Christmas for all the grown women out there.

A mid-week holiday was so incredibly rude of the baby jeezus.  So I've still been celebrating through this past weekend and probably for another two weeks if I'm being honest.  Just gonna slowly close those curtains so my neighbors don't see my tree lights and keep on reading your holiday posts and pinning stuff for next year.  

I may even do some more crafts if I get a wild hair.  2014 will start off with a bang.  

Of glitter and yarn.

While I'm attempting to craft and binge watching old episodes of Buffy, here's a dump of what Christmas at the Ranch looked like this year.

There was a lot of twine and fuzzy things, just sayin.

And things that RAWR.

My local nursery.

Pretty much what my coffee table looks like all the time.  Open chocolate, tea, snakes and random shiny things.

For anyone who's wondering, Charlemagne could care less about the tree.  She has plenty outside that are much more exciting because critters live in them.  This one is only home to sparkle and pointy things.

Exhibit A:

Faux bois forever.

RED faux bois with gold coin bow.  This present was a square bellydancer.  It was my favorite.

There is never a rhyme or reason to mantle decoration - I just try to throw as much shit on there as humanly possible.  More is more for the holidays.  

Also, my life.

Forget crafting pom poms, Pinterest.  I found this great yarn at a junk store which I can't wait to use next year.  Or make a toy for Charlemagne.

Just kidding, she's too cool for toys.

I don't know what's going on here but it feels festive over on the sideboard.  I'm pretending that old cowboy is like a country Santa during the Great Depression and all the shit in front was collected from a cool person's trash pile.  It works in my head.

 I did manage to see a few lights this year which is my favorite thing to do.  The tackier the better.  These were from the Enchanted Garden at Rock City for you local people.  

Last year I made sriracha salt for gift and that went over really well so I kept with the spicy theme and made sriracha chex mix.  I know we're supposed to hate sriracha because it's too trendy but this is a small town and people still don't know how to pronounce it so I'm considered a gourmet chef.  I'll never do anything to jeopardize such a status.  Next year everyone's getting kale and they'll love it.

Also made some bacon jam since it was a hit earlier this year.  Meat paste is always a good gift.

A lot more people got meat paste this year because I had to scale back some of my holiday plans.  In mid December my car decided it needed several thousand dollars worth of repairs so there went your Christmas present.  If you were expecting a gift but didn't receive it I probably had to return it so I could get my vehicle back.  I'm sure you understand.

But all was soon forgotten because BEYONCE. 

Here

Fuck Dean Martin.  This is the only shit playing in my house this year.  What was holiday decorating just became a shrine and I'm totally okay with that.

Beyonce, Her Holiness of Glitter and Fatties, is of course my true shining star for the holiday season (and life) but shit got real this month.  Like, I cried. 

here

And then saw this moment and lost my damn mind.  

Now I do this every morning:

I spent my entire Christmas break reading black feminists and that was the best gift I could have gotten.  If you don't get it or understand why there's a fuss maybe start here.  Shout out to my girls @SoRefined and Fit and Feminist for being my support group during this glorious time.

Santa Claus who?  

here

Hope you had a holiday filled with as much joy as Beyonce has while dancing on a beach.

See y'all in 2014.  The year in which I take my cult Beyonce love to dangerous new heights.

And maybe even more dinosaurs.