Thursday, June 16, 2011

Saucy tidbits

A smattering of things happening at the Ranch and in my brain lately:

I'm really like this staircase and kinda want to lick the paneling but in a totally normal way.
Tim Street-Porter Photography via The Rumbling
You can keep that lamp though...


Panty-creaming awesome news: Found out this week that the MS Ranch gets a new roof!!  The storms that rolled through our areas with the tornadoes earlier this year brought some serious hail.  I know because I heard it while I was sitting in the dark in my bathtub hoping the hail would be the worst thing I got - it was.  So insurance came out and was like "Dayum girl, your roof sucks!  Here's a new one." and I was like "Aww snap, show me the money!"  Now I have to find a roofing person and punch myself for talking like an asshole.

Obviously, in keeping with the rancher style of my home I'll go for something authentic and low maintenance like a thatch roof:


Unfortunately the mint green vinyl siding is in perfect shape because it's INDESTRUCTABLE!  


Anybody else as excited about this movie as I am?!

Oh, just me?!  Figures.  Yeah, I know it looks kinda terrible but it's got cowboys and motherfuckin NINJAS in it!!  And Geoffrey Rush?!  How bad/awesome could it be??  Ok it'll probably be pretty bad but I'll still force one of my friends to see it with me so I don't have to be the only girl in the dark theater with 4 other mouth breathers.  I shouldn't make fun... those are kinda my people.


I so love red right now.
Note to self: pretend like it's 1993 and buy some red lipstick that you'll only wear on a few Friday nights at home in your pajamas to make up for the fact that you're at home on a Friday night because only whores wear red lipstick that color out of the house.  Whores that I need to ask where they got their lipstick...


Next week this Madame is putting down the computer, packing up her bestest sweat pants and heading on vacation!!  But not a normal vacation where I lounge in an off-season priced beach condo that smells like the ocean's ass, I'll be going on a swanky vacation!  GE Monogram is flying a madame and some other bloggering people to Louisville, Kentucky for a few days for general fabulosity and to do top secret cooking stuff.  Well, I don't think it's top secret but I like the idea of going on a vacation AND being a secret agent of sauteing.

We'll be staying at the 21C Hotel which is all famous and stuff for being badass because it's a hotel AND museum rolled into one.  Like a pig in a blanket but more arty.  Equally delicious I'm sure.

photos via Design Milk
After I get back I'll be spending the rest of my week doing madamey things like watching marathons of Locked Up: Raw catching up on poetry reading and roasting chickens for the underprivileged (i.e. my friends).  So enjoy your week without me clogging up your internet with stupid tweets and dickalopes!  

Keep it saucy, y'all.  


  1. I can't wait to taste The Sauce!


    I meant...

    Aw hell...

    It'll be awfully nice to finally meet you.

  2. For me this has been a week of NeoCon parties and Spring Flings. Alas it's all over now, though I can look forward to The Warriors Way! Which looks effin' awesome!

    Have fun on your, how do you say, vay-kay-shun?

    It's going to be tough - the shock and sudden withdrawal symptoms resulting from our lack of saucy blog fix, will likely leave us shaky and feverish.


  3. You've had a busy week! Unfortunately I don't think the Warrior's Way comes out until late fall but it'll give us something to look forward to.

    Wheeee vay-kay-shun! The internet moves so fast after about Tuesday you'll think Mistress Saturday who?!

  4. Madame, we will be having so much fun next week it will we will be beside our selves!I can't wait to actually meet you and all of the others in person! See ya soon!

  5. I'd be insanely jealous because I LOVE to bake and cook, but then I realized this gives me a full week to make snarky comments behind your back. For example, right here: I'll get the tickets for the Fall show as I love those kinds of movies. Anyone who can fly backwards into a tree is my kind of action hero!

  6. I am only a decent cook but kinda suck at baking so I hope they learn me good!

    Snark away behind my back, any time someone mentions me elsewhere in the internet google sends me 4 pennies! Cha-ching!!

  7. I'm more about the staircase's skinny balusters and handrail and the crisp contrast between the white everythings and the black treads. Fabulous!

  8. I love everything you just said too. Thanks for stopping by the Sauce today!

  9. Love that staircase. I just stole that photo from you. And, just today, I bought some coral red (more red than coral) lipstck! I'm not sure what came over me. At this very minute I'm sitting in my den in my pjs and sporting whore-girl red lips. Nice!

  10. You lucky! When the stupid May flood destroyed our roof they said No way Jose you pay fo' yo own damn roof. So we did, $4,000. Those motherfuckers.

  11. susie q - isn't red whore lips in jammies so much more glamorous than actually going out with it on?! Glad to know I'm not the only one. ; )

    Bri - Damn! WTF is wrong with your insurance company?! Did you at least try to use your lady ways on the adjuster...?! I mean, $4000 is a LOT of money!

  12. Amazing designing of this house. Really like the interior designs.

    house and lot for sale philippines