Texas. It's the answer for everything. Except ninjas.

While in Louisville for the GE Monogram trip recently, we stayed at the 21c Hotel and Art Megaplex.  That's its full name.  Art was featured throughout the hotel and in the guest rooms and one particular piece caught my eye as I was stashing all the shampoo samples in my bag:

Well, hey there cowboy!  It's rustic AND glam?!  I love it.  I think this smells like sweat, leather and sparkle.  If you're wondering, sparkle smells like an angel shit glitter and then rolled it in a field of flowers that blossom new car smell.  This image was on a postcard in my room telling me to not steal the mint julep cups or something.  So I stole the card.

When I got home I had to do a little internet stalking.  The artist is Javier Pinon and he does dangerously squeeworthy things with some scissors and glue.  It's like I hit the motherload of all things I love. 

In addition to the whole kitschy collage angle there are SNAKES!  Y'all know I be lovin some snakes for some odd reason that I'm not even sure why.

AND there are vintage pinups.  Squee!  Javier, you are a dude with some scissors aimed straight towards a Madame's heart.  Wait - that didn't come out right...  

I wish I had a wig like that.  I'm already imagining my next Halloween costume.  I'll be Medusa circa 1965.  My fake eyelashes and kaftan haven't seen the light of day in a few years and are begging to get out!

Corral them snakes, girl, and get your duckface on because we're about to have a wardrobe 'malfunction.'  *wink, wink*

Maybe I could find two other willing participants and we could go as a group Halloween costume!

But wait - there's more!  And it's furniture related.  Even better!

Is he riding a chair twister?!  Yippee ki yay motherfuckers!  

I wish it would rain tacky furniture at my house.  But I would at least have the good sense to get out of the way.  Idiot.

If storms of ugly furniture and twisters aren't enough for you how about this?

Every cowgirl for herself!  I love this.  It's like I'm drowning in kitsch and honestly, if you're going to die by kitsch that's really the only way to go.

More from the Chandelier series:

If you really want to make an entrance I suggest chandelier swinging.  I find this to be a much more attention-grabbing way of transport than just plain old walking.  I don't know if you'll make it to Amarillo by morning but you can certainly try.  I would try damn hard if I thought George Strait would be there. 

Eight seconds, cowboy.

Ooohh with that sexy black background I think he's really getting into it...  So am I.  Check out plenty more here.

Maybe it's my Texan heritage that makes me like cowboys and snakes so much.  Actually, that also explains my white trash love for kitsch too...  Saying you're from "Texas" pretty much explains everything about everything.  It explains why I'm drawn to high heels, chandeliers, trailers, cheap booze, country music from the 80s and ninjas.  

Ok maybe not ninjas. 

Unless there is a secret sect of cowboy ninjas...  who ride CHANDELIERS!  

Now THAT'S what I'm going to be for Halloween!