Thursday, June 17, 2010

They're only guilty pleasures if you ACTUALLY feel guilt.

If you've learned anything from reading ModSauce it's don't drink and blog don't be ashamed of what you love.  Unless you love chalkboard walls.  Or bar carts.  And even then the Madame doesn't really care as long as you have a box of wine nearby.  Actually I take great pleasure in the horrible, the ugly, the tacky, she says as she sets down the plate of Totino's Pizza Rolls next to the collection of shell animals.  Here is a list of things that I shouldn't like but do.  No-no's just became yes-yes's.

I think this is going to read like a white trash manifesto...

For starters, this print.  Normally I can't stand shit like this - it's girly, blurred like a Barbara Walter's camera lens and looks like my grandmother threw up on etsy.  But I love it.  I don't want to buy it but if I took that picture I'd totally squee.

stax&cane (NSFW!) via ffffound
Neck tattoos.  They're pretty much like saying "Fuck you 401k"  but I happen to find them quite delicious.  I think this Crispen Glover guy either wants to start a gang fight or make out.  I'm dfw.  I think he's dfw too except if it involves a committed monogamous relationship with a classy Madame.  Let's give it a go but stay out of my investment portfolio you sexy loser.

The movie Hot Rod.  It's horrible.  I'd watch it every day of my life if possible.  After lunch we should have a designated Hot Rod:30 every day - like a siesta.  But for idiots.   I would have said Talladega Nights but honestly that movie is so awesome I can't really find anything to be ashamed of by liking it so it doesn't make the cut for this post.

a tumblr somewhere?
Speaking of hot rods - I don't usually give a shit about cars because I'm a lady person that completely despises all forms of sexism and discrimination unless they work in my favor like avoiding the draft, not paying for meals on dates or understanding cars.  But this is a sexy ride of vintage fabulosity in orange and blue looks like it might be in Mongolia which is pretty much all of my favorite things rolled up together.

Just shut your gawddammed mouth right now.

from flickr
Trailers.  I like the real ones the most of course but these tiny plastic models for a vintage train set are equally awesome.  I own this model just for shits and giggles.  My native South is the trailer's natural habitat and you will find them often scattered amongst quarter million dollar houses (because property value is irrelevant to hillbillies) or gathered all together in herds.  As gawd intended.

Psychics.  I don't believe in Jesus but I'm totally down with mind-readers and clairvoyants because those people are the real guardians of my soul.

Lonny magazine.  I shouldn't like it - it's cliche, unoriginal and tries just so damn hard (and succeeds) in making most bloggers cream their design panties.  But I don't care.  It's girl porn of over-the-top cliche styling, bad lighting and forced appeal which is perfectly fine once a month.  Or special occasions.  I am fully aware that lucite is the decor equivalent of acrylic stripper heels but that doesn't mean it won't make my legs look longer or my coffee table more stylish.  DON'T JUDGE ME!!!  Also it's totally free - like the fanciest blog content ever and we all know the blogs are the most awesomenest things of all times and deserve gold medals in the Fabulosity Olympics.

I don't think anybody is giving out medals for obsessions with neck tattoos or amount of pizza rolls consumed but if there is somebody let me know.


  1. I think that the last time there was a 'quantity of pizza rolls eaten', medal awarded, in the games, was at Helsinki in 56'

    It was won by Germany's Hans 'The Mouth' Grubber. I believe he also won the pizza roll sprint that year, but don't quote me on that.

  2. Hans Grubber better still be alive so I can kick his ass in the pizza roll eat-off.

  3. I had forgotten that Whoopi was in that cast!

  4. You forgot? I'm totally revoking your nerd card...

  5. I'm pretty sure Whoopie lives near my house. I think I saw her a couple times, but I can't swear to it - she wasn't wearing that awesome blue hat. But other people were pointing and whispering. One lady totally went up to her and lent her a quarter for the parking meter, so it musta been someone important.

  6. Nice. Mongolia? No, more like south Portugal.
    Very close, like neighbors. lol

  7. I have a thing for Mongolia (clicky click on hyperlink in the post to find out why) but maybe I should also explore Portugal! It's probably pretty badass too.