Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Have computer. Few skills. Will blog.

Madame's Sunday's real job is a designer of sorts where I actually do get paid to talk about color and design.   It is absolutely essential for keeping the Earth spinning on its axis I assure you.   I'm not just some useless yet gorgeous cartoon civil rights attorney with a dirty fetish for shelter mags.  I can decorate and Polyvore some shit up with only mediocre skills though and that's cool.  ModernSauce is a safe place for making mistakes and sharing snark (we might need to investigate a safeword just in case...).  Unless of course there is a real job out there involving playing on the internet all day and making fantasy sets on Polyvore because I TOTALLY want that job and would become instantly better at it!  For wads of sweaty crumpled cash.  But apparently I shouldn’t really try that hard because this is what I saw on Apartment Therapy today:
What. The. Fuckity Fuck? 

This isn’t really my taste so I’m just going to overlook the furniture choices and the CORAL rug in a cherry blossom inspired room because style is subjective. Or is it taste? I need to consult Tim Gunn on that…  What I can't overlook is the weak direction and sad layout that make my design heart hurt (that could be the burritos I had for dinner).  I always take AT with a grain of salt because quantity does not equal quality but if THIS is a serious post of a decorating attempt coming from one of the leading design blogs in the world I really need to quit trying so hard. Or get a job there. What kind of qualifications does it really take to fuck up a polyvore set this badly or write a post like this?

Maybe it's just jealousy talkin...?  

mmmhhhhh...???   *brief yet shallow soul search*... nope.  I think it's just the wine talkin.  And probably those four grilled stuft burritos I had for dinner.  MS note: Taco Bell ground beef might induce hallucinations in large quantities.  It might even cause horrible Polyvore sets now that I think about it...  I should give the author the benefit of the doubt and just blame the value menu at Taco Bell.  I think a lot of the world's problems are probably their fault anyway. 

Just in case things get too rough in the future our safeword is banana hammock. 


  1. Never give Apartment Therapy the benefit of the doubt. Ever.

  2. I feel like you might have some insider gossip which I'm positively itching to hear about...

    If gossiping wasn't wrong of course. ; )

  3. Nothing beyond the usual idle speculation. I don't think they pay their contributors much if anything. They force them to use that insipid AT style (lose the damn royal we already) and they seem to reward them somehow for praising what the collective mind likes and deriding what the collective mind derides. "We like puppies and organic sheets!" "We hate chemicals and mean people!"

    Ugh. I get one or two posts into it and I have to quit reading. Most interesting of all is that AT back links to me twice and I have a productive side line mocking them for their stupidity. Now that's what I call a win/ win.

  4. Yum! Looks like you get to have your chemical-filled cake and eat it too! And you probably sit around and eat it with all your mean friends. You know - the ones who aren't just mindless gushers.

  5. The author of "Cherry Blossom..." has no right to use the word "informed."

  6. Oh and my mean friends and I eat our chemical-filled cake with relish.