Tangerine can Tango with my fist!

Pour yourself a Satsuma cocktail and dry hump a ginger because we are gonna talk about O-raaahhnnnnge!


I'm always super late to the game with these Pantone posts but I like to see what everyone else says first.  And then *eye-motherfuckin-roll* into the new year and then get busy gabbing!


But it's extra late this year because I'm supremely bored with Pantone lately and have been avoiding this post like Lady Mary avoids cousin peen. #DowntonAbbeyReference 

As I'm sure you've heard the color of the year for 2012 is Tangerine Tango. 

Yay. Limp streamers.  Mylar balloons.  Bad cake.  I hate it when a bad thing happens to a decent color.

I don't have a funny name for it because I don't even hate Pantone enough this year to give it 110%.  I'm basically indifferent now.  And Gandhi totally said the opposite of love isn't hate, but indifference.  Or was it MLK?  Ricki Lake?  Aw fuck it.  I love over-analyzing color but leave it up to Pantone to completely strip all the joy out of that for me with this Color of the Year bullshit.  Thanks a lot, assholes.

Back in October I made some "predictions" about what I thought Pantone's choice might be - I leaned more toward deep blue and mustardy neutrals but I did include a a bit of orangey rust because I'm a gypsy fortuneteller. 

I would dry hump this (maybe it already has been?). I love it. via Busy Being Fabulous. AGAIN.

Granted, I didn't actually predict this color but that's kinda close right?!  Right.  I should start giving psychic readings.  As long as it's about color and people are fine with 30% accuracy.  And I can spend a lot of time on Pinterest doing it...

I'd personally prefer a darker and redder orange but hey, I'm just a hillbilly (gypsy fortuneteller) so everyone should probably ignore me.

Fake Blood by Federica Erra

I'm also feeling some peaches and corals lately too...?  Must be because we're all gearing up for Spring as indicated by the 65 degree January days and bathing suits already out in stores that make me want to barf.  

Martha Stewart

Y'all, remind me to shave my legs by March.

But I'm down with Tangerine Tango as a color even though I usually try to avoid orange because in Tennessee it is more indicative of your college football preference than a design choice.  

Mert Alas & Marcus Piggott for Pop F/W 2002 via The Form of Beauty

I'm down with some Fifth Element hair.

But I can't just give Pantone a pass this year because that's no fun.  So grab your panties y'all - here comes my obligatory rant!  

Heeey... Tangerine Tango looks a lot like Tiger Lily....  here

Tangerine Tango follows a list of super jazzy shades of the past few years.  Shades that I'm only marginally okay with.  Nothing says living in 'The Great Recession' like cabana colors of yellow, tur-qwaz, pank and bright orange!!!!!!!


Per Pantone's press release this year:

The 2011 color of the year, PANTONE 18-2120 Honeysuckle, encouraged us to face everyday troubles with verve and vigor. Tangerine Tango, a spirited reddish orange, continues to provide the energy boost we need to recharge and move forward.

Oy.  You've been telling us to "recharge and move forward" with "verve and vigor" for the last four years and I don't think it's working.  My friends are still unemployed, I spent the afternoon at Goodwill and my Pantone-colored dildo collection STILL can't find financial backing!  Fuck your energy boost!  It's condescending and elitist.  (But if you're really looking for an energy boost might I suggest the vibrating cock ring in Color-of-the-Year 2008 Blue Iris?  Oh wait, you can't get that because this is a recession and I CAN'T GET MY BUSINESS OFF THE GROUND!!)

McQueen Spring 2012 via Vogue

If you're looking for the "radiant shadings of a sunset, Tangerine Tango marries the vivaciousness and adrenaline rush of red with the friendliness and warmth of yellow, to form a high-visibility, magnetic hue that emanates heat and energy.”  That you can buy as their Tangerine Tango journal to advertise you're a raging douchebag.  Or coffee mug.  It also makes a great addition to their holiday ornament collection.  Or folding chair.  Or probably KitchenAid mixer licensing deal orgasmisplosion.  Or double-ended monster butt plug where each end is shaped like the head of one of the Eames?  Eh? EH?!!?!!  *eyebrow wiggle*  Are you a Charles or a Ray?

via The Ray & The Ro

Pantone's rainbow paragraphs of optimism and sunshine don't really reflect how people are spending their money.  (Well, maybe the luxury market... I don't know, I've been at Goodwill.)  It reflects how Pantone feels optimistic about their own expanding brand because they want you to spend your money on them.  And stay in their hotel.   


According to my top secret sources at Heimtex this year, orange and copper were definitely there as accent colors.  However there were large quantities of dark blues and greys.  Well then...   And grey seems to be the color of the decade but that would make the most boring Fleshlight color ever. Grey doesn't fly of the shelves and onto your dick like Honeysuckit Pank does.*


If only there was some kind of gypsy fortuneteller - perhaps with a lovable hillbilly charm and a smile that would make New Gingrich divorce another wife - that could have foretold such a thing!!!!  CURSES!

Tangerine can also Tango with pank!  Honor Pre-Fall 2012 via Uncle Beefy

Granted, Heimtex is a home decor market and I tend to be focused on that one industry.  I guess that's where the Tangerine Tango Christmas ornament comes in.  I'm seeing a lot more "radiant shadings of a sunset" in fashion right now.  So it's no surprise to learn that Pantone is moving into the makeup business by teaming up with Sephora this Spring!  *gasp*  Yes, of course this year's color had to be super marketable and wearable because they want it all over your face.  (Full disclosure: If it smelled like Satsumas and had glitter I'd totally buy it.)

Alexander Straulino photography via Trendland

Seriously, this post is starting to look a lot like last year's post with all the pink and orange (hellooooo - Jil Sander did pink and orange waayy last year, ya'll).  But I actually do enjoy those colors together...  Not enough to make out with it but I would definitely flirt with it like a total slut.

Philipp Schaerer

Julia Kostreva via Design*Sponge

This is the kind of journal I would carry.  Not one with Pantone splattered all over the front.  That one smells of dark-rimmed glasses and cheap desperation.

Emily Lander

Even Mother Nature dances the Tango on occasion.

Scarlet-rumped Trogon via Featured Creature

NASA is so on trend:

Morganza Floodway

Granted, they invented Tang so I bet they are biased toward orange.

Confession: even though it usually does end up in college football territory, I have a weakness for blue and orange together.  I can't help it.

via ffffound

It's like American Beauty but in a complementary color combo that makes me happy.  Not cry like a little bitch at plastic bags blowing in the breeze.  

And I will admit that even though I'm not a huge fan of purple, I'm really enjoying the weird relationship it has with orange right now.   It probably started with the whole Hermezz box and lavender event of 2010 - remember?:

via The Selby

When is lavender going to be the color of the year?  Seriously, this shit is everwherr.

Stunning mineral photography from Warren Krupshaw via DesignCrush

Mother Nature approves of this Tango as well.

Tom Ford Nails

So does Tom Ford.

Lots more fun lavender and orange via Chapman Interiors

So obviously there are lots of good things about orange and I won't burden it with my seething indifference.  It's done nothing to me (accept look bad with my skin tone).  But I'm over the Pantone evil genius marketing monopoly on color.  Until they approve my licensing deal!!!  


And if 2013's color of the year is anything other than emerald green, grey, golden champagne, lavender or the color of my eyes in the morning, I will shove the Charles end of the double-ended butt plug so far up Pantone's ass they will burp molded plywood until 2014.


*Have I fulfilled my January non-resolution resolution??!  It's close enough, right?


MS Note: If you get these posts emailed to you, you may have receive a half-completed shitty post last night - sorry.  I accidentally hit publish and then had a mini panic attack and peed my pants.  Please disregard and pretend you never read it.  It's the nice thing to do.