Monday, January 17, 2011

Yet another post where I squee a lot and talk about a random 80's movie.

I think I may have found my secret mountain hideaway magical elf house courtesy of Trendir.

My heart just exploded with sleek A-frame cuteness.   I'm sure the heart-exploding squee-venture I experienced was not exactly the feeling the architect was going for - that was probably more of an exhalted calm - but I can't help it.  Me wanty.  

I'm sure he'll be even more thrilled to know I'm jumping up and down and clapping my hands right now!  There may even be more squeeing but I can't really confirm or deny it.  This could only be better if the apex at the roof jizzed sparkly fireworks every night.   

In my mind it already does.

Now I'm skipping around its perimeter and licking the walls.  Normal right?  RIGHT??!!!!  This is a vacation home that is described as a "cabinet of curiosities" for the owner.  Apparently the client is a rather eccentric lady person and collects rare books, wine and stuffed birds.  Hopefully that means taxidermy and not plushies.  I might pass out from pleasure when I see the interior.

I think if Darth Vader had hot teddy bear sex with an ewok and they made a baby and that baby was a pointy bombshelter then this would be it.  It's all black and hard and seems menacing but at the same time it's tiny and lives in a forest and is totally smiling at me right now.  Awwww....

Some technical nerdery:
I would kill a baby ewok to have a collection of those models.

Site plan porn.

Isn't proportion fun??!!!!!  

From the architect: 

"The house aims to undermine the seeming limitations of a triangular section by augmenting and revealing the extreme proportion in the vertical direction, and utilizing the acutely angled corners meeting the floor as moments for thickened walls, telescopic apertures and built-in storage." 

*eye-motherfuckin-roll*  I both hate it and love it when designer people get in the zone and talk straight from their asses brains about their own work.  (Lawd knows I've spit plenty of shit once upon a time.)   I would call a triangular section more pure than "limiting" but I'm no architect and without overcoming geometry's inherent dickishness that victory roof would just be vainglorious and really, who wants that?  But this place is still pretty badass so he can say whatever the fuck he wants about extreme proportions and sexy telescoping apertures.  

Hey waaaaaiiit a minute...    Did he just establish a circle of comfort and then place a bunch of bookshelves BELOW it???!!!  I'm not sure if the satisfaction I feel for the attention to detail with regard to human scale would balance out the fact that I have to bend over to get books on the bottom shelf...  If I was fancy enough to build my own house designing for my laziness would be the first priority.  I would design everything just like they stock grocery store shelves - all the delicious crap right in front of my face requiring minimal effort.

Blah, blah, blah it's awesomely tranquil but the I'm pretty sure those chairs are only for ewok-sized sitters.  Nothing makes me more huffy (yeah, I'm really bringing out the salty language now!) than trying to figure out how to get out of a chair where my ass is two inches from the ground but my knees are higher than my armpits.  I can either roll over to a kneeling position and then gently raise up like the demure geisha that I'm not or assume the always classy I'm-giving-birth-in-a-third-world-country squatting position and hoist myself up while trying not to spill my drink.  I guess short squatty chairs are necessary to "augment and reveal" the extreme vertical of the house and the extreme awkwardness of my unladylike coordination.  Madame Sunday: 0.  Awesome-looking but sadistic furniture: 98237437428438.

Is all the scenery real????

 all images from Trendir and William O'Brien Jr.
I think I would have liked this more if I hadn't have created such an intense backstory in my head but once I went ewok I just couldn't NOT think about them.  I'm not sure what I was actually expecting for a contemporary "cabinet of curiosities" but I don't think it was this.  However I could definitely spend some weekends here contemplating vast triangular sections and awesome 80's movies.  

After I buy a rug.


  1. thank you for the eye-motherfuckin-roll, I deserved that.
    And, if you did lick it, you might need to worry about lead poison. just sayin.

  2. OMG I love it! I saw just one of those pictures a while back- Stunning.

    When you get it, I'm moving in(fair warning).

  3. Jody - Lead poisoning? That's pretty unsexy. sad face. Since you may or may not be an architect I both hope that you do and do not write sentences like that describe your work. Big words turn me on but also make me eye-motherfuckin-roll. I can't help it.

    Nick - done! You bring the rug.

  4. Ummm...I think I liked the exterior better than the seems cold and uninspired on the inside. How the heck could someone have such a cool exterior with interesting shapes and then blah? The lest they could'a done was put in a timber truss or something *wink wink*

    Hey, if you install a rug, then you can lay on the floor and roll to the lower bookcase and never have to stoop.

  5. Amy - oooooh timber would definitely be much more ewok-inspired! I'm with you though - interior is ok just not rocking my world like the exterior. Love your rug idea! I would just get rid of all the furniture then - rugs and pillows all over the floor. Like a slumber party!!

  6. Would the slumber party involve pank pj's? Yes, I am going to hound you for all of 2011 about "pank." And does David Mathias know you cussed again? "Huffy?" I mean, really!

  7. This reminded me of the T-shirt the carpenter on Dear Genevieve was wearing, which said:

    "Triangles and Rectangles Agree -- Circles Have No Point."

  8. Alexandra - even though it would be a 'no expectations' party I would expect you to not wear pank. I would also expect to probably call the police on you but that's really par for the course huh?! ; )

    Slade - circles are blonde bimbos of geometry. Curvy and sexy but best to keep their piehole shut.

  9. This is MUY bad-ass, and the drawings and photos are sweet too! It's all a massive vortex of serene madness. Though the architect's "talky" words make my ears bleed, or rather feel like a paper cut on my eye (since i'm lookin' at words that are written). They don't seem as poetic as the house.

    I like architecture words as much as anyone, but when something is clearly well designed rationalized explanations aren't really necessary; better to leave them inside the madness, and bask in the foggy autumn-ness of it all.

    AWWW! Now I'm all drooly.


  10. Izzy - I just wrote a huge response, realized you said the exact same thing so I erased it. I like your "talky" words better - massive vortex of serene madness sounds pretty damn cool! Sorry about drool. Actually, I'm not at all...!

  11. This house reminds me of that house you see when you cross over one of the bridges going into NYC can't remember said bridge. I mean it's a smaller version and the woods might be a better setting the people driving across a bridge in NYC. Must find this picture when I remember this bridge.

  12. Shannon - I want to see it! I think if I saw this place in a city I wouldn't like it as much but would love to see its cousin house!

  13. Craig - I don't know who you are but now you are my new favorite person because I'm a sucker for magical compliments. Welcome to the Sauce!