sculpture because the artist's hands touched it and that tactile sensation feels like part of the piece that I should get to experience too.  But museums get all weird when I rub my face of their marble statues and get all handsy with their bronzes.  WELL FUCK YOU, YOU BUNCH OF ART COCKTEASES!!!  If you didn't want me to touch it you shouldn't have made the velvet rope so easy to jump!  Docent fail.

Yeah I know.  Porcelain.

Ugh - this makes my stomach tight and skin crawl just thinking about it.  Which is awesome.  I'll take a visceral reaction like that over contrived design any day. 

Romulus and Remus.  The tension in that little open mouth drives me wild.

Awwww.  I feel glowy inside too!  I like liking things.


*It has come to my attention that my subconscious totally stole that from a tweet per the hilarious Rich Holschuh of @concretedetail who you should follow.  FYI my subconscious is a little bitch and will probably steal tons of other jokes from people way funnier than me but I can't help it because it's my SUBconscious and all and I don't have any control over it.  Just like I can't get rid of those dirty dreams about Rahm Emanuel, a beef n' cheddar and a tractor that I so desperately want to banish (not really).  DON'T JUDGE ME!!!!! 


  1. Oh jeez. Oh jeez.

    White anatomical creepy constructs: I can see (feel?) why you are all aflutter. Absolute fascinating brilliant WTF craziness.

    And I like liking things too, as you may have noted on May 5th, on Twitter:
    "I like liking. Do you like that? I'm kinda like that. 2:39 PM May 5th via HootSuite"

    And I freakin' like this!

  2. Haha! I don't remember that tweet but I probably read it and then just stole your phrasing without giving you credit. : (

    Liking things is fun! Also if Urban Outfitters would make one of those birds I would totally buy it. Just sayin.

  3. you are so full throttle! Here is a big shocker for you - I don't like looking at these things. I'm not saying that there isn't a relevant message here but looking at these things makes me feel bad - like when I watched 'Mississippi Burning' and I felt ashamed of being white (although I am technically more native american than anglo). So I am going to stick my head in the sand on this one and I'll catch you on the flip side.

  4. That's your white liberal(?) guilt!! I think I'm a freak because I think these are really pretty. I get the toxic undertones but it felt more like a statement that man is living a symbiotic relationship with the environment (duh). Feeding, growth, death, decay are natural. But maybe that cute koala made me forget about the gas mask.

    Note to self: no dead bodies at Halloween because readers are babies.

    VRROOOOOM! (that was me going full throttle...)

  5. These pieces are fantastic. I love it when art kicks me in the teeth. I don't know that I want to get assaulted every time I walk into my living room, but give me a gallery mugging any day.

  6. Yippee I'm not alone. Kinda. I love hearing y'alls thoughts. But I really must be totally desensitized because I see skulls and think "awww it's like Hot Topic. How cute!"

    Also I'm a total badass so there's that.