Sunday, July 13, 2014

Vroom Vroom Appreciation Post

I hate to perpetuate stereotypes but I readily admit that I'm a ladyperson that cares nothing about motorized things. Blenders, weedeaters, back... "massagers," tractors, scooters, saws, DANGEROUS DANGEROUS SAWS, etc.  I'm a Stone Age girl.  Who lives on computers...? I'm a walking contradiction.

Unless the motorized gadgets are the characters in Brave Little Toaster I'm not interested.  But lately I've been thinking about motorized vehicles a lot.  You know, cars and things.  

Tippi Hedren or me in an alternate universe via The Swinging Sixties
This is partly because my car is over ten years old and I've poured a LOT of money and tears into it this past year.  Enough of both that I've accepted the inevitable and have been researching new cars in anticipation of its tragic demise.  

I really, really hate shopping for cars.

I'm not looking for anything fancy.  Maybe a 1938 Bugatti.
Bugatti 57 SC Atlantic, 1938 via Design Is Fine
Perhaps I'm partly interested lately because I've been seeing these microcars pop up everywhere and I'm DYING.  

Fritz Fend and Valentin Knott, Messerschmitt KabinenrollerKR200 Cabrio, 1961 via Design Is Fine

These are the vehicular equivalent of kitten gifs.  They make strange noises come out of my mouth like *squeep!* and *hhhmeeeeek!*

I generally like my vehicles boring and dependable - no splurges for me.  I don't even have a powerlock keychain.  I cried the first time I encountered a butt warmer.  

Renault 8 Gordini via Cooler Than Before
So I don't have any/some/okay-maybe-a-little desire to buy a tiny cartoon car BUT I most certainly can appreciate driving around Europe in one.  I mean, I'm a real human being with feelings and emotions!

via Cooler Than Before
I'm not sure if I'm ever going to be a car show type of person but I like this vibe.  And in doing "research" (that's what I call Pinterest and Tumblr) for this post I found that the High Museum in Atlanta is having a concept car exhibition through September 7th!  How perfect!  

One of the cars being exhibited is the Stout Scarab - the precursor to the modern minivan and kinda what started today's motor lust.

via Concept Carz

I mean, this little pickup didn't hurt the motor lust either but I can appreciate all kinds.

1963 Bambi Pickup Sporty via Loudpop

Upon further reflection, the only video games I ever played with obsession were Mariokart and Adventure Beetle Racing and I really love all the terrible Transporter movies so maybe I DO have a latent car person inside me??  

I lurve taking road trips, though.  That probably makes more sense than Mariokart influencing my vehicular fantasies.

However, if I was to actually talk to a car person I would probably fall asleep before they finished saying 'Top Gear.'  They'd have to lure me into car talk by describing our 3-day weekend and the country roads we'd take and how many cute instagrams I'll get and the gas station food we'd eat and how cute I'd look in the [insert car name here].  It's all about the visuals for me.
Bruce Davidson, 1964 via Honey Rider
I'm trying to avoid the whole "Cars = penises therefore women next to cars = hot" nonsense equation for dummies but I will admit that I love some ladies with cars.  

There's probably something in there for me about liberation and taking charge Thelma and Louise-style but it might just be cuz they're cute.  I'm very pro- retro dresses and lipstick and sunglasses.  Perhaps it's not so much a motor lust as it is vanity and the desire to shop for accessories?
Volpe or Alca by Aero-Caproni, 1947 via Design Is Fine

But I think we can all agree that I would look adorable sitting in this cutie up to my ears in petticoats and a headscarf trailing behind me in the wind.

OMGLOLJK I'll look like Mr. Incredible.

My next car will of course be a nice sensible shade of "Gotta look at this another ten years so better not get too outrageous" but maybe a different color wouldn't be so terrible...?  LIKE BALLET PINK?

Messerschmitt via Fine Cars

Red is very classic and I could get lipstick to match.

1957 Ferrari 410 Superamerica Scaglietti Coupe via Edduped
Oh wait, isn't insurance higher for red cars?  Welp, already put that daydream to rest.

1957-64 Scootacar Standard via BBC
Is this a car or a gumdrop?

1965 Cadillac Coup de Ville by Gene Laurents via Skorver1
Me, washing my car.  In a mink coat.

Throughout my internet travels (see what I did there?) one little car kept coming up for me - the BMW Isetta:

1957 BMW Isetta 300 via Loudpop
It comes in a range of colors and patterns and I'd like one of each of them, please.
1956 BMW Isetta "Bubble Window" Cabrio via Cooler Than Before
This one has a green plaid interior which is perfect for the picnic they're going on as indicated by the basket on the back.  This is my picnic car.  I'll also need a car for the beach, the county fair, the mountain cabin, the grocery store, going to Redbox, getting ice cream, etc.

BMW Isetta Standard, 1955 via Design Is Fine
Here's a picture of a family preparing themselves for their own decapitation and bloody deaths.  I found this video of a guy showing us around a restored Isetta and driving it around and it is both insanely adorable and completely terrifying. 
BMW Isetta Pickup, 1961 via Design Is Fine
Still want it.

lost link, pin here
*squithud*  That's the sound of my heart jumping out of my chest and rolling under the couch picking up cat hair along the way.

BMW 600 via Chromjuwelen
Y'all, this is the Isetta LIMO.  A microcar "limousine."  I think I'm starting to hyperventilate.

BMW Isetta police car via Iain Claridge
A police car.  Yep, I'm done.  I can't breathe, my heart's under the couch and I just peed all over my rug.  

I wish I could at least own the McDonald's Happy Meal toy version of these and collect them all!

I couldn't put every cute car/gumdrop I found in this post but feel free to follow my brand new car Pinterest board I just started five minutes ago which already is better than the images on this post.  Other fun places I found include the car section of Design Is Fine (a great design tumblr regardless), a quick overview of micro- and bubble cars here and Dr. Smooth Death's Instagram always has great car 'grams. 

Most of these images came from the 2013 RM Auction of the Bruce Weiner Microcar Museum which you can see here.  Good thing I sourced each individual image above...  Jesus...  Good lesson in finding the OG source BEFORE you start a post, Madame Lacy Sauce.  Most cars sold for under $50k so....  you don't actually have to be a millionaire to own one.  Just a thousandaire.

Now, I can't get me a little Fiat for my next car as I drive over 60 miles a day on the interstate and I want to live.  So I'll be fine with my very sensible, tiny hybrid SUV or something.  

But I'll make sure it's road trip and squee compatible.

UPDATE! And look what I found:

A collection of Isetta toys!  They went for $345 so... you know... *points to December 25th on the calendar*

UPDATE #2: The Microcar Museum where all the auction cars came from is actually outside Atlanta.  Whoop!  They aren't open again until Fall 2014 (I guess they sold their inventory??) but I suspect an ACTUAL road trip in my old, boring car in the near future.

UPDATE #3:  Been seeing a lot of vintage 70's Chevy trucks with giant, rap star chrome rims in my neighborhood and I'm not gonna lie... I rather like it.  Maybe that can be my "lookin' sharp while hauling things to the dump" vehicle.  


  1. Me, reading this post: I wonder if she's seen the Stout Scar-- yep. There it is.

    You can drive around in a Scarab, and a lot of other cars, in the video game L.A. Noire.

    1. Uh oh... guess I better be getting some new video games..

  2. MS, I'm a little surprised that you neglected to mention that the BMW Isetta is the official car of Mr. Steve Urkel!
    Sold yet?

    1. UM WHAT OMG THAT'S THE CUTEST! Perhaps it set deep in my psyche somewhere and only resurfaced now! Thank you for that gem!

      I think the only questions that I still have are 1. What does Stefan drive? and 2. How soon can I start rewatching ALL of Family Matters?

  3. I need one of those BMW Isettas, even though I could probably only fit the lower third of my body in one. Don't care, still want.

    1. I'm not sure my entire butt could fit in one either... Don't care, still want.


    Okay, that took a turn but they are so adorable I just want to squeeze them until they explode in a shower of fairy dust. I don't believe humans fit into them. I think they are the Disney princess of cars and you magically shrink to fit the closer you get to them. Maybe that makes the fairy godmothers of cars? Whatever.

    1. My reaction exactly. I want it to rain tiny cars!

      I think you're right, you have to take a pill - one makes you smaller, one makes you larger - before entering and exiting the "cars."

      I need a fairy godmother of cars!!!!