Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Go green if you hate America.

Ever since Pantone announced its prophesy of color for 2010 it just hasn't sat right with me (go here for a Turquoise orgy).  I figured that maybe I was pissy because I didn't think of it first because that's usually the case.  ME FIRST BITCHES!!!!!!  I mean I like turquoise and have actually been developing a color palette for my living room with turquoise accents (not anymore!) but I somehow thought Pantone would be smarter than me.  I was wrong.  Madame Sunday is in fact smarter than Pantone.  I started doing a little research and take a look at the last decade of colors from Pantone.

Does this feel like your last ten years?  Cerulean Blue was announced as the color of the millenium.  We're barely ten years in and I wish they had been referring to the last millenium.  (don't be fooled by 2008 - I'm looking at the swatch at my desk right now and it's electric purple.  Shitty computer colors...)

And it looks like Blue Turquoise was the color of the year for 2005.  Really Pantone?  REALLY?  Have you lost all of your swatches except for the aquas?  It's not that Turquoise was that bad it's just that it's SOOOOO  BORING!!!!   When you take a look at all the colors lined up for this decade don't you think that they've missed the mark a little?  What happened to colors like charcoal, chocolate, plum, navy or THE color of the decade (as a noun and a verb) GREEN??  I mean I'm so sick of green that if someone says they are going to "go green" I will probably involuntarily vomit and pee all over them but green was pretty hot five years ago.  Discriminatory fuckers.   I think the only logical explanation is that Pantone is actually a front for a conservative lobby group that wants to take down liberals using subliminal messages,brand marketing and color forecasting.  "Going green" is of course part of the liberal agenda so conservatives are using blue and other Pantone specified colors to establish themselves in the inner psyche of Americans.  I mean think about it... "O beautiful for spacious skies" = Aqua Sky.  "Purple mountains majesty" = Blue Iris.  "Amber waves of grain" = Mimosa.  "Thine alabaster cities gleam" = Sand Dollar (yes it's in the song I looked it up asshole).   "Sea to shining sea" = TURQUOISE!!!!!

Also it's a made-up well-known fact that blue dyes are made from petroleum so more blue = more oil = more money for oil tycoons and Blackwater.   Green dyes are made of hemp and recycled dreadlocks shorn from the heads of white hippies. 

Just look at all this overwhelming evidence that I'm 100% retarded right!

You're absolutely SWIMMING in turquoise there Rick Warren.  Overcompensate much?  Are you a liberal in disguise or just a homo in disguise?

Nice try Anderson - we know which side you're really on.

So what's the color of those anti-god elite liberals?  I'm going to go with Keith Olbermann Green.  It's a little more vibrant than the Rachel Maddow Sage and has a nice punch.

Naturally green is the color of Al Gore and anarchy.   It looks really good with pink too.

I rest my case.


  1. Just thought I'd let you know that I have a Johnny Rotten autographed book "Never Mind the Bollocks". My roomate from college got it for me because my nickname in college was "Bob Rotten".

    Just sayin..

  2. Was "Bob Rotten" in honor of rowdy behavior or because of ironic lack of rowdy behavior?

    But either way that's still pretty awesome. ; )

  3. I might argue it's the opposite... wait, I mean YES! It's totally clever! Thank you for noticing!