Friday, November 13, 2009

A jolly rancher and the importance of graphic designers

Since we all have to say buh-bye to Met Home soon I've been spending some time over at their website remembering all the reasons why I don't read their magazine.  For every five homes I gaze upon only one looks actually livable.  And by livable I mean not devoid of all human presence like their other features and seemingly interesting enough to read the article for a few minutes until I physcially choke on the pretentiousness.  It's okay to go ahead and break the rules and match my furniture to my museum-quality art pieces you say?  oh tee hee you rakish design devils we're breaking all the rules now!  What furniture goes best with my favorite piece of art?

Once I unlocked the secret to navigating their horrible website (no wonder you're folding Met Home!) I found this rockin pad in southern California.   The designer lady says decorating rules are made to be broken.  I bet she matches her furniture to her art.

Table love already.  White Brno chairs?  Delicious.  Cabinets and counters are perfectly simple.  Maybe too simple?  I'm getting pretty tired of those "euro" handles but I will let them slide this time. They might not seem so bland when it comes kitchen time for me.

Keep talkin kitchen.  I like what you are saying.  Farmhouse sink in  SoCa rancher kitchen?  You really DO break all the rules! 

 Another dining room?  Hells yeah!  I bet they play pin the tail on the mid-century donkey every nite and whoever loses has to sit on the tiny stool at dinner.  And why couldn't you mix up the dining chairs?  It looks like a game of red rover is getting ready to take place right after the fondue party.

Swankified.  Although the seating arrangement isn't really conducive to, well, anything it sure makes for a pretty picture. HI DOGGIE!!!!  However please note the photoshop fail in the bottom right corner. Really Met Home?  Was that the best you could do??  Completely straight arm but the rest of the couch is in perspective???!!!!!!    So your entire magazine features kabillion dollar homes but you're too cheap to spring for a tech geek to move a few pixels around??  Did you even fucking try to fool me??   Jesus.   Nice coffee table though.  BYE DOGGIE!!!!!

Yeaaaah chilrens.  But beware the banister of death.  I'm so clumsy if I even look at that railing it'll shatter into a million pieces and blind me before even had a chance to cling to the beautiful kelly green door.  I see you over there you shy girl.

 Ok exterior walkway and awesome mutant tree totally make up for the photoshop problems inside.  Hi-five to you lady who breaks all the rules.

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