If I had a band I would definitely write a song about zucchini butter.

In case you need a Brutalism break (WHY WOULD YOU??!), let's talk a walk on the gentler side of the sauce.  This side has butter and carbs and 100% concrete free.  But you could eat it NEAR a Brutalist building if that would help... Just sayin.

found on Design Blahg's Pinterest, originally on The Kitchn by Jennie Cooks

I found this recipe for zucchini butter on Pinterest, of course, because I'm not sure the internet exists outside of my boards anymore.  It caught my eye for several reasons #1 - I like to spread things on bread.  #2 - it has zucchini in it and I love zucchini.  #3 - it's "butter" so MOTHERFUCKIN DUH.


It's so easy even a lazy Madame can do it and would be awesome to use at the end of summer if you have tons of leftover zucchini from a garden.  I don't have that kind of garden but I've heard other people apparently grow things like that.  From the ground.  So weird...


The hardest thing you have to do grate 2 pounds of zucchini.  This takes about 5 minutes so quit your bitchin.  You'll have a mountain of green that you can then squeeze the zucchini juice out of.  I would probably save the zucchini juice (isn't that the name of a Live song?) for a soup or stock or something but I've been reading An Everlasting Meal which is AMAZESAUCE and I use every last disgusting morsel of food now.  We'll have to chat about that book later.

Melt a 1/4 cup of butter on medium heat and add in a two shallots or two cloves of garlic OR if you're cray cray like me - one of each.  Then dump in your fresh-squeezed zucchini pulp and cook for awhile.  I don't know how long, til it looks like a spreadable mushy butter - maybe 30 minutes?  I scorched the bottom of mine a bit but that's just extra flavor.  


Wow.  I'm awesome at recipes.  I should be a meth lab mentor with how exact I am at food science. 


Add some salt (a lot of salt) and pepper and that's it.  Chill it and then enjoy your bounty of green "butter" on toast or a Triscuit or your finger.  And enjoy you will.  I thought this stuff was super tasty.  It won't blow you away immediately but once it cools and the flavors gel overnight you'll find yourself thinking about it throughout the day wishing you could spread some on a shoe or a book or whatever the closest thing to you is.  


It's like pesto but milder and much more friendly.  Pesto can be such an aggressive beast sometimes.  Too much raw garlic gives me a headache.  


You know what never gives me a headache?  Zucchini.  Or butter.  Or Live's song Zucchini Juice.