Ever since the ModernSauce undercover investigation team (it’s just Charlemagne in a saucy wig and a tiny Carmen Sandiego trench coat) discovered the real reason behind Pantone’s color of the year I thought it was only appropriate to flesh out this story in the interest of my boredom journalistic integrity. Madame Sunday is nothing if not drunk fair and balanced. We discussed green as the representative shade for liberals but I think we need to look at some hard evidence because it’s been a rough year since that senator from Illinois took office and we all need a little reminder that we are all in this together. The color of our movement has finally made it to the most powerful position in the world and there is nothing we can't accomplish. We will not let the tyranny of Turquoise hold us back from our dreams of a nation filled with hybrid cars driven by same sex married couples!
Just look at Keith Olbermann here who is known for such subtlety on tv living in a house that practically screams for green. I bet he's IM-ing Rachel Maddow about his organic cotton cargo shorts. Can we get them in colors to match his siding? Yes we can.
A dark olive Anderson? Can we finally see him for his true self and accept him no matter which way his political staff swings? Yes we can.
That chartreuse wall behind Leonardo is so blatantly saying "yes we can" but his eyes are saying "go fuck yourselves you racist pigs." Once you go green then you're always clean.
Alec Baldwin is so liberal he doesn't even need to wear clothes to show you how green he is. We will use the raw sex appeal of this shirtless man beast to distract Sarah Palin from her 2012 campaign.
The FLOTUS is not ashamed of her beliefs and proudly wears them on her sleeves - or just her bare arms. Fashion conservatives be damned.
Here's a smattering of images at the White House last spring. Obama is breaking down barriers and I think for the first time this millennium green will have its place in the executive office. Even the water at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave has joined us in solidarity. Yes we can.
Soon we're going to live in a post-Turquoise world and it'll look something like this:
Spring 2010 collection from Day via Trendey Well... that's beautiful but it kinda looks like we just exited the yellow-brick road. I think realistically we'll live in a melting pot because green looks good with everything and liberals are accepting of all colors, creeds, religious, etc. etc. Except if you're Glenn Beck. I really don't want to be accepting of him.
But what can the rest of us oppressed citizens do to stand up for our cause? Although we lack the power of fame and fortune we will NOT be shackled down by the tyranny of forced color palettes. We will design our living spaces to reflect who we are and shamelessly use green to reflect our fresh attitudes and the harmony we feel towards our brethren and country. We will pair it with shades of orange, spice and sunshine because it's warm and delicious and frankly it's better than this.
But this is real nice. Real nice...
Can we use it in a Modern Country setting too? Yes we can.
Vintage couches and lazy afternoon naps? Yes we can.
source? sorry!
We will sit in our olive-painted offices at wonderfully distressed desks surrounded by carefully curated accessories and write letters to our senators and let them know that it is NOT okay to pose naked in Cosmopolitan even if it was the 80's and you were probably coked out. Yes we can.
We need to fight for the gift that is our environment and all the bounty that she provides (like the ranunculus) and demand our leaders continue to strive for cleaner energy sources and the hiring of talented florists and photographers to capture the splendor of those accomplishments. Yes we can.
The audacity of combining that gilt trim and wallpaper? Hell fucking YES we can.
source? sorry!
When we lay our heads down at night we will know that we are safe from Turquoise terrorists and the kind of people that want to see an end to our way of life. We will buy monogrammed sheets and Hollywood Regency chinoiserie accents because we will not let them win.
A change is gonna come. I can feel it. Lift your voices and paintbrushes high unto those mountains and declare the truth that we will pick trends and forecast colors because our country needs a palette emphasizing renewal and growth and warmth like a summer field after a thunderstorm. And when times have us struggling we don't need an "effective escape from the everyday troubles of the world" as Pantone believes (I'm pretty sure living in a fantasy land nobody could afford is how we got into this mess you assholes). What our country needs is a big fat dose of dirty, earthy, loamy reality because guess what grows out of the blackened mud that was our last year? Beautiful green things that are delicious to the eye and also a promising future. That budding promise is a reminder that no matter how dark our soil (substitute 'soul' here too if you want) we are part of a larger living organism and that with a fresh start (and a color wheel) we will always overcome. Yes we can!
Maybe with a little help from Benjamin Moore...
*ModSauce note - it helps if you read parts of that in your best campaign Obama voice... Or your Jesse Jackson voice. I know you have one.
