Sunday, August 12, 2012

America is so trending right now.

Maybe I've finally reached the climax of pastels from this summer because I need to look at some normal colors that come from a color wheel and not ones that are shat out of a Care Bear's candy ass.  Kinda like that million dollar coffee bean that is only made after an Indonesian monkey shits out the undigested beans.  

That's where we get neon peach from, y'all.  Color scienze.

And as much as I hate to admit it I'm kinda drawn to the darling of remedial color theory: blue and red.  
via The Glamourai I think...
I know, I know.  

It probably has something to do with the pride I feel for America winning the Olympics and the fact that I shoot guns now so I'm super into dry-humping bald eagles and shotgunning Mountain Dew and other American shit.  

This video for Of Monsters and Men's Little Talks is trying to hypnotize me:
I also like red and blue with gold because AMERICA WINS ALL THE GOLD!  Maybe I'm a poor loser but if the US of A doesn't lead the medal count in the Olympics I get so fucking pissed off.  This is why the rest of the world hates us/me.  

I forgot where I got these gifs.  Pretty sure it was the internet, though.

Maybe y'all are tired of this video but I see one video a year so SHUT UP!  Also, fireworks!  Because they make me cry.  For America.  And for sparkly things.

Michelle Dockery from Love magazine via Bohemea
Ladies, let's have a makeup party at the MS Ranch and all do this.  I've got some old kabuki makeup (well, it's just baby powder) and the red eyeshadow (who doesn't?!) so you bring the blue hair dids and we'll Instagram the shit out of our drunken makeovers.

Not sure what this is but it looks like donuts and I'm cool with that.

via Sisterwolf
Um, best bellydance belt ever.  I guess we can just start piling our laundry on our heads now...?  I'm down with that.

Joana Salta
Rainbow mini blinds?  I... I... I kinda like it.  *hangs head in shame*

Toast via Solid Frog
Laundry that you could pile on your head if you wanted to.  Just sayin...

Paolo Reversi via Just To Refresh the Mind

Pinterest ate the source. : (
Just a quick shot I took of myself.  I love red and blue so much it makes me toss my hair a lot and pretend to suck my thumb. (?)


Adam Juresko
You know what America also won this past week?  MOTHERFUCKING SPACE, Y'ALL.  If Mars is red and earth is kinda blueish does that still work with my color theme?  Gawddamn I'm really good at this.

Krzysztof Wladyka via MPD

Mogollon via Yatzer

Pegasus by Loredana Gasparotto on Saatchi

 This is starting to get a little orange.  Let's bring it back home...

via The Frisky
Because America.

In unrelated news and in honor of the flaming homo above, I've temporarily renamed my vagina after another homo: Justin Beaver.  I'll probably dye my pubic hair to match the American flag.  It's the most patriotic thing I can think of right now.  

I really commit to a theme.

Now where's my bald eagle??!!


  1. Replies
    1. It's that stuff we had in the 80s, remember?

  2. There's a joke in there somewhere between dyed red, white, and and blue pubic hair and bald eagle, but I can't stop giggling long enough to come up with it.

    1. So you're saying I should go to the spa for some "services" and then rename 'Justin Beaver' to 'Hank, America's #1 Bald Eagle?'

      I guess it could be done.

    2. I think a "bald eagle" is more a below the waist style for the bepenised patriot. The visual just makes more sense.

      You can still totally call it Hank though.

    3. True. Then people could sext like "My bald eagle wants to fly home to your stars 'n stripe-dyed nest" or something like that.

      I may be good with a theme but not so good with sexting...

  3. Here's your bald eagle:

  4. Hi, the cat lady on pic # 11 is from a photography project "Bêtes de mode” between thomas Couderc y Clement Vauchez.

    and pinterest ated source belongs to magazine "Numéro":

    aaaand, picture # 2 & 3 belong to the same video:

    you're welcome

    1. Ok so you just called me out on being a super lazy blogger rather than spending 3 seconds doing a google image search. Which YOU SHOULD HAVE. So thank you. I knew the gifs were from the video I just don't know who made them. I don't know how to make gifs but it seems pretty hard and that person might like recognition. Sorry, gifmaker!!

      Thanks, Romy. FOR EMBARRASSING ME.

      JK. For reals, thanks. ; )

  5. I think you forgot to invite me to your make-up party. I can make it! What time? I'll bring the the flag and some gold chocolate coins that can pass as medals. Such a patriot, I know! (K)

    1. Of course you're invited - everyone on the internet is! I'll give you an extra glass (bottle) of wine just for bringing the gold chocolate coins. Always my favorite stocking stuffer.