Yet another post where I squee a lot and talk about a random 80's movie.

I think I may have found my secret mountain hideaway magical elf house courtesy of Trendir.

My heart just exploded with sleek A-frame cuteness.   I'm sure the heart-exploding squee-venture I experienced was not exactly the feeling the architect was going for - that was probably more of an exhalted calm - but I can't help it.  Me wanty.  

I'm sure he'll be even more thrilled to know I'm jumping up and down and clapping my hands right now!  There may even be more squeeing but I can't really confirm or deny it.  This could only be better if the apex at the roof jizzed sparkly fireworks every night.   

In my mind it already does.

Now I'm skipping around its perimeter and licking the walls.  Normal right?  RIGHT??!!!!  This is a vacation home that is described as a "cabinet of curiosities" for the owner.  Apparently the client is a rather eccentric lady person and collects rare books, wine and stuffed birds.  Hopefully that means taxidermy and not plushies.  I might pass out from pleasure when I see the interior.

I think if Darth Vader had hot teddy bear sex with an ewok and they made a baby and that baby was a pointy bombshelter then this would be it.  It's all black and hard and seems menacing but at the same time it's tiny and lives in a forest and is totally smiling at me right now.  Awwww....

  

Some technical nerdery:

I would kill a baby ewok to have a collection of those models.

Site plan porn.

Isn't proportion fun??!!!!!  


From the architect: 

"The house aims to undermine the seeming limitations of a triangular section by augmenting and revealing the extreme proportion in the vertical direction, and utilizing the acutely angled corners meeting the floor as moments for thickened walls, telescopic apertures and built-in storage." 

*eye-motherfuckin-roll*  I both hate it and love it when designer people get in the zone and talk straight from their asses brains about their own work.  (Lawd knows I've spit plenty of shit once upon a time.)   I would call a triangular section more pure than "limiting" but I'm no architect and without overcoming geometry's inherent dickishness that victory roof would just be vainglorious and really, who wants that?  But this place is still pretty badass so he can say whatever the fuck he wants about extreme proportions and sexy telescoping apertures.  

Hey waaaaaiiit a minute...    Did he just establish a circle of comfort and then place a bunch of bookshelves BELOW it???!!!  I'm not sure if the satisfaction I feel for the attention to detail with regard to human scale would balance out the fact that I have to bend over to get books on the bottom shelf...  If I was fancy enough to build my own house designing for my laziness would be the first priority.  I would design everything just like they stock grocery store shelves - all the delicious crap right in front of my face requiring minimal effort.

Blah, blah, blah it's awesomely tranquil but the I'm pretty sure those chairs are only for ewok-sized sitters.  Nothing makes me more huffy (yeah, I'm really bringing out the salty language now!) than trying to figure out how to get out of a chair where my ass is two inches from the ground but my knees are higher than my armpits.  I can either roll over to a kneeling position and then gently raise up like the demure geisha that I'm not or assume the always classy I'm-giving-birth-in-a-third-world-country squatting position and hoist myself up while trying not to spill my drink.  I guess short squatty chairs are necessary to "augment and reveal" the extreme vertical of the house and the extreme awkwardness of my unladylike coordination.  Madame Sunday: 0.  Awesome-looking but sadistic furniture: 98237437428438.

Is all the scenery real????

 all images from Trendir and William O'Brien Jr.

I think I would have liked this more if I hadn't have created such an intense backstory in my head but once I went ewok I just couldn't NOT think about them.  I'm not sure what I was actually expecting for a contemporary "cabinet of curiosities" but I don't think it was this.  However I could definitely spend some weekends here contemplating vast triangular sections and awesome 80's movies.  

After I buy a rug.