Monday, October 18, 2010

Kitchen Tawlk

Soooo....  I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before but I've got a kitchen to remodel.  I'm still searching through the dregs of Chattavegas to find a contractor so while my days are spent hiding sharp objects from myself so I don't slit my wrists once the constant wine buzz wears off let's talk about other prettier things to distract me.   

Specifically kitchens with white cabinets... 

absolute panty explosion via Desire to Inspire
Cuz I want one.  There are tons of white accents in the ModSauce Ranch (including but not limited to Charlemagne) and white seems to always blend nicely in an older home or look crisp for a more contemporary feel and works for anything in between.  There's also no way in hell you can nicely coordinate my purty hardwood floors and wood trim in the rest of the house with anything my kitchen budget can afford.  So white it is. 

And I'm gonna get one with the help of this dude:

Look how cute we are together!

Meet Nick from Cupboards.  You might already know him because you probably found this blog through his Twitter @cupboards.  Even though Nick is three hours away in Alabama he assured me that long-distance kitchen design is not as impossible as my wormhole diagram illustrated.  In fact it's rather common which was a surprise to me because I'm scared of kitchen "showrooms" and had resigned myself to a bland Home Depot kitchen a long time ago.  Not that there's anything wrong with a Home Depot kitchen because broke ass beggers like me can't be choosers.  Or CAN we...???!!!!  Nick is showing me the way of kitchen designers that don't wear aprons and that schmucks like me CAN afford them. 

Coburn Architecture via Desire to Inspire
MS: Hey Nick I know I live in the ghetto but can you throw in that fridge for me too?! kthanxbye

Look at all that yummy whiteness Nick!  LOOK AT IT!!!!

2 from Hus & Hem via Desire to Inspire
MS: Hey Nick don't forget to include the brick oven fireplace in the center of my 100 square foot kitchen. 

Nick: Sure.  You can use it to burn that wallpaper.

Skona Hem via Desire to Inspire

MS: Ok I know this kitchen isn't white but can we hold hands and bask in its sheer awesomeness for a minute?

Nick: Stop touching me.

2 from's photostream

MS: Hey Nick guess who....

Nick: Candice Olson.

MS: Damn you're good!  I'll take this but with 87% less Candice.

The Estate of Thing's photostream
 But I'll take 100% of this.

MS: Fucking fuck I need to laminate this picture because this is straight up kitchen porn for me.  Can I have everything in this picture times twelve?

Nick: You said your budget was $50...

MS: So we need to subtract .50 for the laminating and then we're good to go right?

MS: Hey Nick can we...

Nick: No.

Boston Design Guide here
MS: Ok but what about...

Nick: No.  But I'll throw in the flowers.


Stay tuned as the process unravels. 

Or one of US unravels first.  My bet's on me because I'm barely hanging by a thread as it is.


  1. Your kitchen porn photo has no wall cabinets. I don't recall seeing that before. Is that so you can more easily access your dishes after indulging in too much wine? You're always thinking, Madame, always thinking.

  2. David - I'm a smart one I am. Honestly I'd have to be drunk all the time because my back would get sore from bending down so much. But that's why it's porn because it's fantasy! ; )

  3. lovely photos madame (and not sure if this moves the convo forward, but...) >> really excited to see what you two super talents come up with!

  4. David - sorry to crush your silicon dreams.

    jb - me too!

  5. What? Porn's not real? Then how did I earn all this money? And what will I do with the big pole in my living room? I'm going to go help David be depressed.
    Say, Nick, if you can help Her Sauciness with just a three hour drive, just think what you could do for my piece of crap kitchen that's, um, more than three hours' drive.
    I can't wait to hear how this unravels. I means "pans out."

  6. Alexandra - hands off. Nick is hopelessly devoted to me until this process is done. After that you are welcome to do your best on your pole... ; )

  7. Okay, sigh....Guess I'll go try to earn some money somehow so I can afford Nick after you're done with him. Of course, by then he'll be all used so maybe I'll get a discount, especially if he's covered in lard or cheap wine.

  8. You got it goin on sistah. White cabinets rock. This humble kitchen designer gives you the thumbs up.

  9. Welcome to the Sauce Gloria and I appreciate your thumb support! I don't know if *I* got it goin on but Nick is going to help me get there. ; )