Tuesday, February 21, 2012

A house fit for a drunk mermaid. Hint: that's ME!

Fuck red shacks.  You are dead to me.  I want to vacation inside a seashell!  Wheeeee!!!!

I realize this might be harder to find families with abandoned seashell-looking four-wheeler storage on their property just begging to be inhabited for a week by a saucy freeloader but I'm desperately trying to get my mermaid on like Donkey Kong here.

I found these on An Ambitious Project Collapsing and learned they come from someplace called Flying Concrete.  Take to the sky, composite of whatever the hell is in concrete!  Flying Concrete is a dude from Mexico who designs, builds and teaches YOU how to build these things.

That's right.  I can build this at the Ranch.  I smell a weekend project coming on....

In 2015.

Maybe we can have a No Expectations party and all do it together!  Do you like how I just invited you to a party where you have to build an entire house?  It'll be so joyous you'll forget you're working as are all my parties!  Except for the time I had a party and lost the wine bottle opener.  I also lost some friends that night...

But THIS party will have enough accessible booze to make my neighbors form a prayer circle to beg mercy for our heathen souls.  It'll be like a drunken barn raising back in pioneer days except probably with more gays.  Just imagine that scene from one of my all time favorite movies Seven Brides for Seven Brothers where they raise the barn and then all dance together in perfectly choreographed harmony and gingham.

For all my recent new followers - welcome!  And don't worry, you are invited to the barn raising/flying concrete party too.  I don't want you to feel left out and the choreography is really easy to learn.  I'll make you an extra big cocktail.

New readers made their way here because I was lucky enough to be mentioned in an Apartment Therapy post about funny bloggers with the likes of the Dowager Countess herself My Favorite and My Best; Design Crisis; Me, You and a Wiener; Ugly House Photos and a few other gems.  Hell, let's invite them all too!

This is going to be the best party EVAR!
Just look at what we'll build!  I love organic architecture like this.  Back in ye old design school I used to draw shit like this all the time.  My teachers hated me.  Probably with good reason because I hadn't the foggiest idea of how to build it or spec it but by gawd I could render the fuck out of it.  They totally stifled my creative energy.  Stop harshing my mellow, assholes!  All I had to do was contact Flying Concrete and he could've hooked me up.  Done.

But now I know where I can get details on mermaid house fabulosity.  With Elven doors.  

Wait, mermaids can't walk through doors...  I may have to rethink this theme.

I will definitely be having some of that clerestory window hotness and vagina-like detailing at my "entrance."  

Wait, mermaids don't have vaginas either...  Fuck!  This metaphor is going horribly awry.

But I think that mermaids, elves, my nosy neighbors, ginger Broadway musical stars and ModSauce party guest/construction workers can all agree that we can party like it's 1899 in this fairyland cavern porch.

I can set up some kind of screen and we'll all watch Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.  It'll be magical.


  1. Rock out with your caudal fin out.

  2. Given the mermaid metaphor challenges, I'd say stick with the red shacks (K)

  3. Screw the shack nonsense, let's build a giant concrete mermaid shell to put OVER THE RANCH. No halfway measures! You need an extended vaginal walkway/entrance! What could possibly go wrong?!

    1. Yes - that would be insanely awesome! There is nothing that could go wrong with this plan - I love the way you think Ish. You'll get an extra cocktail and first one through the vaginal 2nd floor entrance!

    2. Woot! I'll bring all my disgusting Halloween ideas! We'll show them Vagina Monologues!

    3. Best Halloween/Vagaina Monologues/barn raising EVAR!!