We like to explore all manner of healthy (or not) fantasies here at the Sauce. My favorite - after being the nerd version of Beyonce of course - is the one where I get to be an artist! Squee! Not like the artist Sasha Fierce but a painter of shit. It feels similar to my fantasy of being a vegan. Both would be excellent for my body/spirit but they require dedication and skill that I'm not sure I have, a spirit of adventurous creativity that sounds exhausting AND I have to give up some of my favorite things... saturated fats and free time.
I like glitter and pretending I have a diva attitude but I can't sing so at least painting and going veg is at least a bit more attainable. ( But less sparkly. Sad face.) Needless to say - the painting fantasy therefore becomes very important in my fake internal reality.
So when I saw these painting by Seth Clark it really chapped my ass because I'm pretty sure he did some kind of Sookie Stackhouse shit and looked into my brain and proceeded to steal exactly what I would paint in my artist fantasy.
The first rule of telepathy is pretend privacy and this dude might be able to paint all pretty (or in this case ugly) but he sucks at common telepathic courtesy. Come ON, Seth! I only have like two good ideas in my fake artist file and THIS was one of them! Leave something for the rest of us, you super-talented jerk. That was pretending to have a diva attitude if you didn't get that part...
Abandoned houses in various stages of disrepair? IT'S LIKE YOU KNOW ME ON THE INSIDE.
Oh how bout make some details all abstract and cool? Gawd Seth, you're so selfish with the awesomeness.
Windows into my dead soul!!
It's not like I couldn't just quit my job and move into a dirty downtown studio where I hang out with other artists/homeless people and develop a drinking problem and get two pet ferrets named Kodo and Podo (another fantasy) just like in Beastmaster (different kind of fantasy) and be that zany-but-admired artist lady with the leather culottes after practicing my craft for a dozen or so years to then be able to kinda replicate these and then who's gonna look silly?!
Ok make it fifteen years...
Ferrets would be really useful by stealing paintbrushes for me and unlocking the doors of abandoned houses... just sayin.
More better than Sasha Fierce? I don't know...
|found via The Jealous Curator|
At least it won't interfere with my vegan lifestyle.
It'll most definitely help my Beyonce impression though...