This makes me exceedingly happy.

You know what else makes me exceedingly happy in ironically related news?  Ted Haggard is finally free of his homosexual compulsions!!  Those latent gay tendencies are just so gosh darn annoying!  Thank gawd he had such a retarded sheep saintly woman as a wife to stay by his side during the last three years of poverty and therapy.  She did what any woman would have done and slept with him the day he confessed because nothing says I forgive you and your drug-taking, prostitute-fucking, hypocritical ass like a vagina hug.  She's pretty much like Jesus.  The kind of Jesus that doesn't hate gays of course. 

You know what else makes me exceedingly happy?  Unhappy hipsters. 

You know what else makes me exceedingly happy?  New readers.  Madame Sunday toasts to you tonight!  (With boxed wine in a plastic cup of course)