Monday, April 30, 2012

This makes me exceedingly happy.

Here. From The Design Traveller's pretty awesome tumblr.
This room and I are having a moment.  A dirty moment.  Right in front of an open window because we're nazty freaks like that.  Feel free to watch because this room is full of so much sex that it should be shared with as many people as possible.

Look for as long as you want too because I'm light on the posting the past few days.  I got some new glasses and the minute differences in prescription from old glasses and current contacts makes my eyeballs hurt so I've been eating a lot of cornbread and ice cream (Not together. Although...) in hopes to get rid of the headache I get every time I look at the computer screen.  

So now I have a headache and a stomach ache.  I think I better move on to nachos to try something different.  Maybe I'll eat them in front of a window because I'm a nazty nacho freak too.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

I support gay marriage by boycotting shitty outdoor furniture.

So now that we're all properly filled with jealous shame rage inspired by last post's patio roundup, let's focus on my own little concrete slab of mediocrity.

Ok well I forgot to get a picture of it for you because I've been busy controlling my rage over Perfect Patio People.  But I can tell you it's a completely covered patio that's about 8 feet wide and a jizzillion feet long.  You can kinda get an idea of the space here during my kitchen party except in real life there's usually nothing there.

It's sad.  Rull sad. 

What's even sadder is the the thought of spending $1000 on an outdoor sofa when my upholstered one in my living room cost way less.  Nevermind the fact that all outdoor furniture comes in matching families that you can't even break up and then are forced to spend even more on shit that you don't really like in the first place.  

Guess what, manufacturers?  Not every person likes plastic rattan and families come in all different forms, assholes.  Obviously the outdoor furniture industry is a front for "traditional family values" and I refuse to support that bunch of bullshit.

Besides, I don't have that kind of money on plastic families of any description and don't even want to spend that kind of money on outdoor furniture on principle - it feels like a ripoff (and the whole conservative agenda thing).  I've been perfectly happy to sit on my soapbox on my patio up until now.

MY agenda has been to scour the tri-state area's best thrift stores and junk palaces to create my own mismatched family of misfits and spend about $500 which will turn into $700 (ok 750).  I'm ridonkulously cheap so typing that number makes my lady balls sweat but if I saw someone on HGTV say that was their budget I'd probably laugh at their ignorance.  But I'm ignorantly confident it can be done.  We all have to make some sacrifices though.  No diamond birdbath for you, Charlemagne.

So here's what the patio of the Ranch will somewhat resemble in just a few short weeks:

Click to make bigger if you so desire.
You're all invited for virtual wine and debauchery!  Let's break it down:

1. Yes, my house is mint green.  Deal with it.  Thank gawd mint is having a season right now which doesn't make this look quite as fucked up as it would have two years ago.  I am not a mint fan unless it comes in a mojito.

2. I have already bought a bench that looks almost identical to this picture.  It's 72 inches of warm teak wood and the best dollar-to-ass ratio I could find.  At $200 it seats more people than those flimsy and ubiquitous loveseats.  (I got it at Southeastern Salvage for all you local people.)  It does need cushions to protect my guests' tender backsides (and for Charlemagne naps) but I'll still come out cheaper.  High five to me!

3. Some things I got for free which is kinda like cheating my budget but you'd do the same thing.  The rug pictured isn't my exact rug but it's really close and someone gave it to me so therefore I must use it.  I've also got my eye on a coffee table that's similar to the one pictured that will also be free if I can work some magic.  Or I'll steal it.  We'll call it a crime of patio passion.

4.I picked up some ghetto planters from a juuunk store recently for a song and a bat of my eyelashes (which is equal to roughly $10).  I think I want to go back and get more because there's something about some brass planters that probably had a plastic tree in it and lived in a bank for 25 years really touches my heart.  I have a smattering of black and grey planters too.  No idea what kind of plants I can put onto a covered patio that gets only indirect sunlight but that's where you people come in: any ideas on shade-only plants you are contractually obligated to tell me.  It's in the blog by laws.  

So the main pieces are falling into place: mint house, grey concrete, teak bench, brown and white rug, shiny brass things and black things.  See some of the real items here.

I typed a lot since you saw it last. Here it is again.
On the list of things I need to purchase is accent seating.  I like the IKEA Vago chairs but they are rather large if I remember and will most likely be out of stock by the time I get around to making a purchase because making a mood board is not like Jumanji - your items don't just fall into the next room along with a stampede of elephants.  

I'm on the hunt for pillows and am rather partial to that floral set up there.  They are feeding my desire for ugly '90s floral right now.  You know what would look really good with '90s florals?  Motherfuckin hunter green, y'all.  Maybe even spruce green.  Yeah, I said it - spruce.  It's gonna look hot next to the mint - don't even trip.  Someone on twitter suggested marigold which at first made me feel yucky on the inside but then I put a yellow pillow up there and I squeed my panties a bit.  It really makes the brass sing extra loudly which is really the only way brass should be allowed to sing.

I also need to get cafe string lights because YOU CANNOT HAVE A PATIO WITHOUT CAFE LIGHTS RIGHT NOW.  Otherwise Pinterest will explode!  

I'll finish everything off with some wicker side tables maybe painted white or MOTHERFUCKIN HUNTER GREEN, maybe some basket-y things and a capiz shell something for "global" (barf) charm, a hammock for napping and some candles.  Fucking candles everywhere.  Backyard oasis of wine and debauchery and alter sacrifices.

Of course I won't forget the giant painting of a butterfly or a seashell. No outdoor space is complete without a 2D representation of the space you're presently occupying.

It's also not complete with a brass bucket full of my new favorite cocktail: boxed red wine mixed with Sprite.  


Don't forget to put your favorite shade plants in the comments. And any other comments and suggestions about what to do - all I'm going on is a wing, a prayer and a can of spray paint.

And a large mason jar filled with wine/Sprite.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

These pretty patios put me into a jealous shame rage.

Every year about this time I have a post about how much I'd really like to make my patio look nice because I have ZERO furniture out there other than a lonely camp chair that even Charlemagne won't sit in and then I curse the gawds for being such meanies to me and then never do anything about it.  

But THIS YEAR is different because I invited a bunch of people over specifically for a patio party before I had even a stitch of furniture out there to force me into forking over the dozens and dozens of dollars I will spend to make it look nice.  I'm really good with reverse psychologizing myself.

This way I'll be risking the embarrassment of having my friends sitting on cardboard boxes outside if I'm unprepared (read: too cheap).  I mean, they're my friends and we've totally done that in the past but that was like, a whole TWO MONTHS ago and I've grown since then.

I've also been spending a good amount of time in the yard this year I want us to celebrate the fruits of all my labor.  By 'fruit' I mean 'new plants I'm slowing killing' and that wonky pathway I made out of stolen stones.  Ahhh... my little oasis.

So let's look at some dream patio and porch situations and get inspired by nature.  By sitting inside looking at a computer.

I'm kinda drunk right now so I'm just linking to the pin where I got these. Sorry, people.  It was a good book club tonight.
That's a super nice place.  My patio will probably look nothing like that.  I hate the people who live there because they are not me.

But I hate these people more with their gorgeous giant table of awesomeness.  I bet they're European.  Fuckers.

These people are just showing off.  I'm hoping my basil lives another two weeks.  I hope a cat pisses in all of those pots.  REPEATEDLY.

I would like to strangle these inhabitants with the adorably fringed tablecloth until they puke out whatever scrumptious cocktails are in those glasses.  

It's so pretty I hope your cat gets run over.  Just kidding.  I meant your toddler.

You think you're sooo smart with your really genius IKEA fruit bowl hack, don't you?!  Well I'm here to tell you that you are so damn smart it makes me want to feed you Lingonberry sauce until your stomach explodes just like in that move Se7en.  (which I totally spelled 7even the first time because that's how I'd totally misspell it.)

It's actually surprisingly hard to find good sources of inspiration for outdoor living and landscape porn.  Apparently, interior design blogs are a dime a dozen but there's not an equivalent for exterior spaces.  Where's the Design*Sponge of patios?  Because that's where I need to be.

Hating people and stealing their awesome ideas...
Like that really great dark burgundy lounger and coordinating pillows.  I wish an acid fog would come and eat the skin off of your dog.  (Guess what book I just finished, ladies?!)

Just go fuck yourself sideways underneath dappled shadows with a beautiful outdoor lantern.  

ANALLY.  While your dog watches, you filthy pervert with chairs I might end up purchasing...

Wow, she looks like a really nice person with a great house and a beautiful yard and it's too bad I'm going to have to set fire to it all like Adele after a breakup.


After seeing your stunning little corner that I'll never have and am actually really excited and inspired by, I hope a Dalek puts its filthy plunger on your face and sucks out your soul or whatever the hell it does with a gawddamn alien plunger?!

I hope a band of rabid coyotes comes through that sumptuous backyard jungle and rips open your arteries and your good-taste having, creative blood pours all over those nice textiles and it STAINS and doesn't come out no matter how many times you wash it.  Yeah, stains.

This image dump in no way inspired me and I'm certainly not making a mood board for my patio right now that I'll show you next time.  

*shakes head in jealous rage shame*

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Madame Sunday comparison shops...

So I'm casually flipping through a Chiasso catalog the other day (it wasn't mine, I swear, officer!) and ran across a bullet planter:

Got its name because it was originally designed to store bullets during wartime. True story. (not)
Since Chiasso is like the kings of chromey knockoffs, I was surprised to find their planter was $188. My general understanding was that knockoffs were supposed to be cheaper versions of better designs for all us poor trashy people... was the original planter made of diamond fiberglass farmed from the Fortress of Solitude and I didn't know?! 

So I did some research - aka, I went to DWR to look at their bullet planters because odds are they are definitely carrying the goods.
Yep. same one.
And they are.  And it's $165.  DA FUCK?  

My eyes must be deceiving me because that's some crazy shit.  Thanks to DWR's blurb - because I can't really be bothered to wiki right now because I'm watching more Doctor Who - I learned that the original bullet planter design from the 50s wasn't able to be trademarked because the original designer was never known. Several companies ended up manufacturing them previously and it looks like it's the same situation now.

And DWR is the CHEAPER version.  I think the Modern world as we know it just spun out of control.  Kinda wish the globe sat on a giant bullet planter stand to keep us upright in situations just like this.

But wait, dear friends!  I did spend 3 additional seconds googling for your edutainment and found that you can get one from Pastence for $155 if you MUST have one and are desperate to save $10.  

I would rather someone slap me repeatedly in my vagina than pay that much money for a planter but maybe if you're the Donald Trump of Modern design or only have room in your life for a single, solitary planter and this one makes your heart tingle, then by all means buy yourself one.  For $155.

OR you could do like me and be awesome and rescue a bullet's cooler cousin from a junk store for $20:

This one not intended for bullets.  Ninja throwing stars probably though.
It's brassy and the ceramic planter is ruffled AND glazed with this saucy metallic spatter at the top which is like a little peek-a-boo behind my Pothos leaves.  A plant that I haven't killed yet.  I'm proud not only of my thrifting prowess but also my super neon green thumb.  

So what have we recently learned other than I can eat half a pan of brownies in 23 hours?  We learned that at least bullet planters are somewhat consistently overpriced according to me and that you should not, under any circumstances, buy something from Chiasso without shopping around and maybe slapping yourself in the vagina a few times first. 

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

If I had a band I would definitely write a song about zucchini butter.

In case you need a Brutalism break (WHY WOULD YOU??!), let's talk a walk on the gentler side of the sauce.  This side has butter and carbs and 100% concrete free.  But you could eat it NEAR a Brutalist building if that would help... Just sayin.

found on Design Blahg's Pinterest, originally on The Kitchn by Jennie Cooks
I found this recipe for zucchini butter on Pinterest, of course, because I'm not sure the internet exists outside of my boards anymore.  It caught my eye for several reasons #1 - I like to spread things on bread.  #2 - it has zucchini in it and I love zucchini.  #3 - it's "butter" so MOTHERFUCKIN DUH.

It's so easy even a lazy Madame can do it and would be awesome to use at the end of summer if you have tons of leftover zucchini from a garden.  I don't have that kind of garden but I've heard other people apparently grow things like that.  From the ground.  So weird...

The hardest thing you have to do grate 2 pounds of zucchini.  This takes about 5 minutes so quit your bitchin.  You'll have a mountain of green that you can then squeeze the zucchini juice out of.  I would probably save the zucchini juice (isn't that the name of a Live song?) for a soup or stock or something but I've been reading An Everlasting Meal which is AMAZESAUCE and I use every last disgusting morsel of food now.  We'll have to chat about that book later.

Melt a 1/4 cup of butter on medium heat and add in a two shallots or two cloves of garlic OR if you're cray cray like me - one of each.  Then dump in your fresh-squeezed zucchini pulp and cook for awhile.  I don't know how long, til it looks like a spreadable mushy butter - maybe 30 minutes?  I scorched the bottom of mine a bit but that's just extra flavor.  

Wow.  I'm awesome at recipes.  I should be a meth lab mentor with how exact I am at food science. 

Add some salt (a lot of salt) and pepper and that's it.  Chill it and then enjoy your bounty of green "butter" on toast or a Triscuit or your finger.  And enjoy you will.  I thought this stuff was super tasty.  It won't blow you away immediately but once it cools and the flavors gel overnight you'll find yourself thinking about it throughout the day wishing you could spread some on a shoe or a book or whatever the closest thing to you is.  

It's like pesto but milder and much more friendly.  Pesto can be such an aggressive beast sometimes.  Too much raw garlic gives me a headache.  

You know what never gives me a headache?  Zucchini.  Or butter.  Or Live's song Zucchini Juice.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Even an army of Marcus Bachmanns couldn't get me to pray away the grey.

Gentlemen, bubble wrap your tender bits; ladies, hug your vajayjays because it's about to get rough around here.  It's time for another Brutalism and modern concrete lovefest 2.0!   
Apartment Building, Ramat-Gan, Israel, 1961-64 via Fuck Yeah Brutalism
Relive the original madness here.

I like my architecture to look like you would not want to meet in in a dark alley.  Unless that alley was made of concrete and looked super scary and aggressive and then YES I would love to meet it and then proceed to over-dramatically tongue kiss while I fondle all its corners. 

Church of the Holy Trinity, St. Georgenberg, Austria, 1965-76 via Fuck Yeah Brutalism
Brutalism appears so clunky and menacing but it really does like its corners delicately fondled.  It just puts on the rough exterior because inside its so tender.  Brutalism would horse fuck you then cuddle after.  Dawww...

It's the architectural equivalent of the Rock Biter from Neverending Story.  That movie was actually a documentary about Brutalism.  The 80s were weird.

Don't worry, Brutalism, you can't fool me.  I see what you're doing there and *whispers low with hand over heart* I'm still here.  Let's hold hands...

Swiss National Exhibition in 1964 from  Schweizerische Polierzeitung, the Swiss Construction Foremen Magazine  via Dispokino
ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!  Not ready for hand holding yet, huh?  Well then be alone with your pointy self.

[MS Sidebar: In their post, Dispokino asked "what could be a better representation of the simultaneity of modernism and cold war than a concrete hedgehog?"  Not a damn thing, friend.  Not a damn thing.]

Goetheanum spiritual complex, Rudolph Steiner via Subtilitas
I rully like the softer side of Brutalism too.  But it still pours milk over a bowl of Christopher Wrens and eats them for breakfast.

Kenzo Tange's Kagawa Gymnasium via Fuck Yeah Brutalism
Brutalism doesn't believe in "architectural context" or "establishing relationships with surrounding buildings."  The surrounding buildings renovate to match Brutalism.

Sports center in Takamatsu, Japan by Kenzo Tange via City Furniture
Fact: Brutalism can only be photographed in black and white. It roundhouse kicks the color out of your camera.

Well... usually.
Wotruba Church by Fritz Wotruba
A Brutalist church probably roundhouse kicks Jeezus in the face.  Stop pushing people away, Brutalism!  Let them in.
Gottfried Bohm via Coffee With An Architect.
Well it looks like it let people in this time but judging by those tiny windows they are prisoners.  OF LOVE!  

Lock ME in your concrete dungeon!  As long as you have a toaster oven and a freezer full of pizza rolls and vodka, I'll totally pretend every day is an episode of Game of Thrones and get nekkid for our architectural sessy times.

Andre Bloc via Seier + Seier
I'm not sure if this counts as Brutalism but it's definitely the DJ Jazzy Jeff to Brutalism's Fresh Prince.  I wouldn't kick it out of our concrete dungeon of love.

via Baumich but can't find architect...?
This was labeled as Mexican Modernism which might be my new concrete obsession.  Everyone needs a hot Latin lovah at least once in their life, right?!  I don't know, though... that sounds racist.

Orange County Goverment Center in NY via Preservation Nation.  Seen on Evolving Critic's Pinterest of goodies.
Sadly, not everyone loves a giant chunk of foreboding concrete.  Several buildings including this friendly Paul Rudolph one above are in danger of being torn down.  I understand the critics - these buildings aren't traditionally pretty and ARE kinda ugly in a "giving the middle finger to your sense of scale, proportion and emotional connection to place" kind of way but that's part of their charm.  They're the Judd Nelsons of The Breakfast Club.  

I used to hate these monstrosities too but then I realized I hated them because I was denying a part of myself!  Yeah, I'm not ashamed to say I was Brutophobic.  I tried to pray away the grey until I realized I rather liked their terrible form.  

Besides, my backfat and sometimes-abrasive attitude aren't all that pretty but nobody is trying to bulldoze me because of it.  That I've noticed...

So don't deny your ugly, embrace it!  

It should be easy with me - I'm squishy on account of the backfat.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

This makes me exceedingly happy.

I'm feeling super jazzed about this sideboard and mirror combo.  And the table... No definitely the sideboard.  It's The Art of Doing Stuff's dining room that was featured in Style at Home from forever ago but I just saw on Pinterest today so that means it's totally new, never been seen before interior porn to me.  

Sigh... I hope y'all have a good weekend doing cool things with your stylish water bottles in tow.  I'm going to spend it wishing I had a house nice enough to put in a magazine for the entire world to see.  

Instead it's just good enough to put on a blog for the entire world to see.  And it usually looks like this:
Just in case anyone was thinking that because I'm a "design blogger" that makes my house more funktastic than yours, you are wrong.  You are broken lamps, daily vitamins, duckpin bowling balls, Southern Living magazine, piles and piles of omigawd what the fuck is all this paper and why is all this shit ALWAYS on my coffee table? wrong.  

Welcome to life at the Ranch y'all.  Cheers to living in mediocrity and drunken chaos!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Water bottles so hot no one will notice your drinking problem.

As you can see from my big bleeding liberal heart, this Madame is all about saving endangered azaleas (in my yard) and boosting the body image of baby pandas everywhere. You can say I'm a real environmentalist.  I'll share my panda self esteem tips next time so we can talk about another important issue close to my tender heart: 
We've all seen the 'Women Struggling to Drink Water' at The Hairpin, right?
Water bottles.  

The thing that's ALWAYS in my left hand when I'm carrying my phone in my right.  They don't go in my purse (or pockehbook depending on your degree of Southernality) on my shoulder, they need to be easily accessible for instantaneous rehydration and to never miss an Instagram opportunity.  

I also keep my keys looped on a finger so I jingle when I walk so I also sound important and let people know I could leave at ANY second if this place isn't cool enough.  These items are my boughie badges.  

But I decided a few months ago that I'm done with the BPA-free plastic mess.  We had some good times at the farmer's market and floating down the Chattahoochee River together but all granola things must come to an end.  

My paranoid bleeding liberal tender nature tells me that just because we haven't run the study on what part of BPA-free plastic will give us cancer doesn't mean it's not there and causing a ridonkulous mess in our systems that I need to obsess over and web MD plastic cancer a billion times.  If I learned anything in the Girl Sunday Scouts it's to be prepared and never trust science you can't safely lick reapeatedly.

So you know what I like?  Glass.  There is nothing in it that's dangerous.  It's made of silica and crystalized angel saliva and neither of those have ever caused cancer in laboratory studies.  

After much research I now have two options I can recommend to you if you're interested in upgrading your boughie badge.  I'm a picky Madame so you can rest assured I've evaluated these quite thoroughly with my super sciencey brain.  Neither company is involved in any way and I'm just doing this because I want you to have nice things.  I also want you to avoid plastic cancer.

First up is the Takeya water bottle

Blogged about this little guy before.
It's a slim 22 oz and fits in your hand nicely especially if you have delicate lady paws like this blogger.  It comes with a silicone sleeve in a rainbow of colors so knock yourself out. The sleeve helps with grip, condensation and insulation because I don't drink anything without ice because it's the South y'all. It's fuckin hot.  I need ice.  Preferably crushed.  

[MS Sidebar: don't you hate how in Europe that none of their drinks come with ice?  I never feel refreshed.  If you ask for ice they give you one cube in a bowl. We're not reenacting 9 and 1/2 Weeks, Franck.  Give me a bucket full of ice, gawddamit.  MS Sidebar-within-a-Sidebar: don't you hate it when people talk about Europe like they are soo over it?  19-yr-old white trash me hates 31-yr-old Europe-judging me.]

It's like a rainbow wherever I go.
I also like the fixed carrying handle although it's a bit heavy to hang from your carabiner even though I KNOW you want to, hippies.  Other good points include a substantial lip which I happen to like, you can throw the whole thing in the dishwasher and it just generally looks cooler than every other person's water bottle.  I win at style.

Con: Because of the sleeve you can't see when it's full until it's FULL and often water will overflow a bit and hide in the grooves and sleeve and you only discover this when you take a drink in front of a group of a large group of people and pour water all down your front which is totally NOT my fault.  It's like Takeya is trying to start wet tshirt contests all over the country.  NICE TRY, Y'ALL!  I wear a bib at all times anyway so the joke's on you!  Perverts.

Option number 2 is the 17 oz Aquaovo Therm-O bottle.  

via Reusit
Technically it's a thermos.  Yeah, I know.  That's one sexy thermos.  It's insulated with double walls of borosilicate glass which is what they make beakers and Pyrex out of.  Look at how much I googled things!  Double walls mean ZERO sweating for icy beverages and although I haven't tried it with a hot drink I can attest it does seem to maintain coolness longer.  

It also comes with a removable strainer that just sits inside the lip so you can brew your own tea IN THE BOTTLE with the lid on.  Aquaovo won the Best of Product Design for Interior Design in 2009 so I don't need to tell you how much you will want to make out with this when you get it.
Merry Chimass to me!  Makeout soon followed.
Other things I like is its simple shape and the super wide mouth for easy cleaning and lots of ice and I think we know how I feel about large quantities of ice.

Con: One day when I using it in public someone jokingly asked me if I was drinking out of an olive jar.  I drink out of mason jars all the time so this isn't an insult to me.  In fact, I can't think of anything better to represent my style than a super sexy modern water bottle that pays homage to my Southern mason jar roots.  But if this isn't your style I'd recommend keeping the lid nearby.

In related news: I have no idea where the lids are to either of these bottles.  There should be a GPS tracker chip installed or some kind of shoelace/tether/umbilical cord attachment.  I hope they are just at home in my utensil drawer but honestly, I lost a bowl of bacon today while driving home so I don't have a lot of faith in myself.  

I'm not too worried because the most strenuous activity that I do with these bottles is trudge through the aisles of a dodgey thrift store which is probably exactly how the designers envisioned them being used.

In summation, I give my saucy stamp of approval to both options.  It's really just a matter of personal preference - I tend to use the Takeya more for travelling but use the Aquaovo as my default drinking glass at home or work but both are in heavy rotation.  

I ordered both from Fab so they were a little cheaper than the prices listed on their home sites.  More investment than a Nalgene but worth it.  I may have to trudge through a few more aisles at the thrift store but I earned another Girl Sunday Scout boughie badge of Environmentalism and Design.

Baby pandas, I'm coming for you next!

Monday, April 9, 2012

Circles. It does a neuron good.

My brain, full of billions of neurons firing important sciencey shit at each other, is really just a sump pump.  I didn't know what that was (the sump pump, I obviously have the brain chemistry part down)  until I moved into the Ranch and had to have one installed in the crawl space.  It does get rather saucy around here...

When it gets too saucy the magic lever sends a message to the bucket to empty its contents saving me from a flooded mess.  And somewhere in my head there is a magic lever that tells my brain when it's time to purge its contents as well.  Often to disastrous results but you can't contain (or judge!) the overflow sometimes.

Fortunately this time it's rather tame and just a roundup of big black circles.  Which I already blogged about last year but the reservoir is full again and I have to free up some space to write some really important things about tv and Instagram so let the purging commence!
You'd think I did indeed discover the circle with how much I blog about it. More Bruno here.
Now that this ball is rolling (get it?! ZING!), we can get down to business and talk about important shit like tv.  Since I've watched all the episodes of Sherlock Holmes and have to wait until May for Season 2, I had to get my British fix somewhere so I started watching Dr. Who this weekend.  And by started, I mean I watched the entire 1st season like a fucking rabid dog because it's not like we have beautiful Spring weather right now, amiright?!

No source. Again. People that like black circles apparently hate sourcing.
Maybe time travel has me thinking about wormholes/black holes but I really hope my brain isn't as basic and literal as that. 

Well, it is a sump pump...

Idris Khan
However I will say that it gets pretty basic *eyebrow wiggle* while I'm watching my new imaginary boyfriend Christopher Eccleston make his Dr. Who sexy time mad face.  

via A Minute of Perfection
I know, but no spoilers.  This would just be easier if all y'all would just go ahead and watch it.  I hate being forced to keep my mouth shut about things.  (Big black hole subliminal message to myself to shut the fuck up once in awhile...????)
via Ultra Violett
Feel free to comment about your personal Dr. Who obsession (I KNOW YOU HAVE ONE) at the bottom to make me feel better.

No source. Thanks for shit, tumblr people.
Look! All black and white and sciencey and vintage...  I love it.  

But not more than Dr. Who.

via Input but original source?
Egg-zactly.  And that's the closest thing to an Easter reference you're going to get around here.

Sarah Berdhard
Unless zombie jeezus likes to disco and watch sci fi...?  I fucking hope so!

Ova Slika via Metaconscious

spiraling electrons via Input

Eunice Kim via Planetary Folklore

Oh sorry - I zoned out and watched another episode of Dr. Who between those pictures.  I don't know who says blogging is quick but each of my posts is at least 4 episodes long.  This is my craft and all. 

So are you done with circles?
via Coffee and Air
Well since you asked...
via Young Folk Society
Motherfucking DUH!  

Bernard Aubertin
Seriously, I don't know why I collect this shit.  I need an immortal alien genius to decipher my sump pump brain.  

Perhaps alone... 

Surely the TARDIS has a good corner that would be perfect for dry humping...
Martha Richter
In a completely unrelated topic, you can download for free an entire series of these wood grain prints.  You'll probably see them on my wall next week.  If I actually have any time when I'm not busy finishing the entire Dr. Who series and most definitely getting to that Torchwood marathon that's been a year in the making.

astronomy wall hanging circa 1850 via Planetary Folklore
Hey, these circles don't collect themselves!  It takes hours for hipsters on tumblr to find this shit for me.  We should all get a TARDIS just to make our Pinterest and Netflix obsessions a little easier to manage.  

Jacob van Loon
We'll probably all have one by 2015.  You can trust me on this.  I'm really good with sciencey shit.

And keeping crawl spaces dry.