Monday, May 30, 2011

Putting the 'Vegas' in Chattavegas.

Nothing says thank you to our troops and veterans like buying a shit ton of towels on sale so naturally I wanted to do my part.  So I was in the mall - my first trip since Christmas I think - just long enough to notice we now have a Forever 21 which is a pretty big deal.  Chattavegas is obviously moving on up in the world as evidenced by the metroplex of cheap tweener clothing (which I may or may not have ventured in because I'd never been there before.  For the troops and all...).  Once I had my fill of unnaturally tiny shorts on 14 yr olds and pretzel bites (seriously, I was full because that shit is delicious) I went to someplace outside of the mall that didn't make me question our future generations.  Also, the shoes I wanted weren't on sale.  It's like you hate America, Dillard's?????  

I went to my comfort zone and browsed some furniture instead.  Chattavegas has 1.35 good stores for home stuffs and that's if you include the Ashley Furniture Store of Death and Horror.  The one fun place is a salvage warehouse that has cheap random coolness from time to time.  Just witness:
Well damn!  I think you might be lost mirrored console table because this is the shiniest thing Chattanooga has seen since I added 'vegas' to its name!  I don't know if I love you or hate you but I feel like no one can appreciate your fabulosity in this city like this Madame.  The ModSauce Ranch is a safe place for tons of other wacky shit that needed a home so you'd fit right in.  Kinda...  

I mean, hellloooooo?! 
Put your paws up for Armani
Oh you're $300??  

I'll wait for you to go on sale.  

To honor the troops.


  1. I'm a horrible patriot! I didn't even buy anything... See ya next lifetime, weird ass table.

  2. Dillard's let me down this weekend too, you are not alone.

  3. Pretzel bites never let me down, though.

  4. I wanted to buy a ton of stuff from the One King's Lane Memorial Day blowout, but it was all gone within .000001 seconds. Does watching the MTV special with Lady Gaga count as patriotism?

  5. Funny, I was just there today - don't know how I missed that swanky piece!

  6. Kim - Yes, it does. If you watch it over and over again it counts even more...

    Chattafabulous Kim - ooh girl, you musta been blinded by the reflections! Or maybe it already found a good home...

    PS - we should totally hang out. We live in the same city for gawd's sake!! ; )

  7. I too set out this weekend to purchase some "gear" (in the form of an arc welder) but didn't. Since I don't live in a warehouse that I can use as a welding studio, I don't have a dedicated circuit that can support the massive electrical load the particular machine I want requires. I doubt the condo association would appreciate a breaker meltdown (I can't do nothing!).

    Instead I saluted the five phantom fighters as they flew over the beach I was on, under full afterburner thrust (sweet).

    It's the little things that really matter anyway, right!?


  8. Izzy - looks like we both left empty-handed this weekend. : ( But you're right, it's always the little things that matter the most - be they small salutes or pretzel bites.

  9. Where did you get that picture of my mother?

    I thought I deleted that thing from the internet!