Saucy tidbits with goat butter on top.

Here's a saucy grabbag of important things that are in my brain and what's been happening on the interwebs this week that caught my eye.  In fairness, it's not hard to catch my eye as long as it is full of shiny goodness reflected off the glitter wings of baby virgin pandas while they are dancing in the late summer rain.

Or there's shopping involved.

Fresh.  Like Doug E. Fresh but with way more lucite.

The bloggers who you read every day and wish you had their style even if you had to murder them and steal their creativity if that was even possible has made it possible but without the homicide part.  Friend of the Sauce Susie Q of Eye Spy, Nelya of Head Over Heels and Jenny of My Favorite and My Best have scoured the Southeast for all the awesomenest shit you will want to put in your home.  This is hard - I live in the Southeast and it's a wasteland around here sometimes.  Good thing for me they've set up shop in Hotlanta!  Those who are not blessed to live in the Dirty South can shop MINTY online and follow them on twitter.  Or don't.  More for me.  Mwahahahahaha!  

You know who could have used some MINTY in their lives?!  These homesteaders circa 1909 - taking pictures of their new homes to send home and show their families.  I'm obsessed with the entire collection of photographs on Slate probably because my great great madame grandmother took a picture just like this.  I'm kidding.  I come from a long line of horse thieves and hussies.

Horse thieves and hussies who love BUTTER!  Seriously, this butter is like goat ice cream you can put on your multi-grain English muffin with flax.  I would eat a roasted baby virgin panda if I could spread this stuff on top. I accidentally left it in the car after the grocery store one day where it ruined and then had a small memorial service for it.  Such a waste.   

via Amsterdam Modern

Never in a million years did I think I would type this next sentence but...  That yellow and white striped ceiling makes my designer bits tingle with unending pleasure.  Gio Ponti made it possible.  Thanks for turning me upside down, old timey starchitect.

A few weeks ago when I formally introduced myself, I got an avalanche of responses.  Not about my victory over the crushing anxiety that prevented me from walking outside or my imaginary monsters but, gawd bless you, you went straight for the important stuff: makeup.  I don't wear a lot of lipstick because I have big lips and I feel like anything more than clear usually makes me look like a Robert Palmer whore-mouth girl and I'd rather that impression happens after I open my mouth not before.  But I was on my way out to a birthday celebration so I threw caution to the wind and put on my new favorite gloss before taking a picture.  It's $3.  I'm a fancy yet frugal whore-mouth.  That's trying to wear more lipstick lately.

Australian Vogue Living via CMV 2.0

So much rainbow goodness.  MINTY, can y'all try to get one of everything in this picture?  At the very least I'll trade you a baby virgin panda dipped in melted goat milk butter and a half-used tube of $3 lip gloss for a bit of art.  


Deal?  Deal.

My grandmother would approve of the modesty but not the witchcraft of color forecasting.

If I remember correctly, about this time of year Pantone releases its colors for 2012 and THE color for 2012 follows shortly after that.  I never use this information in any way but I lurve talkin bout color and am always fascinated by how other people react to Pantone and trends in general.  


However, I've been seriously lacking on my blog reading and my finger has slipped from the pulse (probably wandered somewhere naughty) so I'm not sure what the hell Pantone has been doing lately.  They could be Honeysucking it all night long or forcing Americans to match their skin tone to a specific TC color and I wouldn't know.  I'm not going to google it because it'll ruin my fun and I want to see just how far off I am without any "research" for six months.  


So I decided to talk about the colors that *I* like lately!!  Because I'm the only one who matters. On this blog.  

Except for the exceptional caliber of readers and commenters I have...

Back to the rainbow at hand, I'm still obsessed with the colors in everyone's favorite picture:

originally from this post

I made some mild alterations because y'all perverts only saw nipples and I - the cultured classy one of this bunch - was able to look beyond that and focus on other things.  Like the fantastic horsey helmet!

Perhaps it's the fall in the air or that I can't stand to look at another pink and yellow summery funtime colorboard but I'm rather prone to dark mood colors lately.  And modesty apparently.

First up - indigo.

via Identical Eye

via here

You knew it was going to be big earlier this year because we were overrun with Honeysuckit and cobalt pairings everywhere you looked.  Just like macaroni and cheese or butter and jelly sandwiches, they just kinda work together.  Fortunately indigo left pank quite some time ago and has ventured on its own which works much better for me.  Butter and jelly sandwiches are only good for the first three bites, ya know.

But jelly on its own?!

Monique Lhuillier from Style

Saucy!  I have a strong aversion to purple but gawdammit if it doesn't keep rearing it's royal head everywhere I turn.  I hear you loud and clear, Universe, but I'm not happy about it.

UK Tattler Sept 2011 via Dust Jacket Attic

But I much prefer a deep maroon now.  It's my new favorite neutral.  

mashup by coco + kelley

And not because it's the color of wine...  Total coincidence.   (But wine really does go with everything.)

I know I've blogged this before but it deserves a repeat. via Busy Being Fabulous

This rusty/corally direction makes me want to dry hump something fierce on that couch but maybe it's just me.

Rhodochrosite from Mineralia

Moving away from ketchup is mustard.  (I think I'm hongray tonight...)

Twenty seven Names via Busy Being Fabulous

I must admit I'm feeling these honey tones lately.  I'm mixing my food references here but when is honey mustard ever a bad thing?!  NEVER I TELL YOU!!!  Mustard's tang makes indigo and plum and burgundy not seem so sad.  Wah wah waaaahhh...

I look like absolute vomit in shades of yellow and I'm pretty sure that if I were to put on mustard the universe would literally implode from the disgusting color tension.  But I still wouldn't mind a purse in it...   I'll just keep it far far away from my skin.  For the safety of you and universe.

via everywhere but I can't remember the original source... help?

After all of these warm colors you gotta throw in something cool:

Celerie Kemble and Anna Burke in Lonny

In this case, a giant pair of mint green granny panties.  I'm not sure that granny panties come in any other color...  NOR SHOULD THEY as they are the exact color of my great grandmother's house and her chenille bedspread and chairs in her living room and everything she ever touched.  

Being that I live in a mint-colored house with a mint-colored bathroom (and have a vintage mint chenille bedspread...) I've been all stocked up on this color for quite awhile and really don't care to see much more of it.  Unless it comes in a mojito...

Jeanne Opgenhaffen via Bancroft + Ivy

I hope that mint will be the gateway for other greens to follow.  Perhaps Zombie Pit Stain...???!!!  I'm ahead of the curve like that.


But I give two thumbs up for pairing mint with jewel tones.  I personally don't want to do that anywhere in my life but other people could do it and I applaud their wild abandon.  I might even reward their verve with a butter and jelly sandwich which is essentially cake.   White trash breakfast cake but still cake  


That is not to be confused with regular white trash cake which is white bread with butter and sprinkled with sugar.  Mmhh... childhood memories just like grandma used to make.  


I'm going to dream about having a mojito or seven and google colors for 2012.  Any guesses as to what the color of the year will be??  Indigo or mustard is a strong contender for me but I wouldn't be surprised to see any shade of purple.  Ugh.  


No cheating if you've already seen it!  I will smack that delicious sandwich right out of your lying hand if you cheat.


Just like your grandmother and her mint panties would do.


Try to get that image out of your head...

This makes me exceedingly happy.

via this isn't happiness and Uncle Beefy and all over the interwebs this week.
But really from New York Mag with dozens more for your viewing pleasure.

Go forth, thou sweet readers and hug a Brutalist building, fake a unibrow, poorly decorate your landing strip and just enjoy some general badassery this weekend.

I demand you delight in this but I'm a bossy drunk.

Nothing makes a blogger want to blog more than a sale at Anthro or a visit to a Mexican restaurant with a mucho grande margarita.  Guess which one I just had?!!!!  

Combine a few single ladies, a shitty couple of days and tequila, pour over crushed ice and serve in a giant salt-rimmed plastic cup and you are guaranteed to have gold.  By 'gold' I mean the nastiest, jaw-dropping, next-table-over-family-looking horrified conversation ranging from 401Ks to the Balkans to vaginas.  Mostly vaginas.  Sometimes that just happens when tequila gets involved.  I can't explain why but according to scientists, lady-to-lady talk is the filthiest conversation on the periodic table of saucy. You know what's the inverse of lady flowers?  

Brutalism. 

here

It's true.  I think it might be a question on the SATs or something so it's probably good to remember.

ModernSauce: grossing out educating America's youth since 2009. 

here

Best or worst segue ever?!  It barely made sense that we somehow talked about those things in the span of five minutes but fuck it.  Sometimes things go together and I don't have to explain how it works in my head.  My new obsession is the appropriately titled Fuck Yeah, Brutalism and it needs no backstory!


Delight in it!

here

I said DELIGHT!!!  *shakes fist*

here

Delight even harder.

here

So much delight I can hardly stand it.

But after such a lovely and sophisticated evening I come home to find out Steve Jobs died.  Ruined my taco high.  I barely know how to turn on the internet and I'm certainly no Apple fangirl but - and perhaps it was tequila's influence -  I got all emotional watching my Twitter stream.   Ok it was probably the tequila.  Then I cried watching the tv coverage.  Not the 'Michael Jackson dying' cry but still...  

Now Brutalism seems rather appropriate to my mood.

here

Way to waste a perfectly good female bonding discussion about vaginas, Universe.   

here 

here

I don't know - that is quickly restoring my margarita-induced delight. 

here

So no one likes clunky weirdo buildings as much as I do?  Sigh...  more for me then!  I've already proven my great and slightly off-balance love for them in this old post about Yugoslavian war memorials (that I thought were somewhat Soviet at the time) and I think the margarita-fueled lady flower/Balkan travelling story/Brutalism connection has just been made in my head.  Drunk starting to wear off now...


Normalcy returning...


Sadly...

here

But still, this is 100% vagina approved.

And no I don't know what that means either but I'm still tipsy enough where that seems appropriate and completely logical.

I really need some Emily Henderson up in this place...

After Friday's reveal of the glorious new living room paint color at the Ranch I thought we should talk about something really really serious. 

Like my front door's landing strip. 

Doesn't everyone like to be a voyeur and discuss in agonizing detail the junk someone accessorizes their house with?!  Not me, of course.  I read design blogs for the articles. *wink, wink*

So let's break it down Saucy style!

Enlarge for XTREME DETAILZ!

1. Metal table from Wayfair. Currently $259 although I can't remember if I paid that four years ago...  Wayfair was previously CSN - a change I just discovered.  I tweeted something snarky about their relationship status and they actually responded in equal snark. Gawd bless 'em.  They win at social media and therefore my heart. West Elm just doesn't get my tweets.

2. Coral. $3.  I'll admit it.  I have a collection of sea paraphernalia.  I did this long before Z Gallerie, Pottery Barn, et al. murdered this idea so therefore I can still display these things because I'm the real OG of accessories.  Suck it.  This piece came from an estate sale of a woman whose hobby was creating shell crafts which is most likely what I'll be doing when I die.

As I waited in line outside this woman's house I overheard people whisper that the former owner - gawd rest her soul - was "eccentric" *ears perked up* and that she spent years crafting silly animals out of shells. *hands start to sweat*  In fact, her entire basement is supposedly filled with shells, they whispered even lower to denote the proper amount of pity one should feel upon learning such information. I MUST get in that basement!  *quad stretches*  At precisely noon o'clock the doors opened and I beat away some grandmas to get in that basement where I encountered 1000 sq ft of glistening white shell crafts collected over 30 years.  *decorgasmisplosion*  Some of that shit is illegal now.  I have boxes of it.  Who's "eccentric" now, fuckers?!!!

3. Rock. Free.  I stole this from a State Park obtained it during a wilderness hike for a friend's birthday.  Look at me doing outside things!!  But I definitely want to remember this:

It's not like I have a picture or anything to preserve the memory...

What are we talking about again?  Oh yeah...

4. Vintage Golden Eagle Motor Inns postcard. $1 at a junk store.  It's, like, Americana.  They're on ebay for $6 now - that's almost an 800% ROI.  Fuck yeah!!

5. Delicious rainbow needlepoint. Free - Christmas gift. I also collect needlepoints because lady craftsmanship from olden times rocks my vagina off.  Possibly more than shells but I don't want to get too irresponsible with such bold statement.

6. After I took the switchplates off, goblins came in the middle of the night and magically changed each one so they no longer fit their corresponding switches anymore.  True story.  I've tried to put this one on about 4 times and am still unsuccessful.  I have little defenses against magic.

7. Photo of random dude doing smart things.  Ebay years ago... maybe $10 for the giant lot?  I can't remember but I now have a box of weird-ass art school photos in my closet I can bring out at parties.  Random dude sits in a Pottery Barn Outlet frame.  $40. Art that costs a quarter, frame that costs $40.  That doesn't make any kind of sense.  Welcome to being poor!  And I do like PB's frames, by the way.  But only the ones from the outlet...

8. Hollie Chastain collage. $80 total I think.  You may or may not remember when I stalked discovered Hollie last year.  I went to buy this piece on etsy only to find out she lives right here in Chattavegas!  Say what?!  Now we're friends and go junkin together sometimes.  When I let her out of basement...

9. Glass orb. $1.50 at estate sale (half off on Sundays, of course).  Not the same estate sale as before - I get around.  I use this little guy as a crystal ball to spy on people and see who's getting kicked off Project Runway next.  Great investment piece. 

I know there are lots of rules that should apply to proper styling but I don't really know them even though Emily Henderson is the only show I watch on HGTV but she's apparently not available for rent.  I try to vary height and textures but mostly I don't think too much about it and set things around that make me happy and seem completely rational.  For instance, Hollie's collage has colored raindrops and because the phrase is "right as rain" it must be on the right side.

You can't argue with decorating science like that.  

Also the coral and rock are both from outsideland and therefore should sit next to each other and be friends.  Like hippies.  That rock can't sit next to the crystal ball because that's waaay too much roundiness together and that would be stupid!  

Or maybe I should get another rock to balance it out??  Damn, I have to go on another wilderness hike...

Styling is so exhausting.

I attempted fabulosity 3 weeks ago and beige mediocrity finally ensued!

So remember 17 years ago when my living room looked like this?

Then I painted it and then went away for awhile and you totally forgot about how much you couldn't wait to see it?  


Well here it is in all its Benjamin Moore's Elephant Tusk glory!!

Let's have a vignette convo next time, huh?!

Wow!  It's so.... so.... beige.  I mean, Champagne Truffle Elephant Tusk Sunrise!!!!  It might appear super boring but I assure you it's the color of virgin angel wings (is there another kind of angel?) in person.  The room grew three times its original size and it feels so fresh and so clean clean up in hurr and not even the barest hint of zombie pit stain. 

A lot of people hate painting but I love it like I love organizing a closet or eating half a pizza.  All are tasks that require hard work and dedication but are so worth it.  The prep work makes me cranky (and I'm not talking about the special joy I have in choosing the paint color or deciding what toppings I want) but after that I can get into my zen space and I'm good until some part of me starts cramping which is usually my delicate lady hands.  The rollers with a 1.75 inch shag carpet nap that I need for my super textured plaster walls can hold up to twelve pounds of paint and that shit gets heavy.  

There were several life-altering pro tips gleaned during this painting party of one that you will no doubt want to record in your diary for future generations:

I used BM's ben paint which I actually really liked.  It's their low odor, low VOC option.  Normally I only go for the chemical-laden cheap shit because I can't afford $65 for a can of earth-hugging paint and I don't need some corporation making me feel guilty for not spending a few dollars extra. But this is their low-priced option too so I get to feel superior AND save some bank!  Only needed two coats (No primer. I'm a rebel like that.) over my cratered walking dead-colored walls and I was good.  This was also nice because it took me almost 24 total hours to prep, paint and edge the space so a third coat would have meant certain death.  

At about hour 20 things start to get fuzzy - the drip cloth gets tangled and left behind because fuck it, I'm awesome at this and don't even need a drip cloth, cat hair makes its way into the paint tray and I'm tired of squatting.  Having to sit on the couch in the middle of the room is really fucking up my feng shui too.

This time I also upgraded from the lame ole blue painter's tape to the cult classic FrogTape.

I don't know about y'all but I thought it was fantastic.  And lemme tell ya, I can edge like a motherfucker - drawing for a living has its benefits - but I have to tape off the baseboards.  I just do.  DON'T JUDGE ME!!!!  But my excellent taping skills are known throughout the land - possibly more than my edging abilities.  I have an old putty knife that I use to 'seal' the edges and I sit on a special taping off pillow that I scoot around the floor on and sing the "I have no legs song" like the guy from Kids except I don't beg for money.  You will just throw money at me though because I'm just. that. good.  If you look directly at my taping you'll cry from the sheer beauty of it.  Truth. 

Speaking of edging, I also upgraded to a nicer angled brush.

In the past I've used the little purple guy with the funky rubber handle because that's what someone gave me when I first started painting but they were looking rough after many years of abuse.  I don't know why I didn't get a Purdy this time other than I didn't want to be all boughie.  I thought the brush above worked great except I accidentally left it out when I was done and it dried into a giant hard paint stick.  Dammit. In my defense I was sidetracked by the 9/11 memorial coverage so I think that was a good excuse.  Small sacrifice.

Next time - Purdy.  Because I'm worth it.

Apparently I was only worth FrogTape this time.  I like to treat myself luxuriously like the fancy beige Madame I am.

Why am I not a movie producer, y'all??!

Between the vacations and tangents I feel like I haven't posted any good old-fashioned interiors porn in a long time.  You know, just like your grandma used to blog about back in the day while drinking her Vitameatavegamin and riding on a buffalo or whatever people did back in the olden times.


Aren't you a little surprised that I refereneced Vitameatavegamin and Crime Mobb within 24 hours of each other?  Even I am.


But I needed more than normal interior porn - Lonny wouldn't do for what I had in mind.  I need to go to the good stash - big, bold positively indecent kinds of spaces.  In this case one of my fave tumblrs enochliew had the goods.  Unlike many of the other deviants on tumblr, this person actually credits the images (mostly) and that makes me exceedingly happy.  I squee hard for manners.

here

I also squee hard for this hallway that looks like glitter.  Some serious dancing and jazz hands would be passionately but mediocrely executed there.  Just sayin.

Bell Lloc winery by RCR architects here

Winery or post-apocalyptic prison hallway?  Who cares!  It's pretty bitchin and would be fun to skip down.

ice hotel

I'm not sure if I ever actually want to go to an ice hotel but I'm just grateful to look at some spaces where I can't name the store where each piece of furniture and art came from.  Spaces that are EXPERIENCES are what I'm feeling right now.

White Nothing Happens by Ernesto Neto here

I kinda want to lay under that installation!  I bet I could recreate it in my dining room with some old pantyhouse filled with a few rocks in the toes draped off my chandelier...  hhhmm....  *strokes beard*  I honestly think the weirdest part about that plan is trying to find pantyhose.  I think they quit making that shit in 1978.

Welsh Assembly by Richard Rogers here

I hate mushrooms but I wouldn't mind hanging out underneath this giant one in some swan chairs.

I'm loving all these big neutral spaces but they are kinda putting me to sleep...

Birkbeck College by Surface Architects here

Zoinks!  I don't know what I'm looking at but I want to experience some stuff in here.

here

I know even less what's going on here but oddly I want to go there more.  I'm an enigma wrapped in a riddle inside a strangely colored box...

Leviathan by Anish Kapoor here

Double zoinks!  Even odder, creepy red lighting is my most favoritest kind of lighting!  Specifically the red from brake lights when you're sitting behind a car at night in the middle of the country and there's that super creepy moment when you lock eyes with yourself in the rearview mirror and feel like a spy or someone in a B murder/mystery movie but not the girl that dies - the other girl.

Or possibly the actual murderer because too much red lighting makes one feel rather stabby.  Good thing that car ahead of me is driving off...

Rainbow Panorama by Olafur Eliasson here

This is decidedly less stabby.  I bet this is just a normal hallway but we're somehow looking at it through Karim Rashid's forever pink-tinted sunglasses or something...

Dreamspace by Maurice Agis here

Maybe this is what the inside of Karim Rashid looks like???!!!!!  If we all put on a kaftan, were miniaturized and then injected into him just like the 1987 Martin Short/Dennis Quaid powerhouse Innerspace it would be just like this!  Don't remember Innerspace??  Your loss.  It was only the greatest movie of the eighties.

Except for Big Trouble in Little China of course.  Cinematic masterpiece.  

I can't remember if there were any creepy red brake light scenes in it but that's the only possible way that movie could have been improved upon.

Unless Lo Pan could be played by Karim Rashid...

*strokes beard*