This patio update would go a lot faster if Charlemagne will stop leaving dead birds on it.

Remember a few weeks ago when I said I was supporting gay marriage by not buying shitty outdoor furniture?  Well I think someone veeeerrrry important got the message.  But not anyone in North Carolina.  

So we are T-Minus 14 days until my patio party and I've been super busy.  Mostly busy not doing anything patio related because there's really only so much someone can do on a concrete slab.  But just in case anyone was losing sleep over the unfinished state of my concrete slab I'm here to ease your mind a bit.

Ease it with terrible pillows that I'm super in love with!

Totally dry-humpable.  Which is exactly what I was probably doing the last time these pillows were in style.  In other words, they're perfect for me!

Don't be fooled by that peek of bench up there - it's technically in the shape of a bench but there are no screws holding it together.  I could only handle 35% of building it before I lost interest.  By 'lose interest' I mean that I couldn't follow the fucking gibberish instructions that I think a Jamaican goblin wrote.  

But my thrift store and Tuesday morning adventures have made up for my decepti-bench.

Just some lanterns and brass things and some woven baskety things that I could shop for all day long.  Mr. Pink back there will get a coat of spray paint.  OR WILL IT?!  Spoiler alert: it will.  There's only one thing that can look junky on this patio and it's me.  Wait... I mean it's the pillows. 

My cafe string lights are purchased, ready to be hung by my gay husband and yes they are white. 

From Lights for All Occasions

I have a white ceiling so this was really the only option.  They aren't the really badass industrial ones that I wanted but damn if those aren't for lottery winners.  I had to have cafe string lights of some kind because without them my guests said they would set fire to the Ranch because of my shitty party-hosting skills.

They do not fuck around when it comes to patio parties, y'all.  You won't believe what they told me they'd do if I didn't have spinach dip.  

Monsters. 

So.... *whistles*  I NEED THE BEST SPINACH DIP RECIPE YOU'VE EVER EATEN!!