Sunday, June 12, 2011

Blah, blah, blah, BANANA HAMMOCK!

Look!  Tile...
Puurrrty.  You can find it here but I think it's commercial and there are no prices so you can't buy it therefore just look at it and imagine grand walls tiled floor to ceiling in it. 

Seriously, that's all I got...  The blackness totally sold me.  

But so did the TurQWAZ!!!!

No definitely the blackness.

I don't really have a funny story to tell you in relation to these, I just really like when simple is done right.  And then you can repeat it over and over and over again.  It's like a visual squeegasm for the OCD person.  That's Obsessive Compulsive Designer type person.  Not that I'm that kind of person because that's totally weird and what freaks think about...  heh heh  *nervous laugh*

Oh here's a funny story! I was putting a magic spell on my house last weekend and...  ooohhh... you've already heard that one and I don't think it's helping my case at all.

Man, I'm emptier than... than... Sean Penn's loveless pitifull gaze towards Scarjo.  How was that?!  Anything?!  Yeah, me neither.

[Insert hilarity here]

I love it and I don't even like flowers.  I shoulda done a mood board or something.  

Hell that doesn't even need a mood board!  Lemme see if I can find something funny about it...

*scrunches face and digs deep into saucy well*


Well, that wasn't very productive...

I know just the thing to brighten this post up:
ZING!  Happy belated birfday Prince!  Not that you celebrate it anymore because you're a Jehovah's Witness.  And not that you would wear that "outfit" anymore either because see previous sentence about being a Jehovah's Witness.  But if he happened to show up at my door selling whatever it is that Jehovah's Witnesses sell (is it Scientology?) I would totally let him inside the Ranch to hang out a bit.  Bonus points if it's actually the tile above.  I would totally and non-ironically convert to the Tom Cruise fake religion if he was wearing that banana hammock too because the awesomeness of this poster next to the water heater is almost too much for me to handle.  I might also force him into my water heater closet to recreate this image no matter how much he cries and begs to be let out and complains about how loud Purple Rain is or how heavy the chains are.  Suck it up.  This is called marketing, people!!!!  Tile makers and Scientologists take note!


  1. DUDE! I so had that poster on the back of my bedroom door in high school (much to my parents' consternation).

    If Prince showed up at my door, I would suck every life juice out of his body.


  2. You had excellent teenage taste. If Prince showed up at my door having gay sex with a donkey I would STILL want to suck every life juice out of his body.


  3. 1. The tile, especially the matte black on shiny black - cool.
    2. The poster, all tattered and hung in a green boiler room - a little freaky.

  4. 1. I know, right?!
    2. I know, right?!

  5. shitnuts.

    that tile is handsome.

    prince told me he loved me circa 1985. you think i kid. but i do not kid.

  6. I don't even care if you're making it up I'm still jealous.