Buh bye, Zombie Pit Stains.

If you're a homeowner and a three day weekend rolls around you think 'Yay! Extra time to fuck some shit up in my house!' rather than use that time to lay around for three days and read a good book and eat pretzel bites til you literally have no more saliva in your body.  Yum.  


So of course being the supreme owner of the ModSauce Ranch of fabulosity, I'm gonna celebrate this holiday by destroying my house and having absolutely zero down time to recuperate from it!  RAWWRRRR!!  


I decided to say a final farewell to my Zombie Pit Stain green living/dining/great room.  It was good while it lasted.  Kinda...


I just finished painting a mediocre china cabinet (which I'll be sure to tell you ALL about later!  Try to contain your panty-squeeing excitement.) for my dining room but would not allow myself to actually move it in until I repainted the walls.  This was my motivation because I can't do anything without giving myself an ultimatum.  


Or a cookie...

This is the only place in the living room that looks not vomitous.  Also, it's
waaaay more green in person.

Zombie Pit Stain is actually Behr's Coriander Seed.  I had a great/weird vision for the MS Ranch a few years ago when I moved in but sadly I just couldn't get it to work.  By the time I could have actually made it work I was tired of walking home to COLOR IN YER FACE every day.  But at the time I was in love with its dirty ochre-ness.


Other than a pink room (matched perfectly to a unicorn wallpaper border of course) I had as a tender young Madame, I'd never lived in a space that wasn't rental white.  


I'm starting to see how this might have influenced my unicorn love...  More self-realization in 3...2...1...


Therefore when I bought my house I painted every single room a color because OMIGAWD I WANT TO LIVE IN A RAINBOW!!!  But it turned out more like the White House with a blue room, a yellow room, a zombie pit stain dirty apple room and on and on and barf.      


But I've got all of that out of my system now and am spending this delightful holiday weekend forcing my paint palette to grow up.


There's not a pretzel bite in site but there are some Triscuits and a bit of tv in the background to keep me company including but not limited to episodes of Flipping Out, Annie, parts of the Bourne trilogy (I only pay attention during the fight scenes) and a Star Trek: TNG marathon to fill in.  


However I kept getting distracted by thinking about a Tim Curry and Punjab sandwich the tv so I had to change it to one of my gangsta rap Pandora stations.  This vastly improved my speed and swagger.


But the new paint is looking good even though my hands hurt and I'll still be edging this giant room all the way through next weekend.  Gawdammit.

NEVERending...!!!  And I forgot to take the switchplate off, dammit!

Remind me to tell the story of the wood paneling one day...


Sigh...  You've probably been laying by the pool drinking cocktails but I've been laying on my dirty floor wiping down the baseboards and discovering entire ecosystems of spiders in all my corners.  I've barely got the first coat on...  it's a big-ass motherfuckin room.  I've already accidentally broken a mirror and some framed art.  I wasn't even drinking yet!  


It'll look hawt when it's done of course.  But please - all you sensible renters and fun people - please enjoy an actual holiday weekend because I am too stupid to do the same.  The rest of us home-owning schmucks are busy making magic happen.


BTW, pro tip:  I forgot how insanely good Annie is.  You should definitely watch it again.  Try to dance and sing AWAY from any mirrors or art in your house.