Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Photoshop does a body good

All these pictures hit the digital world last week but I'm still on Santa time so don't yell at me.  I'M FRAGILE!!!!  FRA-GI-LAY.  Here's a saucy spread from V magazine's size issue for January where they explore the beauty of ALL bodies big and small.  Whatever - don't patronize me with your oh-so-generous inclusion of non-traditional beauties and the hypocrisy that is Karl Lagerfeld who once said this.  Thanks for the effort though. 

So here's the deal - two models: one "model" size and one plus size.  Crystal Renn is the plus size model, Wikipedia says she's a size 12 although she barely looks bigger than a 10 to me but that's still a Fatty McButterpants in the fashion world.  Regardless she gave good face and owns this photoshoot.  Neveryoumind about the ankle socks/sandal combo, pattern overload and photoshopping - it's FANTASY bitches!  Next time you see Madame Sunday out perusing the aisles at Home Depot I'll be in a leotard, a latex mini and so many bangles and bib necklaces I might topple over from my stiletto heels.  Try to help me remain upright but hold tight because I'll be slicked up with baby oil and hair serum.  My bra will also be showing so try to not get distracted by my luscious oiled up cleavage on display.  If it's too much fabulosity and you begin to feel woozy grab on to my fake ponytail to steady yourself.

In honor of Brittany Murphy (RIP) I think we needs some fierce music while we practice our sexy squatting positions.  Meeoow.

No comments:

Post a Comment