Dear Santa,

I know you are the wisest of the magi so I don't even need to tell you that I've been a very good girl this year in all the sauciest ways.  So when I look underneath the tree this year I pray to the little baby jeebus in the manger wearing a gold diaper that I find a beautifully wrapped package that would make Martha Stewart shit her granny prison panties and then take that shit and bake a wonderfully delicious cake with it.  Then I want to open that box and find the strength not to cut a bitch who ever wears this outfit anywhere within a 50 miles of me:

Considering this picture has been reblogged almost 9000 times on tumblr I feel like this is a gift that will no doubt prove useful to humanity as it will prevent me from being a serial killer every time I walk by an Urban Outfitters.  

Although perhaps a bigger gift to humanity WOULD be for me to kill all those who dare to bring back (even ironically) the CK sweatshirt and acid-washed jeans of my youth.  This headless person chose not to include Doc Martens which, if I'm being honest, is an oversight but it will make me steal her shoes once I finish stealing her life.  

Really, Santa, it's up to you which path your choose but there better be some kind of solution to this problem come December 25th.

Peace be with you,

Your devoted child of glitter - 

Madame Sunday/Lacy/possible serial killer