Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Random stuff that definitely needs more Luda in it

Let's listen to the new Ludacris song while we talk about random important news and stuff. 

The first time I heard this song I was sure I was listening to Luda circa 1991 or something (that doesn't actually exist if you know your dirty south crunkness).  I mean is that the fucking chipmunks*????  It sounds like it should be playing in a roller skating rink during the skating intermission and people should be dancing in lines with choreographed moves like the cupid shuffle or something.  But then I remembered that I LOVE dancing in the middle of skating rinks!!  It's like the biggest stage ever and when my middle school dance team rented it out for our holiday parties we fucking rocked it in our leotards, ill-fitting sequined shorts and street-hooker-meets-beauty-pageant makeup.  And then I grew up and we only went to skating rinks to buy drugs, get into Mexican gang fights and throw ironic skating birthday parties for our twenty-something friends.  Things were all ironical fun and games until they had the intermission and the irony flew out the window while we knocked over a bunch of 12-yr olds selling drugs to get optimum spots on that shiny floor for maximum room for booty poppin' and the cha cha slide.  This ass needs at least 16 square feet to reach full ass poppification and to really see how low it can go.

-Here's an interview with Margaret Russell from the AJC.  She describes Southern decorating as being full of grace.  Yes please step into my graceful trailor Margaret. Please set your purse here on this delicate antique console table crafted of an old beer cooler with broken wheels with year-old mildewed newspapers sitting on top.  Careful of the pyramid of empty PBR cans - we think it adds dimension and visual interest to the foyer.


-Finally!  Monocles are back!!!  But since I can't afford lasik I'll just buy one for each eye and then just be double cool.  Take that Williamsburg hipsters!!!!  Or you could do this.  I feel a trend board coming on... check back soon!!

-I haven't read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies but I really really really want to and my intent to read it is enough for me to post about it.  I think we've already discussed how much I love zombies and ninjas and combining that with Edwardian nuance is just a super saucy idea!!  And now Natalie Portman is going to star in and produce the movie version.  How fucking awesome is that????!!!!!    She's bitchin and beautiful and one of the few people in Hollywood that I might actually want to be friends with.  Even though she's vegan.  I can let that slide.

picture commissioned for the deluxe hardcover edition courtesy of Irreference.

On a side note while browsing the bookstore last night the humor section is absolutely rampant with zombies and and the undead.  They are the next cutest-most-annoying fantasy things since crushed fairies and Jar Jar Binks.  It was gnomes before that.  Remember that shit?  Of course I live by Rock City so gnomes are like a part of my southern culture.  Oh you don't know what I'm talking about?  Well I think I just found my next post...

-Here's the new trailer for Robin Hood with Russell Crowe.  It's directed by Ridley Scott and has Cate Blanchett (my blonde Natalie Portman), some slow motion action scenes and some intense non-period rock and roll.  I can't wait.  It looks like Gladiator but more English.  Except for Russell's accent which sounds a lot like Kevin Costner's "accent" in the only Robin Hood movie I'll ever love.  I'm pretty sure I couples-only slow skated to "Everything I do I do it for you" about a million times.  And I only got pregnant to it once!!!  Hooray!!

*I actually love the chipmunks movie but only the eighties version - not that new CGI crap with Jason Lee.  He's a scientologist for god's sake and Simon is way too smart to put up with that nonsense.  He's a singing chipmunk not an imbecile.

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