Monday, February 22, 2010

Indulge me. Your Monday will thank me by the end.

Imagine if you would an ancient mystical world of musical Middle Earth that was divided into peaceful, yet equally awesome, bands of people. Faced with the destruction of the world as we know it Gandalf and Jesus got together the guitar hero of each band to create a trifecta of panty-exploding musical awesomeness and sent them to destroy the evil that is the Eye of Nickelback. I give you Them Crooked Vultures.

It consists of Dave Grohl from Foo Fighters, the sexiest badass ginger to ever live Josh Homme from the best current metal band Queens of the Stone Age and John Paul fucking Jones from Led Zeppelin. The Clear Channel clouds parted, a group of tattooed angels descended and your ears just touched heaven.  I never really understood all those bitches from the 80's who would grind all over a pole to a Whitesnake song until I heard QOTSA’s Songs for the Deaf album. It made me want to get a wind machine and roll around the hood of car spread eagle.

Madame Sunday with sexy music video hair

I guess if we're being honest I first got that tingly feeling that made me want to give lapdances to badasses when I discovered Led Zeppelin but I was only 12 or 13 and I just felt so confused and alone. Dear God, it’s me Madame Sunday. Do other girls feel this way?  This TCV song also makes me want to do that but I don’t think my work desk has the strength to support my sexy hair tossing and rhythmic crotch thrusting. Since I’m listening to it on my ipod my coworkers would also be really confused and scared and pray about me later. They don’t understand me like you people do! You do right? Do you? DO YOU?????

So in an effort to make this relate to something that is design-y and not just gushing over something that makes me squee my panties I decided to design a room for Them Crooked Vultures. A true rocknrolla room because surprisingly Elle D├ęcor is really lacking in the ass-kicking sleazy den of sex, drugs and rock and roll editorial department. Margaret Russell needs to get on it.  And by ‘it’ I mean JPJ’s grandpa lap. Josh Homme’s lap is presently occupied by yours truly.

stairway to heaven
Oh yeaaahh. Some shit’s going down in there. I laid the foundation with some Graham and Brown Skulls wallpaper and a Vivenne Westwood Union Jack rug. The English references and 70’s bubble chair is for JPJ. I thought it might make him feel at home. They all needed a nice long black chesterfield sofa in leather for napping and easy clean-up after bending groupies over the big rolled arms.  To keep the party going a fine selection of beverages that may or may not be used to set this place on fire when they're done.  The Mentos are for Dave Grohl and if you don't know why you need to review your Foo Fighters videos.  Same with the deer heads and light bulbs.  Well they're QOTSA references that probably only Madame Sunday gets but let me tell you this whole thing is so fucking clever it should win the Pulitzer of self-indulgent obscure references or something.  Hellooooo Tolkien and Led Zeppelin??!!    

Have you made it to the super awesome head bangin part of the song?  My panties literally exploded and the hood of the card is so hot you could cook an egg on it.  A sexy egg.  A sexy vulture egg?   

Whatever.  Enjoy the rest of your day. 

You're welcome.

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