Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Madame Sunday breaks up with a contractor dude.

MS: Hi Contractor Dude - it's MS.  Sigh... we need to talk.

CD:  oh no, this sounds bad...

MS:  This is really hard.  *waves hands in front of eyes to suppress the tears*  I've decided to go with someone else for my kitchen remodel.  It was a really tough choice but I think this is for the best.

CD:  Wow.  I did NOT see this coming.  I really thought this was going to work out.  We were doing so well...

MS:  I know, I know.  I thought so too.  Just...

CD:  I mean, we got along so good!  Had the same interests in the community...  The same sense of humor - we could be so goofy together!  Remember when we first met and laughed so hard at your kitchen...??!!  God - how often does that happen??

MS: Every time someone comes in the kitchen.  It's so rare!  I know - that's what makes this so hard.  
CD:  That day at the renovated firehouse, you know, was really special.  You said you really liked our woodworking.  Were you lying?  WAS IT ALL A LIE???!!

MS: Of course not! You're so talented and what we had was real.  But we need to leave it in the past. 

CD: Why?  I thought we really connected - you saw the renovation in my house for chrissake!   I let you in!!  I let you inside!!!  And now you're stomping on my insides like you feel nothing!  NOTHING!!

MS:  DON'T TELL ME HOW I FEEL!!  I told you that I liked your work and I was honest.  Don't turn the great things we shared into something grotesque and nasty.  Don't ruin that memory!  But the numbers don't lie...  

CD: But we can change that!  We can go back and go over things again and adjust things and see if we can't work something out and maybe, maybe, we don't reallyneedthatextra 

*sssshhhhhh - holds finger to his lips - ssssshhhhh* 

MS:  Just stop.  It's too little, too late.  We should have talked about that stuff weeks ago but...  This just isn't meant to be.

CD:  So what is it then?  What does he have that I don't have??

MS:  Come on, let's not do it like this...  

CD:  No I want to know!  What was it?  Was he nicer?  What was his bid like?  Did he have a bigger truck? You told me truck size didn't matter!

MS:  Get a hold of yourself!  You're talking crazy now!  It's nothing that you did really.  Honestly it's me not you.  I need to grow and spread my wings.  You were holding me back because...  because, well I liked you too much.  There, I said it!   It was something that I had to do for my own self because otherwise it would have been too hard later.  If something had happened and my feelings were in the way who do you think would have suffered? ME, that's who!  And the kitchen and we don't need to take this out on the innocent kitchen.  It just wants to be pretty and loved and prepare delicious meals!!  Remember the kitchen!

CD:  That doesn't even make sense.  I don't understand what you're saying...

MS:  You don't have to understand me, only set me free.

CD:  I just hope he treats you good.  You deserve that at least...

MS:  Thank you.  Thank you for making this easy.  You know how much respect I have for you...

CD:  So will I see you again?

MS:  Sure I'll see you around!  You're working in the neighborhood and I'll see you at events - we have the same friends.  You're so great you're going to find new work so fast - people will be lined up outside your door I know it!!

CD:  Well, can I call your friend about helping with her bathroom remodel?

MS:  WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF BACKSTABBING MAN WHORE ARE YOU???!!!!  Have some respect - we JUST broke up!  Asshole.


  1. Excuse me, I uhh, I have something in my eye.

  2. David - It's okay just let it out. This is a safe place.

  3. Hey, he told me you guys were over and that it was okay if he helped with my bathroom. Don't blame me just because I have better fixtures!

  4. Alright! I normally avoid the quagmire of gossip and rumors, but it's an obvious question just begging to be asked:

    The other contractor is better in bid, isn't he?

  5. I feel better now. I just really thought you two crazy kids had a chance.

  6. Alexandra - a REAL friend knows where the boundaries are you hussy! ; )

    Izzy - ahahahahahaha! I kinda live in that quagmire. {giggity} And yes, he was better.

    David - aahhhh to be young and poor and in lust with a kitchen.

  7. I KNEW that this was coming, I saw the writing on the bid and just knew it! I am here girl if you need someone to lean on who has been there, done that. We both know that this is for the best, for both of you.


  8. Brenda - Just because it's for the best doesn't mean it hurts any less. (sorry - rhyming was accidental)

  9. Ridiculous ... my heart goes out to the little guy. Fatal guy flaw, he got too comfortable. Never get too comfortable

  10. Jamey - you are absolutely right my friend! He thought he had it made and got lazy... A madame needs some extra attention every now and again!

  11. You size queen! You totally went with the dude with the bigger truck!

  12. Wow... he had such an emotional side. Such a rarity in a GC. Then you kicked him to the curb... maybe you can let him in on your future pimpin activities? You know, so he doesn't continue to be butt hurt and all. It's the least you can do.