Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Community Craft College: Like regular college but with more popsicle sticks and crying.

There's only so much inspirational images you can look at before you reach maximum interior porn saturation without having to actually do something to alleviate your frustration.  Which is to say I've been feeling - *gulp* - crafty lately.  I KNOW!  I know.

But now I have an actual sewing machine.  In my possession.  

I haven't sewn anything since I was 14 when I used to alter my clothes (for the worse).  I don't know why I did considering everything I wore back then came from the men's department of the thrift store but I guess I wanted to appear even more awkward and unattractive than my dark lip liner and poser attitude made me.

I think there's a bobbin involved but I don't remember.  Sigh...

via The House Home  
I better learn myself good because I have a lot of fun fabric that needs to be made into a comfortably eclectic pillow assemblage like this picture above.  By 'comfortably eclectic pillow assemblage' I mean pile of lumpy fabric with wonky seams.  

I wish I could DIY everything else in that room but I should start small.  And go light on the ric rac.

via Luxe Source
I might even paint some artiness too!  I have less painting experience than sewing experience but I'm hoping all that angst surrounding my weirdo men's clothes phase will burst forth from my brush into glorious rivers of color that will touch your soul.  SHUT UP IT COULD HAPPEN!  Maybe it'll even be red.  I don't know, I'm talking crazy here.  Even that bust is looking at me like WTF?

via Head Over Heels
Maybe I'll just stick to something big and blue and abstract.  Or maybe I'll just sit and drool over the rest of this room because gawddamn.  Learning how to paint something that big will take a lot of time in addition to all my pillow-making.  It's gonna be a busy winter.  I don't even know how I'm going to make time for all the refrigerator styling I have planned.  (MS sidebar: I hate glass dining room tables.  I always feel like I'm having everyone else's crotch for dinner.  It'll be kinda weird when I have to unbutton my (totally not men's) pants for the second serving of lasagna too.)

via Elle Interiors
I'm not crafting anything from this room but I just like it.  It's sparkle city up in the ModSauce hizzy right now - there's glitter and Christmas shine crammed errywhere there is a free corner.  This simple open space seems like such a nice summer novelty right now.  I give two thumbs up for the bombe chest next to the Malm.  I assume it's Malm but I don't really care if it's not.  I'm thoroughly distracted by the goldiness.

Hhmm... could I craft something with more goldiness??

via somewhere on Because I'm Addicted
This doesn't inspire me to craft something but I just love everything about this ferociously masculine room and want to share it with you.  Except the coffee table.  Maybe some masculine people need a tiny table to place their delicate demitasse cups and watercress sandwiches but I need a giant coffee table.  For large important lady business.  

A Thanksgiving guest actually commented that my coffee table is the perfect size table for 'grudge fucking.'  I was going to say it's the perfect size for intense crafting projects like sewing wonky pillows but I obviously need to open my mind up to other possibilities. 

Unfortunately, I hold grudges with about as much skill as sewing straight seams.   I should work on that skill as part of my winter continuing education program here at the ModSauce Ranch Community College because grudge fucking sounds way more satisfying than fucking up pillows and canvases.   

If I earn a grudge-fucking credit I probably won't tell you about it.  But be prepared for all my sad art and pillows to be featured IN DEPTH!  

You know you want it.


  1. "I always feel like I'm having everyone else's crotch for dinner."

    This image will now successfully stay with me forever and ever, and for that I think I am thanking you. In fact, yes, I am thanking you.


    Thanks for stopping by, Autumn. You made my day. ; )

  3. You are right when you say you know we want it. So send it already! Need my address? Just don't let it go public or the restraining order gets violated. As ever, you make me snortle - a step up from spewing milk out my nose, yet still a full commitment of ha aha haa haa Kymberly

  4. I'll take snortle any day of the week. It's probably better than grudge fucking. So I've heard...

  5. Your machine isn't one of those pocket sized plastic doodads that they used to sell on TV in the '70s is it?


  6. You mean like one of these??

    Ahahaha! No - it's a real machine. Nothing fancy but it should get the job done as soon as I oil it up and remember what the hell I'm doing.