I was a beast this weekend doing loads of important things like yard work and buying makeup. Finding the perfect liquid liner is a feat that requires cunning and skill and should not be attempted haphazardly or without a strong dose of caffeine to fortify you on your quest. But not too much because a jittery hand makes for uneven application.
When I wasn't saving the world with my winged eyeliner I also emptied my closet of things that I would rather forget I actually spent money on and ended up donating 7 bags of former fabulosity to the Goodwill. I was so proud of all my hard work I rewarded myself with some playtime on the internet! Oh who are we kidding - I play on the internet all the time anyway but this time I didn't feel guilty like I should have been doing something productive instead. I had already saved the world with gently used slacks and a well kept lawn so I was free!
So I stumbled across this tumblr where things started out okay but then became increasingly buzzkill-y. Images that seemed so promising in a thumbnail or at first glance turned out to be weird, unnerving or just wrong.
For instance:
Ooh this looks sleek and dramatic! Lemme enlarge it:
here |
Oh now it's the saddest bathroom I've ever seen. If the sight of your dark face bleakly lit by those stupid industrial lights reflected in the skinny prison mirrors doesn't depress you enough just take a gander at the orphan portrait in the center. No amount of flowers will brighten up that morning. You had such promise in the thumbnail but now I'm just singing the songs from Oliver!!!!
But I didn't learn my lesson because hey this dining room looks pretty cool!
until...
here |
here |
here |
Wow. Those windows are like looking into the misty eyes of a unicorn and I could blog the shit out of some things in front of them. The desk/stair combo unit really rocked my world too until I realized there is no fucking stair rail! Maybe the rest of you people can tap into your internal Mary Lou Retton but I would die a really horrible bone-breaking death and probably land all up on your computer (I hope you backed up) if I put on a pair of high heels, wore socks, had to run down the stairs too fast to get to the fridge, had to run upstairs too fast to pee or just any normal daily activity where I'm actually walking, talking and breathing at the same time. Fuck you, B!
here |
here |
here |
I would so love to have a Flashdance moment in front of those windows and I'm a maniac for that ceiling! The low furniture seems cozy and holy ever-loving shit those are pallets! Fuck. Room = total ruination.
I also really liked this kitchen with it's oddly placed skylight (?) and pretty cabinets until I noticed the grouping of giant vegetables that looked like several people were going to be severely violated in the near future. Great. Now I'm totally turned off about this WHOLE space because of the ensuing salad orgy. Take heed stylists! Just use lemons. 9 out of 10 doctors agree they are the universally accepted food prop of bland interiors everywhere.
Lesson learned: eyeliner is its own reward.
Red lips too. I just didn't know if the world could handle both from me in the same weekend.
Lesson learned: eyeliner is its own reward.
here |
Ah ha ha ha ha ha!
ReplyDeleteEach and every photo a qualifier for "Your Thoughts Please."
I take that as a huge compliment!! The rooms should not.
ReplyDeleteI liked the pallet furniture!
ReplyDeleteDon't make me break up with you! It's even more weird when we're just friends...
ReplyDeleteI recently added "Sucker Punch" to my DVD library so I got a big fix of winged eyeliner which was nice, because a gray insane asylum is pretty depressing.
ReplyDeleteAnyway...
You can never have too much winged eyeliner, I always say! Let me know how you like Sucker Punch! Aw hell, I'll probably watch it even if you say it's bad...
ReplyDeleteYou had me laughing out loud! This needs to be an entire category on your blog. Great eye and too funny!
ReplyDeleteWell thank you Mrs. Susie and I will be happy to comply even if it means staring at weird interiors for long lengths of time... ; )
ReplyDeleteLove it, all as usual, Madame, now I am off to a busy, busy day and week. Stay saucy! XOXO
ReplyDeleteHow many Muppets dies to make that "fur vomit"?
ReplyDeleteZucchinis. Betcha can't grow just one!
Brenda - thanks for stopping by! Hope your day went well!
ReplyDeleteArne - Zuchinis: great for sharing!