Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Incredible Shrinking Madame

I spend my days slaving away on the computer, reading decor magazines and writing essays on 'zombie pit stain' green.  It's exhausting and I just hum the tune of "16 Tons" in my head all day long while my soul dies a little bit more each day.  But to counter these soul-crushing effects I traded my office chair for a giant champagne glass filled with bubbly (ok it's just Miller High Life but that's the champagne of beers so it's the same) to bring a bit of fabulosity to the work day.   It's just like Beyonce in this video except throw in a laptop...

Yeah.  There's a soundtrack to this post.  Usher also makes a cameo because he's from Chattavegas.

I just adore surrounding myself in overscaled items that make me feel tiny and delicate - just like Tinkerbell. But more ghetto fab like the Beyonce video and soaked in alcohol.  So when I leave the office I like to hop in my giant tube of lipstick with wheels and drive home to my giant disco ball that I live in.

I live here and this guy was nice enough to post pictures of it.

I like to collapse on my Heller Bocca couch...

And turn on my giant Anglepoise lamp,

...chillax and ponder what other grotesquely overscaled items I might want to purchase.  What I'd really like to do is chillax in a giant oversized bathtub of some kind because my skin is getting dehydrated from being away from my Miller High Life champagne bath that I soak in all day at work.  So you could imagine my surprise and delight when I stumbled across these beauties:


Normally I like to leave my giant shoe adventures for singing across Australia

but now I can have it in the comfort of my own home! AND with bubbles! Double squee!!  Of course my life won't be complete until I'm completely surrounded in my bathroom by oversized items like one of my favorite movies of all time:
It's like being in Alice in Wonderland without the hallucinogenic drugs.  Or is it...?!

Did I mention it comes in pink?!

Forget the disco ball, I'd like to permanently live in this now.  I'd fill this tub up with Miller High Life champagne and continue the rest of my days as a booze-soaked (decidedly un-naughty) drag queen mermaid known as Madame Sunday.  

Can you hand me that giant oversized loofah?

[MS sidebar: make sure to visit the other blogs who participated in today's shoetub challenge; Cupboards Online (purveyor of shoetub fabulosity), Kitchen and Residential Design, Avente Tile, Ecomod, DogWalkBlog and Fun and Fit]


  1. One giant loofah, coming right up. :D

  2. I need some serious exfoliation! ; )

  3. The lady on the shoe reminded me of a comment Mom made about these shoetubs last night... She wanted to know if there was a ladder to the top so you could slide down.



  4. Love it...I got the Alice and Wonderland feel too....or the feeling that you're about to be squished. I wonder if you slide to the bottom to be cramped all up like you do when you where ridiculous heels like that? Anyway, great post.

  5. @Nick - Weeeeeeeee! It would be a blast too since I might be drunk on champagne!!

    @Amy - good point! after spending a day in heels do I really want to come home and continue to be tortured while I'm bathing?! Gah! Thanks for commenting!

  6. Squee too much in this tub and you'll need a giant squeegee. WIth glamour comes that hideous thing called housecleaning. Thought for the day - fill the tub with the MIller High Life then sip the real bubbly while in it. Then call the fire dept to help you climb out. Those firefighters are known to be cute. When you build your 3D ranch, be sure to include the giant disco ball. Or you can borrow Fun and Fit's. We LOVE disco. By the way, this is Kymberly. Alexandra is too busy trying to fit the shoe tubs onto her feet. Please clue her in.

  7. FIRE DEPARTMENT!!! yessss! fire fighters also make me feel tiny and delicate so I need to have a few of those around at all times too. It'll make the disco fevah dance parties so much more fun with a sexy entourage!

    Thanks for stopping by and commenting Kymberly!

  8. What a fun journey this post and the ensuing comments provided. Thanks!

    I'll stay away from the tubs, since I don't want to feel tiny and delicate.

  9. LOL, you forgot that you sleep in a giant heart-shaped bed!

  10. @Avente Tile - I don't know anything about you but I can tell from your miniscule picture that you are far too handsome and brawny to feel delicate around these tubs. But best to avoid them just in case... Thanks for gracing MS with your manly presence!

    @Heather - ha! I don't know how I could forget since I had it shipped straight from Vegas circa 1973!