I'm a lucky Madame because I have a great group of friends with lots of special talents (and strong muscles) that I get to benefit from. It's the Law of Friends that if you have a special skill you have to share it with your homies. For instance, if you have a friend that's great at baking then you get cake a lot. If you have a friend that's great with technical stuff then they can help you set up your Nintendo 64.
It's always good to reciprocate with your own special talents because it's polite and it's the second Law of Friends. Sadly, I have no special talents other than being really good at scratching backs (or your scalp if that's your thing) or having a dildo joke ready for any occasion. Funeral? "I'm sorry for your loss. Your grandmother lived a full and long, long life. Seriously, that skank old. I bet her dildo was scrimshawed."
Sometimes if it's an especially somber funeral I can follow with a whale bone pun but that's only for emergencies. You're welcome, friend. *hug*
One of my super saucy friends and bloggers in crime - Slade Roberson - just so happens to have the power of the unicorn people for doing psychic shit as his special talent. So in accordance with the Law of Friends I asked him to read my aura. DON'T YOU ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME!!!! We don't pick our talents. Do you think I want to think about your grandmother's special hope chest or scratch your pimply back?
Well, I do kinda like scratching...
After a glass of wine and some prodding it turns out the colors best associated with me - my general aura - (not the minute-by-minute changing one; think bigger picture) is purple and yellow. More precisely, dusty plum and sunshine yellow. What kind of Mardi Gras/Lakers shit is this?
I think my friend used his powers to reach into my brain and pull out my least favorite colors. This Law of Friends thing is bullshit! Also, I need friends that are more familiar with the color wheel and what season my skin tone is.
However, in auraspeak (it's like unicorn whispers but with more rainbows) purples are good. It means I'm in touch with my spiritual psychic abilities - motherfucking DUH. Gypsy fortuneteller, here! Yellow indicates creative energy and bright yellow means my creativity shoots out of me like a Care Bear stare directly into the universe. Well, just take a look around this corner of the Interwebz and I guess we have our proof.
I was stoked after learning this info but still pretty fucking disappointed in the actual colors themselves. Why couldn't my aura consist of colors I like and look good in? Like deep teals and emeralds and plums and oh shit I do look good in purples. Still... Not my favorites.
So I've been sitting on this color combo of my soul spirit for several months trying to forget it. *shakes fist at aura* But no matter how hard I try it keeps popping up in random places - interiors I like, the graphics on wine boxes, etc. And then this:
Thought it was time to give ye olde avatar a mini makeover and after playing around with colors, this was my favorite background. Well poop. I guess my friend Slade gets back-scratches for life.
Seems like the goldenplumrod color combo subconsciously worked it's way into the sauce. OR WAS IT THE OTHER WAY AROUND????!! I don't understand psychic unicorn magic but apparently I channel it when I draw.
I guess I also subconsciously channel this:
Because of course if I'm going to subconsciously channel a hairstyle it would be from a slutty gossip that makes really good ambrosia.
Goldenplumrod is going to dominate your twitter stream for 2012, y'all. Get used to it.
But if you don't like it I could scratch your back...