Are you my mom, Imperial Tortoise?

As a person that draws pattern all day every day I have a love/hate relationship with graphic prints and textiles and greeting cards and everything in the world that's covered in pattern which is now everything.  Kleenex boxes, the actual facial tissue itself, toothbrushes, kitchen knives, lampshades, strollers, airplanes, whatever, just put a pattern on it and charge more.

Patterns are like family.  I love them enough to be intimately involved with them from inception to completion but after work I don't want to hear, talk, look, smell, fondle or even sense an organized collection of lines anywhere within 50 feet of me.  Like, I love you but don't call me after 5 or on the weekends.  Ever.

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Actually, I spend significantly more time with patterns than my family so analyze that.  I also try to avoid putting something I designed in my own house. If feels very incestuous...

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But sometimes I'm overwhelmed with familial guilt pulled by the siren song of fresh graphics courtesy of ye olde internet and can't resist a picture dump.

Urban Caligraphy

These are probably the opposite of David Hicks/ "Imperial Trellis" which is perfectly fine by me.  Imperial Trellis is the cage where my soul would be trapped inside in hell.

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But I like an Imperial Turtle.  Or Tortoise?!  I'm dumb, I don't know. 

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I tend to be drawn to patterns that look like they've been around for a few thousand years (even if they went through a hipster filter before the tattoo approval process).  It let's me off the hook for trying to reinvent the wheel or something.

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Or I like patterns that look infinite and not like designed at all.   It's visual zen for my overworked eyes and placates my Virgo attention-to-detail.

Guido Macofico

Of course, Mother Nature does some pretty badass designing but she's a pro so I'll let her heavy-handedness pass on occasion.  Aren't triangles and diamonds a little over trend right now anyway, hhmm?  Try reading Refinery29 once in a while, Mother Nature.

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Robert Cartwright

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I also prefer patterns that I could not or would not design.  Not that I'm a super great designer of amazing awesomeness by any means, but everybody has their wheelhouse of tricks.  My tricks include the design equivalent of drunk herky so I guess that leaves me pretty open to y'alls shit.

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And open to skulls and smart backlighting.

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And open to a cartoon bag and gold pants.  When Target knocks them all off, of course.

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I could certainly deal with seeing this type of pattern every day.  I might be inclined to trade some relatives for it.  It could be my new family.

Love me?

(high five if you got the Boogie Nights reference in the title)