Thursday, September 29, 2011

I attempted fabulosity 3 weeks ago and beige mediocrity finally ensued!

So remember 17 years ago when my living room looked like this?

Then I painted it and then went away for awhile and you totally forgot about how much you couldn't wait to see it?  

Well here it is in all its Benjamin Moore's Elephant Tusk glory!!
Let's have a vignette convo next time, huh?!
Wow!  It's so.... so.... beige.  I mean, Champagne Truffle Elephant Tusk Sunrise!!!!  It might appear super boring but I assure you it's the color of virgin angel wings (is there another kind of angel?) in person.  The room grew three times its original size and it feels so fresh and so clean clean up in hurr and not even the barest hint of zombie pit stain. 

A lot of people hate painting but I love it like I love organizing a closet or eating half a pizza.  All are tasks that require hard work and dedication but are so worth it.  The prep work makes me cranky (and I'm not talking about the special joy I have in choosing the paint color or deciding what toppings I want) but after that I can get into my zen space and I'm good until some part of me starts cramping which is usually my delicate lady hands.  The rollers with a 1.75 inch shag carpet nap that I need for my super textured plaster walls can hold up to twelve pounds of paint and that shit gets heavy.  

There were several life-altering pro tips gleaned during this painting party of one that you will no doubt want to record in your diary for future generations:

I used BM's ben paint which I actually really liked.  It's their low odor, low VOC option.  Normally I only go for the chemical-laden cheap shit because I can't afford $65 for a can of earth-hugging paint and I don't need some corporation making me feel guilty for not spending a few dollars extra. But this is their low-priced option too so I get to feel superior AND save some bank!  Only needed two coats (No primer. I'm a rebel like that.) over my cratered walking dead-colored walls and I was good.  This was also nice because it took me almost 24 total hours to prep, paint and edge the space so a third coat would have meant certain death.  

At about hour 20 things start to get fuzzy - the drip cloth gets tangled and left behind because fuck it, I'm awesome at this and don't even need a drip cloth, cat hair makes its way into the paint tray and I'm tired of squatting.  Having to sit on the couch in the middle of the room is really fucking up my feng shui too.

This time I also upgraded from the lame ole blue painter's tape to the cult classic FrogTape.

I don't know about y'all but I thought it was fantastic.  And lemme tell ya, I can edge like a motherfucker - drawing for a living has its benefits - but I have to tape off the baseboards.  I just do.  DON'T JUDGE ME!!!!  But my excellent taping skills are known throughout the land - possibly more than my edging abilities.  I have an old putty knife that I use to 'seal' the edges and I sit on a special taping off pillow that I scoot around the floor on and sing the "I have no legs song" like the guy from Kids except I don't beg for money.  You will just throw money at me though because I'm just. that. good.  If you look directly at my taping you'll cry from the sheer beauty of it.  Truth. 

Speaking of edging, I also upgraded to a nicer angled brush.

In the past I've used the little purple guy with the funky rubber handle because that's what someone gave me when I first started painting but they were looking rough after many years of abuse.  I don't know why I didn't get a Purdy this time other than I didn't want to be all boughie.  I thought the brush above worked great except I accidentally left it out when I was done and it dried into a giant hard paint stick.  Dammit. In my defense I was sidetracked by the 9/11 memorial coverage so I think that was a good excuse.  Small sacrifice.

Next time - Purdy.  Because I'm worth it.

Apparently I was only worth FrogTape this time.  I like to treat myself luxuriously like the fancy beige Madame I am.


  1. I love it even though I truly usually loathe beige. It adds class that's for sure! Great job!

    I am also with you on the love to paint boat. I get into some sort of peaceful trance when I am painting. So weird. and others think I am even stranger for loving it so much. Do others think the same of you? ;)

    We should have a "cutting-in off". I got skills too girl! We have ten foot ceilings in our abode, and I can cut in an -almost- perfect straight edge with my paint brush taped to a pole and me without ladder. One of the things I am quite proud of, lol. It's the little things right?

  2. Thanks, B2! It does class up the place... ; )

    I haven't taken a poll but I'm pretty sure others think I'm weird - whether or not it's related to the same trance-like state I have while painting like you do I'm not sure!

    Your challenge is accepted! It seems you possess skillz as well. *bow* I haven't tried cutting in with a pole but I can do it upside down.

    I'm envisioning a Zoolander walk-off but with paint... ; )

  3. I need some advice from you two on ceilings! Took me 2 1/2 coats of paint, a 6-foot ladder, a brush and 2 rollers, and I still got paint in my hair, on the wall, and on the light fixture. So now I have to paint the walls (which I hadn't intended to do for a while) because they are such a mess around the tape. Is it because I used blue tape instead of green?

  4. Unless you plastic bag your hair and light fixtures - shit's gonna happen. I wear a do rag for fashion and ease of cleaning. Any paint drips I usually let dry and then scrape off (if it's latex) - sooo much easier!

    As for the tape - it's not so much the blue instead of green (although I could tell a big difference) as the "seal" you make on the edge - that's why I use a putty knife to force the tape down. But that only works on perfectly smooth surfaces (like glossy baseboards) and not when transitioning from a wall to a ceiling that is usually textured. Also, doing one light coat and then a heavier coat 2nd helps so I don't flood the taped edge with paint. Learned that the hard way!

    But maybe the FrogTape will be better at textured areas with their paint seal technology or whatever it is they call it?? Cutting in by hand is the way to go if you can do it!!

    Sorry about your "new" project!!

  5. I think I didn't seal properly and flooded the taped edges. Also, I just taped the light fixture, I didn't bag it. Learning the hard way. But trying to save money doing some things myself since I just blew $600 at the framers yesterday (for 3 things, not just the one). Merry early Xmas to me?

  6. The hard way is the only way I know how to learn things I think. I try to pass on my lessons to y'all. Should I do more DIY tips and tricks then?

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and Happy Birthday, et al. But those prints are going to be BADASS!