Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Some saucy tidbits that the Ying Yang Twins don't care anything about.

Here are some super important things that have come to my attention this week that I want you to know about.

Because I'm a giver.

Also, I'm a bit drunk because I've discovered the best new boughie cocktail that I just made up.  It's called a Frappuccini.  It involves a Starbucks bottled frappuccino - the stuff that I was addicted to in high school but now limit it to when I get a truck stop bacon, egg and cheese biscuit which is both way too many times and not as often as I want it to be.

So if you have some leftover from your truck stop biscuit run in the morning, I would recommend pouring in some vanilla vodka that night and then your shit is on and poppin.  You can probably shake over ice in a martini shaker over just stir it all up in a mason jar.  I'll let you guess which one I did.

I don't have measurements because I don't measure anything and it's pretty hard to fuck this up.  You could also throw in some Godiva liqueur if you have some laying around...  

I might drink bottled frappuccinos from truck stops but every classy Madame has Godiva liqueur in her fridge.  Drink up, boughie babies.


I love these little shelters built by students at Taliesen West (Frank Lloyd Wright's home and architectural studio) photographed by the dudes from BUILDblog.
Apparently, the students build them and live in them at the same time.  

I would like one for my backyard.

I don't really know how I could build around the crates of sunscreen I would need were I to attempt something like this but I guess that's part of the design challenge.


Lonny came back this weekend after taking a break for a few months due to lack of dinero and probably just general economic fuckery thanks to our shitty financial sitch.  It's probably because I've been forcing my employer to buy my birth control pills and they can't invest in new manufacturing facilities because my vagina has needs, yo.  Slut needs.

But I was glad to see it back in my inbox - Lonny that is - even if I'm pretty sure they publish the same lucite and chintz bedroom every issue.  

But they also came back with these pages:

Notice that giant snake pillow on bottom right? Kinda hard to miss. 
I understand the need for advertisers and incoming cash and have zero problem with entire pages devoted to their wonders - hell, I just want pretty pictures and don't really care who people have to blow to get them - but that $3800 stuffed snake in the corner isn't "playful" as you describe, it's insulting.  

Check yourself, Lonny.  Fuck yourself, maker of $3800 snake pillow.


After my kitchen remodel last year I feel like all us remodelers are part of a family.  A very large, very poor family that bond over our shared nightmares and facial tics.  So I get kinda obsessed about looking at other people's real world renovations.  Not magazine renovations with $3800 stuffed snakes but people like us!  People like us that appreciate the finer things in life like Frappuccinis.   

So I was obviously excited to see the super fresh kitchen renovation of my blog friend @CapreeK of MAIYA.

The before:
Brown explosion. 

The after:
Shout out to another kitchen that keeps the existing white appliances!
Panty Explosion.  It's amazing what some new paint, tile, countertops and thousands of hours of pain and suffering can do to transform a space.  I feel my facial tic coming on...  

Keeping the existing floor and painting the cabinets themselves (daaaang, y'all), it's nice to see someone work with what their mama gave 'em.  

Hhhmm... methinks glass tile for my bathroom? One day...
Um... girl, I hope your mama did not give you those weirdo sex toys up there on the left...?!  Or are they salt shakers?  Regardless, there is probably a Ying Yang Twins song that applies to this kitchen somehow.  

You twerked that kitchen good.


After we went to the window and then to the wall let's go to space!!

"In order to use the litterbox, you must first create the universe."  Cat Sagan, you are so wise.
I just found the Cat Scientist tumblr.  It makes me exceedingly happy.  

Combined with a Frappuccini, the awesomeness might make my brain explode and then there would be glittery sauce everywhere.  Until it would drip down your balls...

I think the only bad thing that happened this week is that Ying Yang Twins have not responded to my repeated requests to release a new album.  Just wait'll you see my $3800 snake!  It will beat you up.  And then maybe you could nap on it.

Maybe Cat Sagan can talk some sense into them.


  1. SKEET SKEET - how I love that song

    1. I danced many-a-time to this opus at da club. Ahh... sweaty memories.

  2. If I replaced those wooden sex toy finials with a giant snake pillow, would you love me more or less?

    And thanks for the awesome shout out to my brown-explosion-turned-fresh-and-clean-clean kitchen makeover! I'm going to throw in another hyphen, because I feel like maybe I forgot one: -

    1. Uh, definitely less. Congratulations on your awesome renovation! Its looks marvelous and makes me want to shake it like a salt shaker.

  3. How did I miss that fancy pants snake in Lonny? That's hilarious. And stupid. And insulting. Agreed.

    1. Obviously you were blown away buy the $12,000 dining room table on the page before and couldn't even focus on snake pillows! It happens...

  4. Good Lord, that kitchen! I want to slither on that island like I was in a Whitesnake video.

    Must go blast Ying-Yangs twins at a sleeping baby now...

    1. I'm glad I'm not the only person that chooses to express her joy by reenacting '80s hairband videos.

      Wake that baby up, girl!

  5. I bought white appliances for my kitchen on purpose which probably explains why I was never uber crazy about Lonny in the first place.