Monday, February 17, 2014

Booty Bouquet? Aw you shouldn't have!

First of all, this post is sliiightly NSFW because ASS but it won't get you fired or anything.  I hope...

So I didn't get started on painting my walls as expected this past weekend so I've failed you.  I'm really enjoying this No Spend February and any trip to the store (even for previously approved paint purchases) is temptation.  I went to Costco for Brussels sprouts and wine (previously approved staples) and came out with a 5 lb bag of dried cherries that I have no idea what I'm going use them for.  THIS is why I'm avoiding stores.

I have to go pick up a prescription at Walgreens tomorrow and I'm only allowing myself the drive thru.  That place is a danger zone of cheap nail polish and yogurt-covered raisins.

Could I coat 5 lbs of dried cherries in fake yogurt coating??  Things to think about...

In addition to vision of dried cherries dancing in my head, I've also been thinking about art for the bedroom.  I'm excited to ACTUALLY HANG art on the walls.  I'm a 'leaner' of arty things because I never have anything framed the way I want and I have plaster walls so I'm scared.  But fuck it, let's do it. 

Untitled (Blue Dress), 2000
I'm still incredibly attracted to tropical themes (shut up I don't care I'm feelin' it) and happened to find these photographs by Naomi Fisher that I'm pretty stoked about.

Sparkly Shirt, 2000
'Stoked' being the only applicable word considering I can't even afford to by a print even though I really want a giant wall-sized print of these. 

Untitled, 1998
Ok I'll take a small print.  I just love this one.  

And now that I've lulled you in with a false sense of security, the really good stuff is... sliiightly erotic.
Untitled (White Lilies), 2000
You might see a bit of bush (sorry not sorry) but nothing bad if your boss sneaks up on you.

Untitled (Haliconia in Warm Sunlight), 2000
Just lots of ass. 

Which would be perfect for my bedroom, COME OOONNNN!

Untitled (Dangling Haliconia), 2000
No wait, this one's kinda my fave...

Part of me wishes I could print this out in a giant 4'x6' size at FedEx/Kinko's just for the interaction with the salesperson because you know it'll print reeealy slow and they might notice that that shape is resembling a butt and then oh my it is a butt and then they get really nervous and sweaty for what else is going to print and I'll just stand there and stare at them with one raised eyebrow and dare them to say anything and we'll have a stare off to see who looks away first while butts just print out below us.

Untitled (Black Dress), 2000
But I'll never look away first, guy probably naked Keven wearing a Kinko's blue shirt.  I'll never look away first.

Booty Bouquet, 1998
As you might have noticed, eloquence is not my thang but SnailCrow has a nice little essay about the sexuality (read: genitals of both the human and flora variety) of this series which is worth a read.  He uses the word 'fecundity' and I smirked at the title Booty Bouquet so you can see which one us bloggers owns a dictionary.

Assy Flora Suite of 3, Pink Hibiscus, Royal Poincettia, Orchid Tree, 1999
Well, I don't think anyone OWNS a dictionary anymore but certain bloggers might be more familiar with its contents than others.

Untitled (Dying Yellow Tulips), 2000
You know what I'm about to be familiar with?  A neverending supply of dried cherries.  Do you think Kevin-who-probably-works-at-FedEx-Kinko's likes cherries?  Because we're about to get reall intimate.

Most pics found on Plant Propaganda (superfun new plant/art blog that's worth a look) but more at SnailCrow, Le Cafe Momus and Artist Pension Trust.


  1. I'm real partial to Assy Flora Suite of 3. That's niiiice.

    1. You have excellent taste in flora and asses!

  2. um...the cherries go in vodka...and maybe some in olive oil. i tend to go savory for making infused olive oil, but why not? and even if the infusing part doesn't work out, you get to either drink vodka or sop up olive oil with know, for regular quality control checks on your experiment.